Talk:Ata Hussain Fani Chishti

Untitled

Syed-ul-waselin shah ghulam hussain danapuri was the paternal granfather and syed-ul-asheqin shah shahmsuddin hussain danapuri was the maternal grandfather of shah-e-ata.Both Shah Ghulam Hussain and Shamshuddin husssain were sibling brothers and chishti.The in-laws of shamshuddin Hussain were Qadri ,not Shamshuddin Hussain himself. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Syedmohammad (talk • contribs) 18:00, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

Tone

I did some work on the page trying to adjust the tone from something like a fan page. If anyone else wants to help out that would be great. Dreambeaver (talk) 06:05, 22 December 2011 (UTC)

copyedit

Hi there, as per the request on your article page, I am going to attempt to copyedit your article. I have never heard of this person before, have no bias against him or his beliefs and have no agenda other than to improve the article by using wiki-copyediting guidelines. Having said that, I'll go section by section, leaving notes here, if you see something I've done wrong, or that you think is not an improvement on the article, please go ahead and revert me, I won't be offended! And if that's not enough, join the list of snarky comments on my talk page! Thanks, --^Despay_re (^tal_k) 07:11, 27 March 2012 (UTC)

Lead:

- removed "He was a Sufi" from the lead, since the previous sentence says he was a sa famous Sufi saint, I think it goes without saying after that, that he was a Sufi

- added serial comma to poet, linguist, etc list

- Removed the part about everyone loving him to core of their heart, I do not think there will be a cite coming that proves that absolutely everyone loved him unconditionally, reworded the text

- I hope there's a cite down in the article that's going to talk about converting genies to Islam, otherwise we need a {{fact}} tag here

- Reworded final sentence, better english, kept all the info

Infobox:

- removed /1232AH from birthdate in infobox, as well as /1311AH from deathdate

- removed "AD" from dates as well

Biography:

- {{elucidate}} tag added, what does this mean? "made the successor of the ancestral Khanquah", what is a Khanquah?

- his "pir-o-murshid"? I'm assuming that's the grandfather that was just mentioned, replaced with common english word, "grandfather"

- what is "Khilafat-o-Ijazat" is it something that is awarded? is it a title? is it like a diploma? was he awarded *a* Khilafat-o-Ijazat or *the* Khilafat-o-Ijazat? added {{not English-inline}} template

Ancestral history:

- All these names listed need to be cited, {{unreferenced section}} tag

- minor prose fix, changed "in" to "into"

- changed plurailty, he was born into one of the families, not born into one of the family

- removed an Imam reference, his name is linked to an article, and seems redundant, if he was already an imam, that will be in his article, this one isn't about him

- "he sent him to Delhi" tagged as ambiguous, who sent who?

- removed extra links as per wp:overlink, India and Islam, Sufism

- cites for lineage, oh so needed! {{fact}} tag liberally plastered

Great Ancestors:

- Examples needed.{{elucidate}} tag added

Tajuddin Dehlavi:

- removed Delhi wikilink as per wp:overlink

- think he died before he was buried in Delhi, touched up prose a little

- removed more overlinks, Gaya, Bihar, India, all previously linked in the article

Allauddin Kailpavi:

- removed wikilinks as per wp:overlink, Uttar Pradesh, and India

- added {{Fact}} template, cite needed

Syed Mohammad Kalpavi:

- removed wikilink, per overlink, hijri

Badshah Ke Pir:

- Removed italics from section title, is there some reason his is the only name in italics?

- removed extraneous "of that kingdom"

- removed overlinks, Bihar, India

- "He invited him to his capital" who invited who?? {{ambiguous}} tag added

- {{fact}} tag added, regarding temples that are still there today

Syed Qutbuddin:

- removed overlink, Patna

- minor prose fix to second sentence

Syed Shah Mohammad Basir:

- overlinks removed

- typo fixed

- minor prose fixes

- {{fact}} tag added to his age and death date

Syed-ul-Majzubin:

- {{elucidate}} tag added, what does this sentence mean? I have no idea... "He was bait in the Chistia Serajia Faridia order but the chain did not continue after him."

