Talk:Carl Etelman

Latest comment: 2 years ago by PCN02WPS in topic GA Review

Did you know nomination

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk00:47, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

  • ... that in his final collegiate game, Tufts University football player Carl Etelman kicked a field goal with a broken ankle? Source: Thomas, Buddy (February 6, 2004). "Looking Back: Carl Etelman, unstoppable force". The Standard-Times. ("Nobody gave his leg a thump until the final game of the season. It was a hard enough thump to break the same ankle again. But Etelman refused to leave the game and two plays later he successfully drop-kicked a 40-yard field goal before being carried off the field.")

Created by BeanieFan11 (talk). Self-nominated at 23:01, 31 December 2021 (UTC).Reply

  • New enough, long enough. Hook is interesting, but I cant see the "game-winning" in the sources. (They also disagree on 40 versus 48 yards). Doesn't smell like copyvio, but I can't seem to be able to check Earwig right now. Looks reasonably well cited, but you could try to combine some of the multiple citations to the same source. QPQ has been done. Should be good to go once the "game winning" issue is sorted one way or another.  Kusma (talk) 12:52, 1 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Carl Etelman/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 01:44, 24 July 2022 (UTC)Reply


Hi there, I'll review this article. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 01:44, 24 July 2022 (UTC)Reply

Comments are below, I'll do another pass through and look at sources once these are resolved. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 02:27, 24 July 2022 (UTC)Reply

Lead and infobox

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Early life and education

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  • "He attended Fairhaven High School and Academy, graduating in 1920" → switches from past tense to present tense after the comma
  • "He was team captain as a senior, playing the quarterback position in football" → he is stated as a team captain and then the sport is named, so I'd switch this order ("In football, he was a team captain as a senior and played the quarterback position" or something similar)
  • "eventually fought his way into the end zone" → link End zone
  • "He collapsed onto the field after reaching the goal line" → link Goal line (gridiron football)
  • "that he fractured his ankle and injured his collarbone" → wouldn't hurt to link Ankle fracture and clavicle here, I suppose
  • This might boil down to personal opinion, but I feel the Woodard quote is a bit long and doesn't need to be reproduced here in its entirety. I think it would read much better if it was integrated into the prose as some of the quotes beforehand are, or at least shortened a bit. The second paragraph isn't needed at all IMO since you describe that incident in prose the paragraph prior.
  • "but stayed in the game and two plays later kicked a 40-yard field goal and was carried off the field" → fine content-wise but a little repetitive (emphasis is mine), perhaps reword the last bit to say "...but stayed in the game and kicked a 40-yard field goal two plays later, after which he was carried off the field" or something similar.

Professional career

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  • Whitman High School can be linked again here since this is the first mention in the article's body
  • "Etelman's play was described as, "the game's feature."" → comma after "as" is unneeded
  • "He wore number 14 with the Steam Roller" → uncited; just use the same footnote again as the previous sentence since that information comes from the Pro FB Reference page

Coaching career

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  • "of the 1934 season, and since then. Whitman has gone unbeaten and untied" → period after "then" should be a comma per the source
  • "turning many a seeming defeat into a victory with his skill and daring" → this quote is also used in the previous section, I think it would be best to use it only once, or at least to use it only once as a direct quotation

Personal life and death

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.