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COI - copied comment from Draft
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Comment: On behalf of Ajit Mohan, I am submitting a draft article as part of my work at Beutler Ink. Given my conflict of interest, which I've also disclosed on the Talk page, I will not publish the article to the main space and ask independent editors to review for accuracy, neutrality, and verifiability. For this project, Mr. Mohan provided feedback to ensure accuracy of the entry, which is based on reputable secondary coverage. I am more than happy to address any questions or concerns that may arise during the review process. Thanks in advance for your consideration and help. Inkian Jason (talk) 18:16, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
I have copied the above comment verbatim rom the Draft: page, believing it to be a useful part of the talk page history 🇺🇦 FiddleTimtrent FaddleTalk to me 🇺🇦 00:34, 11 October 2022 (UTC)
Update
editOn behalf of Ajit Mohan, I'd like to propose some updates to this biography. More specifically, I propose expanding on his tenures at Hotstar and Meta India, relocating content from the Board service and recognition section to the Career section, and adding subsection headings for organizational purposes. I've published an updated entry here for editor review.
I'd like to outline the changes I'm proposing:
- In the Career section, I've proposed two text additions related to Hotstar, per Bloomberg News and TechCrunch sources
- I've also added more detail about the subject's tenure at Meta India and move to Snap Inc., per Bloomberg News, The Ken, The Economic Times, and TechCrunch sources
- In order to improve flow, I propose moving some of the claims from the Board service and recognition section. More specifically, I suggest relocating content about Hotstar to this part of the Career section.
- I've proposed adding the subsection headings Star Network and Hotstar, Facebook India and Meta India, and Snap Inc. to the Career section for organizational purposes.
You can view text additions in green and text relocations in orange.
I'd like to think these are fairly non-controversial changes (diff), but I welcome your feedback. Again, my goal is to expand on his tenures in the Career section and improve readability by grouping related text. To be clear, I am only proposing changes to the Career and Board service and recognition sections, not the Early life and education, Personal life, or other sections.
@Timtrent: Back in October 2022, you accepted a draft I had submitted via Articles for Creation in June. Would you be willing to take a look at the proposed additions and text relocations, and copy over the updated entry on my behalf? If you prefer, I can use Template:Request edit to propose specific updates, but I figured I'd start with you given your previous assistance.
Timtrent, If you are comfortable with these updates, you can copy over markup at User:Inkian Jason/Ajit Mohan from the "short description" to "Authority control". You'll just want to remove the "Font color" templates. Again, if you are not interested in reviewing, I can submit a series of edit requests. Thanks for your consideration, Inkian Jason (talk) 15:12, 2 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Inkian Jason I have no interest in this. I do not return to drafts I have accepted very often and see no reason to make an exception. Please use the relevant template to request your edit. 🇺🇦 FiddleTimtrent FaddleTalk to me 🇺🇦 15:28, 2 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Timtrent: That's no problem at all! Thanks for confirming so quickly. Inkian Jason (talk) 16:08, 2 May 2023 (UTC)
Request to expand on tenure at Meta India
edit | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. |
Above, I've provided an overview of changes I've proposed to update the Ajit Mohan entry, which I'm submitting on his behalf as part of my work at Beutler Ink. In case the suggested changes are too much for editors to review at once, I'm submitting an edit request seeking to add detail about the subject's tenure at Meta India, which has come to an end. Currently, the article's Career section says:
Current text
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Following Facebook Inc.'s rebrand in 2021, Mohan worked at the same role at Meta India.[1][2][3] He stepped down from his role as vice president and managing director of Facebook India Online Services Pvt Ltd, the Indian subsidiary of Meta Platforms in November 2022 to join rival Snap Inc. From January 2023, he will be succeeded in the role by Sandhya Devanathan (current vice president and managing director of Meta India).[4] References
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The current text says essentially nothing about his time at Meta India. I recommend keeping the first sentence, but rewording the overly detailed second sentence about his move to Snap Inc. In between, I propose expanding the text to describe his role and credit him for specific accomplishments as explicitly stated in reputable publications (Bloomberg News, The Economic Times, The Ken, and TechCrunch).
Request: I propose replacing this paragraph with the following, which expands on his Meta tenure and mentions his move to Snap in a more neutral manner:
Proposed text
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Following Facebook Inc.'s rebrand in 2021, Mohan worked at the same role at Meta India.[1][2][3] Meta's restructure "allowed Mohan to oversee key functions like sales, marketing, and government affairs, all of which had earlier reported to the Asia Pacific leadership or to the global headquarters", according to The Ken.[4] In this role, he oversaw the growth of Meta's products, Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp.[5] Bloomberg News credited Mohan for leading Instagram's "expansion into short-form video, helping the platform win close to 500 million users after the government banned TikTok in 2020".[6] The Ken's Anushka Jain said Mohan's tenure "was defined by striking a balance between helping Meta stand its ground and keeping the government happy", and wrote, "while Meta will remember Mohan for successfully playing dodgeball with the regulatory authorities, his legacy will also include growing the company's India business significantly". Jain credited Mohan for "re-engineering" Meta India's operations, for "playing a pivotal role" in Meta's investment in Jio Platforms, for "[ensuring] that Facebook was on good terms with the central government", and for overseeing the launch of a WhatsApp feature which limited message forwarding in an attempt to combat misinformation.[4] In November 2022, Mohan stepped down from his role at Meta India to become president of Snap Inc.'s Asia-Pacific business,[6][7] effective February 2023.[5] References
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These changes can be seen highlighted in green at this draft page.