Syed-ul-Waselin:

- removed duplicate four sons reference

Final settlement:

- removed overlink, India

- minor prose fixes

- {{fact}} tag, where did we hear about these dreams?

Spiritual history:

- {{not English-inline}} tag added

- minor grammatical fixes

- Nonsensical statement tagged, "he had order of the fourteen major orders"

- again, what does this mean in english? "He was originally bait in the Chistia Khizria Monamia order"

- All these names listed need to be cited, {{unreferenced section}} tag

Titles given:

- Italics removed from title given to him

- minor prose fix

Descendants:

- plurality fix

- scholarly articles (like an encyclopedia) shouldn't use contractions when avoidable, changed 'didn't' to 'did not'

- minor prose fix in the "blessings" sentence

- minor prose fix to the successor sentence

Syed Shah Ghulam Qutubuddin Chishti:

- removed repeated wikilink

- added {{fact}} to story that claims he lifted a horse and threw him down

- removed confusing "in the life of his father" text

- replaced references to him as just "Hazrat" (which is an honorific) with his name

Syed Shah Nezamuddin Chishti Monami:

- removed link as per wp:overlink

- many small prose/grammar fixes

- {{fact}} tags added

- three sons, full names, "and a daughter" full stop?? Where's her name??!

Shah Hussainuddin Safi:

- overlinks removed

- prose adjustments for better grammar

- larger grammar fixes "Only after the death of his first wife he married again He had few kids but all died as infants." repaired!

- added 2 missing wikilinks, the article refers to them as great Islamic personalities, if they aren't, please delete the wikilinks

Shah Hesamuddin Chishti:

- removed as per overlink

- minor grammar fixes only

Amir-ul-Mashaiq:

- redundant prose trimming

- **EXPERT NEEDED HERE!** I was unable to make sense of this sentence "On the 3rd of February 2012 his eldest son,Faqr-e-ulema Alhaaj Maulana Syed Mohammed Sabahuddin Chishti has been throned to the seat of hermit in a very elegant and traditional way amid a strong assemblage of various Sajjada nashins of Khanqah of Bihar, Jhakhand and from other adjoining states" and so I removed it

- All the sons are named, some of their names are half a line of text each, and then there's this: "He also had eight daughters.

", that's a bit of a strange construct in english, I get that they weren't important to the lineage, that doesn't mean they should just be tossed in as an afterthought either

- major prose touch-ups, I think that's what these sentences are saying, very tough to understand...

Disciples:

- removed wikilinks

- removed speculation sentence, starting with "one can easily imagine..."

- minor prose fixes for readability

Syed Shah Qazi Mazahir Imam:

- minor prose fixes for readability

Syed Shah Nudrat Hussain Burdawani :

- removed overlinks

- readability prose fixes

Other notable Sufis :

- caps fixes for "sufi"

- removed overlinks (lots)

- prose fixes for list explanation

References:

- removed blog, it only repeats what's in the article already

- Are these books? are they used as reference in the article? Where? This section needs to be re-written, citing the books as per WP:MOS, I would do it, if I had any idea where I could find these books and see what they said, I suspect they are spread out throughout the article, this still needs fixing, as it is, even with these books, this article is unreferenced. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Despayre (talk • contribs) 02:20, 28 March 2012 (UTC)

Note to editors here: this article seems to give about half it's dates in the Islamic calendar, and half in the usual Roman calendar, it would be best if this was standardized across the article.

Done! --^Despay_re (^tal_k) 02:11, 28 March 2012 (UTC)

copyedit, additional stuff

Wasn't so much translation as just googling the word to be honest, I did the ones I could, and another look suggests I missed linking Sulook in the Spiritual history section and adding (shrine) after Khanquah in the bio section, so you could add those if you like, and I believe that just leaves "Khilafat" and "Khilafat-o-Ijazat", which I'm not sure about, Khilafat Movement doesn't seem relevant, maybe something to do with Caliphate or Khalifatul Masih--Jac16888 ^Talk 15:43, 27 March 2012 (UTC)

(moved from user talk page so I don't forget this stuff, if that's not ok with Jac, please delete) --^Despay_re (^tal_k) 17:13, 27 March 2012 (UTC)