Talk:Alex Tanguay/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 00:17, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Did an initial copy edit throughout; here are the remaining issues:

Lead

• Could be beefed up some more.
• I don't think HC Lugano warrants a mention in the lead. He only played six games with them.

• I included the team as they are a team in a top-level league. IMO, it would be a NHL-centric POV to not include them.

• I feel like the lead lacks some coherency. It mostly reads like a bullet form summary of his career. I'm not sure what I'm specifically looking for though, so maybe just see what you can do with it and I'll re-assess it?
• Is "graduate" maybe too closely related to an academic completion?

• Maybe. I consider it standard terminology. I've changed to "alumnus" though. Is that better?

• Consider adding a wiktionary link for "playmaking". Could be considered jargon, I think.

• Done

Junior

• How did Canada do at the WJC

• Added

• When did the Mooseheads retire his jersey specifically?

• Added

• I don't know about using "debut" in its current context. Doesn't it usually refer to the first game, as opposed to a handful of them? The next sentence uses "debut" in such manner, which I think can confuse the definition of the word in the article.

• Reworded

Colorado Avalanche

• Could you find some detail regarding his first point? I assume it was an assist, so who scored the goal? Who won the game?

• Added

• Which goaltender did he score his first goal against? What was the score?

• Added goalie

• Who'd he finish behind in the rookie scoring race?

• Gomez, added.

• Mention his participation in the NHL YoungStars Game

• Noted

• "In his sophomore season.. Tanguay mproved to 77 points in the regular season..." I think you can remove "regular season". It sounds redundant with the double usage of "season" in the same sentence and I think the fact you say "added 21 more in the playoffs" makes it apparent that 77 points was his regular season total anyway.

• Fixed

• "and finished sixth int he NHL in plus-minus..." It sounds like he had a +35 rating in November alone.

• Reworded

• It seems weird to mention his 400th career point, but not his 500th. Not a big deal though.

• umm, durr. Added

Calgary, Montreal, Tampa

• "season" is used three times in the trade rumour sentence.

• Fixed

• How many points with Tampa? What was his negative plus-minus?

• Fixed

• "Admitting that people..." It reads like he signed the contract because people were questioning his ability to play. Is this the case? Also is this something you "admit" to or perhaps more appropriately, "realize"?

• Reworded

• Season-ending stats for the last season?

• Added

Playing style

• Is shooting percentage necessarily an indicator of shooting ability? Couldn't it also simply be opportunism?

• Probably both

• Is 9 SOG the final total for the 2010-11 season? Needs to be changed to past tense.

• Updated and changed tense

Personal life

• Where was he born?

• Sainte-Justine. Reworded for clarity

References

• 1. 6: Remove italics for Halifax Mooseheads Hockey Club
  2. 29: Add italics for Hockey News
  3. 35 needs to be looked at

• All three fixed.

External links

• Consider adding more, like NHL.com, Legends, etc

• Added

That's all for now. Nice work; let me know when you're done addressing the issues and let me know if you have any questions. Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 00:17, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Hopefully I'll get to this tomorrow, but it may be the weekend before I have the time to sit down and address these. Thanks for the review! Resolute 22:36, 4 May 2011 (UTC)

Some looked at, hopefully the rest on the morrow. Resolute 20:43, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

all should now be done! Resolute 01:06, 11 May 2011 (UTC)

I tweaked the lead a little bit, but feel free to revert it if you're not a fan. I'll wait on completing the review until you check it out. Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 00:27, 14 May 2011 (UTC)

Looks great, thanks! Not sure how or why, but I just hit a block there. Resolute 20:19, 14 May 2011 (UTC)

Cool. I did some additional edits.. mostly punctuation and spelling corrections. More importantly, I passed the article, so congrats! Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 21:20, 14 May 2011 (UTC)