I'm happy to address any concerns here. I'm also willing to provide extended quotes from the Ken article, which is a very lengthy and detailed but paywalled source. Please let me know if you're willing to address any of the other changes I've proposed above, otherwise I'll continue this series of edit requests.
Thanks! Inkian Jason (talk) 16:47, 2 May 2023 (UTC)
Request to expand on Hotstar
edit| | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. |
Above, I've provided an overview of changes I've proposed to update the Ajit Mohan entry, which I'm submitting on his behalf as part of my work at Beutler Ink. In case the suggested changes are too much for editors to review at once, I'm submitting an edit request seeking to add detail about Hotstar.
Currently, the article's Career section says:
Current text
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In April 2012, Mohan joined the Star Network, where he held various roles including senior vice president and executive vice president. He became the head of its digital business in 2013, from where he launched the live sports platform Starsports.com and Star India's streaming media platform Hotstar in 2015,[1] and was later named chief executive officer (CEO) in April 2016.[2] According to Fortune India, Mohan "played an important role in Star India's foray into video streaming when Star Sports started to live stream the ICC World Twenty20 cricket tournament in 2014".[3] References
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None of this text is problematic, but I propose expanding the text in three ways:
- Relocate the following text from the Board service and recognition section: Writers for Fortune India have credited Mohan for leading Hotstar "to great success".[1] Liz Shackleton of Screen Daily credited him for helping to build the platform into "India's biggest online video service".[2]
- Add the following, per Bloomberg News: In 2022, Bloomberg News credited Mohan for making Hotstar the "leading streaming platform" in India.[3]
- Add the following, per TechCrunch: In 2023, TechCrunch's Manish Singh called Mohan and Uday Shankar's "strategic investment" in cricket streaming "a move that proved transformative" and "catapulted Hotstar to prominence as a household name".[4]
References
- ^ Thakur, Arnika; Sen, Abhik (1 April 2020). "What's in the stars for Facebook?". Fortune India. Archived from the original on 28 June 2022. Retrieved 9 May 2022.
- ^ Shackleton, Liz (24 September 2018). "Facebook India hires former Hotstar chief Ajit Mohan". Screen Daily. Archived from the original on 24 September 2018. Retrieved 9 May 2022.
- ^ Phartiyal, Sankalp; Barinka, Alex (November 3, 2022). "Meta's India Chief Quits to Become Snap's Asia-Pacific President". Bloomberg News. Retrieved April 17, 2023.
- ^ Singh, Manish. "Ambani bats for cricket glory as Disney scales back in India". TechCrunch. Retrieved April 17, 2023.
Request: As seen here, I propose replacing this paragraph with the following, which expands on his work at Star Network and Hotstar, grouping related text in the process:
Proposed text
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In April 2012, Mohan joined the Star Network, where he held various roles including senior vice president and executive vice president. He became the head of its digital business in 2013, from where he launched the live sports platform Starsports.com and Star India's streaming media platform Hotstar in 2015,[1] and was later named chief executive officer (CEO) in April 2016.[2] Writers for Fortune India have credited Mohan for leading Hotstar "to great success".[3] Liz Shackleton of Screen Daily credited him for helping to build the platform into "India's biggest online video service".[4] In 2022, Bloomberg News credited Mohan for making Hotstar the "leading streaming platform" in India.[5] According to Fortune India, Mohan "played an important role in Star India's foray into video streaming when Star Sports started to live stream the ICC World Twenty20 cricket tournament in 2014".[6] In 2023, TechCrunch's Manish Singh called Mohan and Uday Shankar's "strategic investment" in cricket streaming "a move that proved transformative" and "catapulted Hotstar to prominence as a household name".[7] References
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These changes can be seen highlighted in green (new text) and orange (relocated text) at this draft page. You'll also notice I've proposed adding the subsection headings Star Network and Hotstar, Facebook India and Meta India, and Snap Inc., for organizational purposes.
I'm happy to address any concerns here. Thanks! Inkian Jason (talk) 17:02, 8 May 2023 (UTC)
Reply 27-JUN-2023
editI've looked over the requested changes for the two sections. My concern is that the expansion of information brought here covers the authors evaluations of the article's subject ('authors' being the authors of the references provided).
- In the first request, The Ken's Anushka Jain, for example, stating that the subject was " striking a balance between helping Meta stand its ground and keeping the government happy". Jain also states the subject "play(ed)ing a pivotal role" in Meta's investment in Jio Platforms, for [ensuring] that Facebook was on good terms with the central government"
- In the second request, the Bloomberg claim that the subject was "making Hotstar the 'leading streaming platform' in India", as well as TechCrunch's calling the subject's "strategic investment" in cricket streaming "a move that proved transformative".
In the examples above, the impetus in requesting them is to impart these broad, favorable conclusions about the subject's work upon the subject's Wikipedia article, in essence, creating a "review" section where the subject's work is not just given a rote delineation (i.e., the subject worked here for so many years, then here for so many years) but, instead, is given subjective acclaim to accompany those descriptions (arguably from industry 'journalists' who, while being experts in their field, are still making evaluations open to debate).
Too much of this and the article's quality can diminish, especially when ambiguous phraseology such as "playing a pivotal role" or calling moves "transformative" while highlighting the subject's helping Meta to "stand its ground" are suggested to be added. Even though these claims would be properly presented as coming from the sources' authors (and not using Wikipedia's voice) they still skirt WP:AWW. Perhaps if these claims were grounded in something more tangible (e.g., how was his work pivotal, how did his work make Hotstar a leading platform; in what way was it transformative, etc.) I look forward to your feedback. Spintendo 23:50, 27 June 2023 (UTC)