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Talk:Bleed Like Me/GA1

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Latest comment: 11 years ago by IndianBio in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 11 years ago17 comments5 people in discussion
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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 13:18, 26 March 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comment I was going to pick this review up, if IB hadn't beaten me to it! The only point I'd raise for the moment is that the date is in a US format, which looks odd for a British Group. The correct date format for this should be "11 April 2005", not "April 11, 2005". Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 04:49, 5 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Good catch. Starting review. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 07:30, 5 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Only 1\4 of Garbage is British, don't think it's that much of a deal... igordebraga ≠ 19:18, 8 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Lead and infobox
  • Except for Smar studios, why are the other studio names in small font in the infobox?
    • Smart was the primary location (most are the bandmembers' home studios), where mixing .
  • It was released in April 2005 by Warner Bros. imprint A&E Records internationally --> what is internationally here? For someone in US, the european countries and Asian markets are international, but the converse is also true. So rephrase this.
  • The album went for a straighter rock sound reminiscent of Garbage's live performances instead of the electronica that permeated predecessor Beautiful Garbage  The album went for a straighter rock sound reminiscent of Garbage's live performances, instead of the electronica (wikilink) that permeated predecessor Beautiful Garbage (give the year in braces).
  • The first recording sessions in March 2003 were mostly unproductive due to passive aggression between band members Duke Erikson, Shirley Manson, Steve Marker and Butch Vig, and a general lack of direction for the record --> Too long needs rephrasing. Try “The first recording sessions for Bleed Like Me took place in March 2003. But they were mostly unproductive due to passive aggression between band members Duke Erikson, Shirley Manson, Steve Marker and Butch Vig, as well as a general lack of direction for the record”
  • As Garbage struggled to create the album, in October 2003 the band quietly split for four months.  As Garbage struggled to create the album, the band quietly split for four months from October 2003.
  • After reuniting under producer John King in Los Angeles studio and a guest appearance from ex-Nirvana drummer and current Foo Fighters frontmanDave Grohl on "Bad Boyfriend"  They reunited under producer John King in Los Angeles studio and was followed by a guest appearance from ex-Nirvana drummer and current Foo Fighters frontmanDave Grohl on the song "Bad Boyfriend".
  • the band reformed with renewed focus, recruiting drummer Matt Walker and bassist Justin Meldal-Johnsen for the new recordings, completed by the end of 2004.  The band had renewed focus and recruited drummer Matt Walker and bassist Justin Meldal-Johnsen. They refromed and started the leftover recordings, completing by the end of 2004.
  • Reviews were mixed to positive, praising the new sound but finding the album inconsistent and at times outdated.  Reviews were mixed to positive, with critics praising the new sound but finding the album inconsistent and at times outdated.
Background
  • The band regrouped to perform "Pride (In the Name of Love)" at a MusiCares tribute to U2 frontman Bono, and almost immediately after returned to their Madison, Wisconsin recording studio to begin writing their follow-up record. Garbage had already completed some groundworks sessions over two weeks of the previous August --> Bad prose. "The band regrouped to perform "Pride (In the Name of Love)" at a MusiCares tribute to U2 frontman Bono. Immediately after the event, they returned to their Madison, Wisconsin recording studio to begin writing their follow-up record. Garbage had already completed some groundworks sessions for two weeks in August"
Recording
  • The first day of studio time in March 2003 saw Garbage compose a new track, "Right Between the Eyes" in thirty minutes --> The first sday in the studio saw Garbage....
  • "Hangin' With The Bitches --> "Hangin' with the Bitches (Wiki MOS)
  • Vig also ran into Foo Fighters frontman and ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl in a party, and asked him casually if he would mind drumming on a Garbage track, "Bad Boyfriend", to which Vig had been frustrated with the drum track --> Rephrase making no sense.
  • Recording for the album was halted during the summer when Manson underwent surgery to remove a cyst on her right vocal cord. Manson had to recuperate until August --> Join them together
  • Due to rising tension within the band and a breakdown in communication, by the end of October the band suffered "a complete and utter band meltdown". ---> There is no mention of what the tension was and why there were breakdowns
  • Song names should follow wiki standards, please donot capitalize "the"
  • Vig declaring that "he sort of brought a different energy level to the song, and then in turn Duke and Steve really upped the ante on their guitar playing which set the bar for a lot of the songs that followed. We wanted to get more scrappy and primal sounding --> rephrase to passive voice, too much quotes
  • so we played fast and furious - as if our lives depended on it --> so we played fast and furious – as if our lives depended on it

Okay I'm stopping here. Can you please get a copy edit of the prose of the article? I'm going through each and every line finding issues, which should not be there for GA level. I know GA prose standards are lower than FA, but come'on, each and every line cannot be pointed out. I'm giving you 7 days to polish the prose. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 07:28, 6 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Did what you requested (except the one if I asked if needs a rearrangement). Will see if I get outside help if you're not willing to continue the spot check. igordebraga ≠ 00:50, 9 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Yes, it is extremely cumbersome to change and enlist each and every line in the prose as having problems. You should get someone to copy-edit it pronto because I really don't wanna quick fail it. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 08:03, 9 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Can you see if things are still needing outside help? Two users took a look at the article. igordebraga ≠ 21:51, 14 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

It still needs more cleaning up of the prose and more copy-edit and a general restruccture, those tracklisting in between the prose is really distracting and makes it look like the article ends there. Any tables and columns and charts all come at the end of the article. Check existing FAs on albums. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 08:06, 17 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Igor I think I have given enough time, an I don't think you would be able to turn around the article. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 14:21, 23 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
The problem is the involvements of third parties... can you please check other things other than the prose? igordebraga ≠ 17:53, 23 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Stray comment by Cirt
  1. Content - looks like some broken formatting at the bottom of this sect?
  2. Track listing - might be a better idea to set this to collapsed=yes, and that way give the option to the reader and make it a bit more compact?
  3. Track listing - also, appears to be some broken formatting at the bottom of this sect as well?
  4. Release history - I really like the tabular presentation of this information here. :)
  5. Personnel - this sect should probably be moved up a little bit higher on the page?

— Cirt (talk) 00:31, 27 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Question

Well, IndianBio wanted an outsider copyediting the article before raising other issues, and no one appeared so far. Could you help? igordebraga ≠ 22:39, 7 May 2013 (UTC)Reply

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