Talk:Blackwyche

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Blackwyche/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Juhachi (talk · contribs) 22:19, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Infobox

• If the maximum width of File:Blackwyche title.png is 217px, then it shouldn't be stretched to 250px in the infobox.

• Done JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• This image also needs an updated FUR using {{Non-free use rationale video game cover}}.

• Forgot to add this, done JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• The image caption says "Commodore 64 cover art", but seeing as how the game does not appear to have been released for any other system, it should probably just be "Cover art".

• Removed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Lead

• Link galley.

• Replaced with galleon JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "runs from Ultimate's Filmation engine which was previously" -- place a comma between engine and which

• Done JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "The game's setting and graphics was heavily inspired" --> The game's setting and graphics were heavily inspired

• Done JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "It was by followed a final instalment" --> It was followed by a final installment

• Instalment with one 'L' is British English. Weird, almost nobody knows! JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Gameplay

• "and is set on board a haunted galleon" -- You used galley in the lead and now use galleon here; please stick with one or the other for consistency.

• Used galleon throughout JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "and a magic sword in order to" --> and a magic sword to

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "The player begins the game with full energy and will slowly deplete every time the player is hit by an enemy." -- This sentence is confusing. I think instead of "slowly" you meant something like "slightly", since slowly implies that it is an ongoing action. If so, the sentence should read something like, "The player begins the game with full energy, which will decrease slightly every time the player is hit by an enemy."

• I see why that sounded confusing. I've changed "slowly" with "slightly" JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "which once all segments are picked up will form a complete view of the game's overworld." --> which will form a complete view of the game's overworld once all the segments are picked up.

• Thanks, fixed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Development

• "The company were known for their reluctance" --> The company was known for their reluctance

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "one team would work on graphics whilst the other would" --> one team would work on graphics, while the other would

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "despite the limitations platforms such as the ZX Spectrum and Commodore 64 offered" -- I would rewrite this sentence to something like "despite the limitations with platforms such as the ZX Spectrum and Commodore 64."
• "£5000" --> {{GBP|5,000|link=yes}}

• Added JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• Does Calisto Software need to be linked?

• Probably not, I don't think it's notable enough for it's own article. Removed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• He later began working for the company in producing video games however he quit due to the strain of his daily 68 miles (109 km) commute." --> "Although he began working for Calisto Software in producing video games, he later quit due to the strain of his daily, {{convert|68|mi|abbr=on}} commute."

• Thanks, I've changed this JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "The graphics of the game were designed by Bob Thomas whereas the code was written by Dave Thomas." -- Place a comma between Thomas and whereas.

• Added JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "once a game was complete it would be sent to" -- Place a comma between complete and it.

• Added JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Reception

• "stated that he had trouble which section of the game he was on due to the similarities of all colours" --> stated that he had trouble determining which section of the game he was on due to the similarities of all the colours".

• Added, thanks JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "stating the sprites to be "awful", animation as "crummy" with little or no range of colouring." --> stating the sprites to be "awful", and animation as "crummy" with little or no range of colouring.

• Rephrased JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "Harding opinionated the game to be "miles better" than its predecessor whereas Cooke" -- Place a comma between predecessor and whereas.

• Added JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

References

• Change the accessdate in ref 6 to the dmy format used in the rest of the article.

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Additional comments

Overall, it's a pretty well written article, and once the changes above have been implemented, I believe it'll be ready for GA.--十八 22:19, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

@Juhachi: thank you for the review! I think I've addressed everything, if you can take a look? "Instalment" is British spelling and I've updated the gameplay screenshot's FUR. Which reminds me, I should get updating the rest that I have uploaded. This was a fun article to write about, seeing as there was a lot of information on development. JAGUAR  14:28, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Good work, but the FUR update was for the infobox image, not the screenshot, and you can only use {{Non-free use rationale video game cover}} for box/cover art. I've seen screenshots use {{Non-free use rationale}} or {{Non-free use rationale 2}} like you had before. I just went ahead and did them both, but look out for this in the future. I believe that's everything, so I'll pass this for GA.--十八 20:15, 16 September 2015 (UTC)