Talk:Bury a Friend/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:52, 24 January 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

So we meet again Cartoon network freak, should be good to take on this massive article! --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:52, 24 January 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Mention the CD release somewhere in the body since you use that cover in the box

Not needed to be done anymore since the cover isn't used. Plus it was a promotional CD which is hard to be sourced.

• "It was released as" → "It was released by Darkroom and Interscope Records as"
• "from her debut studio album" → "from Eilish's debut studio album"
• Add release year of the album in brackets
• "on January 30, 2019, and" → "on January 30, and" since this will specific it is 2019 especially with the following prose
• "to American alternative radio on February 19, 2019 by Darkroom and Interscope Records" → "to American alternative radio stations on February 19, 2019 through the aforementioned labels" and are you sure it shouldn't be US alternative radio?

Isn't it exactly the same? I was told US shouldn't be really used... (?)

• "co-wrote "Bury a Friend", with" → "co-wrote the song, with"
• "producing it" → "solely producing it"
• Wikilink hip hop to Hip hop music
• "beats, percussion and" → "beats, percussion, and"
• "Upon its release," → "Upon release,"
• "generally received positive reviews" → "received generally positive reviews"
• "It was also likened" → "The song was also likened"
• ""Bury a Friend" attained commercial success, reaching" → "It attained commercial success, including reaching"
• "It further peaked within the top 10" → "The song further peaked within the top ten"
• You sure that different countries shouldn't be mentioned, like the ones it charted higher than six instead of UK?

Rewritten parts of the sentence; check it out...

• "which was uploaded onto" → "which was uploaded to"
• "at the same time as the single's digital release" → "at the same time as the song's release"
• Maybe Crooks vocals should be mentioned earlier in the lead?

His vocals in the song aren't really that notable. It's maybe two words he says during the entire song. The focus should be more on his video appearance, and I think it's a perfect opportunity to also mention his vocals here.

Background and development

• Img needs alt text
• "Billie Eilish formally announced her debut album titled When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" → "Eilish formally announced the release of When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" with the wikilinks removed
• "further posted a 16-second teaser" → "further posted a 16-second teaser of the song"
• Mention the release being digital download, streaming or all two if it was both? State it was through the labels too

I figured out this is untrue information. The song is now (after the album's release) available for streaming and digital download, but in fact no source tells us how it was released back in January. I removed the formats alltogether. But the eventual radio release is sourced, and the labels are also included there, hence this can stay.

• "to discuss on the track" → "to discuss the track"
• "alternative radio on" → "alternative radio stations on" and are you sure it shouldn't be US alternative radio?

see lead

• "by Darkroom and Interscope Records" → "by the aforementioned labels"

see above

• "It was mastered by" → "The song was mastered by" since you just mentioned production
• Remove wikilink on Chicago as it's too obvious
• "and her brother visited" sure it shouldn't be "and her brother were visiting" depending on the context?

Yes, this was my mistake

• "and Eilish drew a black monster" → "with Eilish drawing a black monster"
• Sure Calvin's real name is notable?

He used that name back then and changed it since. I would leave it here.

• "sent her a phone recording" → "sent Eilish a phone recording"
• "as he repeatedly tagged" → "due to him repeatedly tagging"
• Sure acquaintance is the correct term here?

I think so.

Final comments and verdict

• I hate to do this since it's not the nominators fault, but the edit warring currently happening under the infobox means that I have to ✗ Fail this article under the criteria that states a fail has to happen under such warring. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:57, 25 January 2020 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: Hey. I have solved your comments, unless stated. I think the battle around the cover has been settled, which means we could go on with the review if you want to. All the best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:14, 9 February 2020 (UTC)

@Cartoon network freak: Forgot to tell you the other day but I was going to say it's too late for me to reopen the review now and nominate this article again. I see you have already renominated it; I may get round to reviewing depending on if I have the time. --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:24, 11 February 2020 (UTC)