Talk:30 Goes Around the Sun

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Thebiguglyalien in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:30 Goes Around the Sun/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 04:52, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply

I think this one has waited quite long enough for a review. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 04:52, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply

The article looks pretty good. A few issues here and there, but it mostly just needs some tightening of the prose. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 06:07, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Thebiguglyalien: I've made the changes and left comments below. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
MusicforthePeople, I've commented below on everything that still needs to be addressed. I figured that there would be limited reviews to work with, but there should still be enough that it's not an issue. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Thebiguglyalien: I've addressed the remaining issues and had a look through the booklet, though it didn't offer anything more in terms of artwork discussion. MusicforthePeople (talk) 08:59, 28 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for checking. I'll pass the review and then probably go check out some of Wonder Stuff's other albums. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:36, 28 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Well-written

Complies with all necessary Manual of Style pages. Notes on the prose:

  • Semicolons are a bit overused; this is something I watch for because it's a bad habit of my own.
Out of interest, is there a guideline/essay saying how many (or how few) there should be? MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Not to my knowledge. I'm going off of pure readability and when a comma+conjunction or a full stop might be better grammatically. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • was drafted in to be their sound engineer, replacing their older one. – It can probably be assumed that he replaced the previous one. I don't think this clause needs to be there unless it specifies who he replaced.
  • Despite writing five songs in January 2015 – Not sure if "despite" is the right word here. It might be better to just say that he wrote five songs but struggled to write more.
  • The word "jamming" shows up a few times, but it's a bit informal.
Added link to jam session. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • It says that they got money from On No It's and from crowdfunding. The way it's written makes it seem like they contradict each other.
  • Syner and Champion served as engineers. – Maybe I'm just not well-versed in music production, but what does this mean? The article doesn't provide any additional context.
Added link to Audio engineer. Usually, the engineer is the one in charge of whatever system they're using to record, be it a tape recorder or Pro Tools on a computer. Sometimes it can refer to setting up equipment, such as microphone placement, amps, etc. As a side note, some producers even prefer to be credited as engineers, such as Steve Albini on 24 Hour Revenge Therapy. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Addendum: "engineer" is the common term for studio work whereas "sound engineer" (also known as "front of house engineer" or simply "FOH engineer") is for live performances, just to be clear. MusicforthePeople (talk) 13:54, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Discussing "Weakened", Hunt said he would not typically give relationship advice when asked but might do so if he was in the mood. – This is a little unclear. Is this what the whole song is about, or is it just referencing one part of it?
I think the whole song; I don't have the source (album booklet) immediately on hand, but I can check it tomorrow. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
All right. It just needs some sort of indication of how it relates to the song. Right now it reads like a non sequitur. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Seems that the source is referring to the song as a whole. I've reworked it. MusicforthePeople (talk) 08:59, 28 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • and has the same happy atmosphere as "Full of Life (Happy Now)" – Define atmosphere.
The source refers to it as "defiantly joyful ambience"; I had used "vibe" in a different nom awhile ago, though I was told that was not encyclopaedic. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Would "tone" or "mood" be more precise? Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Gone with mood. MusicforthePeople (talk) 16:31, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • this was the first time an album they appeared on charted – "appeared on charted" is a strange turn of phrase that I had to read twice to understand.
  • It says it was promoted with an anniversary tour, changes the subject to charting, and then goes back to The Wonder Stuff followed the tour. These sentences should be rearranged.
  • The reception section consists entirely of "X said Y" statements. These aren't necessarily a bad thing, but they can be improved upon. WP:RECEPTION is really helpful for this.
I have been following that guide for a little while now, and I would have used the advice there for this article, but the main issue is the lack of reviews. Google didn't turn up much and the ones that are reliable (all three of them) are already in the article. I debated withholding this article from GAN because of this issue. Similarly, I did start work on Oh No It's... and then stopped as I couldn't find more than one RS review for it. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
It might be worth thinking about whether there's any other way to present the information despite how little there is. But if not, it won't affect the review. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
I've restructured the reviews around Nockalls' involvement. MusicforthePeople (talk) 16:31, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • I can't think of a better place to get it than – The quote should be transcribed in a way that avoids personal pronouns. It might be preferable just to rewrite the sentence without this part of the quote.
  Verifiable with no original research

Standard references list. All sources are reliable (HuffPost is marginal but should be fine for this use, YouTube is acceptable as it's a valid primary source in this case). WP:EARWIG only picks up attributed quotes. I've checked the following sources:

  • Etheridge (2 Dec 2016): Good. It starts to follow the source beat-by-beat a little bit, but I don't think it's severe enough to where anything needs to be changed.
  • Cooper: Good.
  • Scott-Bates: Good.
  • Thornton: Good.

Only one issue in this area: make sure that all quotes and attributed opinions have inline citations immediately following them, even if it duplicates one used in the next sentence.

  Broad in its coverage

No issues with unnecessary detail. The only major omission that stands out is that there's no information about the album cover or the packaging. I'd also suggest more information about each individual song, but that would be a task for FA rather than GA.

As with the reception bit, I would happily pull song information from reviews if more were available. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Do any of the sources talk about the album cover in any way? Does the album booklet give any description of what's depicted? Thebiguglyalien (talk) 15:55, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
I combed through the sources and the only mention is Hunt saying "The latest album is now finished complete with the artwork" from the interview with UK Music Reviews, unfortunately. Off the top of my head, I don't recall the booklet going in-depth beyond the two credits (GRIN/Nick Sayers) listed, but I can check it tomorrow. MusicforthePeople (talk) 16:31, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
Booklet doesn't have anything further annoyingly. MusicforthePeople (talk) 08:59, 28 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Neutral
  • Even though it's in a quote, Hunt was "optimistic that we might see the back of the Tory bully boys that had been in charge for too long" could still be interpreted as WP:Wikivoice or otherwise endorsing his opinion.
I thought this would be fine as-is since it's next to the song title he's talking about. I've re-jigged it a little. MusicforthePeople (talk) 10:40, 27 February 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Double check to make sure there are no other major viewpoints in reviews of the album that are being missed. While there shouldn't be a WP:FALSEBALANCE, it's worth making sure that nothing important is missed.
  Stable

No recent edits to article or talk page.

  Illustrated

The only image is the album cover in the infobox with a standard non-free use rationale.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.