Talk:Delorentos
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A line without a source
editMoved from article: "Bands that have supported Delorentos include: The Immediate, The Flaws, Fight Like Apes, Ham Sandwich, Messiah J and the Expert, Super Extra Bonus Party, The Kinetics and Director." --Candlewicke ST # :) 16:28, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
GA Review
edit- This review is transcluded from Talk:Delorentos/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Hey, it's Garden here. This will be my first GA review for about a year, so apologies in advance if I get it wrong. I'll leave you the arbitrary seven days but as you've been waiting so long for this review (hell, you've probably forgotten who this band are :P ) I'm more than willing to adjust. Nice work so far though. GARDEN 21:22, 25 March 2009 (UTC)
- Nice work, I'm happy to pass this now. Well done! GARDEN 22:27, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
Overall
edit- The headings look pretty POV to me. Perhaps "In Love with Detail" instead of "Further success"?
- Discography - this table requires mdashes to show there was no placement in the charts
- Quite a lot of commas missing
- Watch ref placement, i.e. [2][5] rather than [5][2]
Lead
edit- They consist of... - I presume you mean consisted
- Two EPs were also released - maybe best to explain what an EP is with a long name and a link for the fist mention
- hit singles - a bit POV?
- support slots - link please?
- Before their demise - sorry, did they die or something? :P
- Then on 17 February 2009 - needs a reword or a comma, perhaps "However, on 17 February 2009", linking from the previous sentence.
Career
editEarly career
edit- The four members of Delorentos were each in different bands before - Doesn't read well, perhaps try Each of the band members were in bands prior to Delorentos or something. Also, and this might be impossible I know, a source might be nice. Not essential though
- from an older band which a couple of them were in - reads informally
- This section is bloomin' hard to make any sense of. Try to group band member histories together in order to reduce the name spaghetti.
- in the early days - when?
Breakthrough
edit- The EP - very ambiguous, try Their first release, the EP or similar
- gathered some cash - again, informal
- straight to #1 - try number one per MOSNUM (somewhere)
- annual Other Voices music show - argh! The refs aren't in order! This happens quite a lot in this section. (that's a pet peeve, address if you like, I'm not that bothered :P)
- #14 - again, perhaps should be number fourteen
- As part of their prize they - needs a comma, As part of their prize, they. Looking at the rest of this section there should be several commas that have been missed
- U.S. dates - should be US dates
Further success
edit- I've already moaned about this heading, I think
- #7 - more MOSNUM issues :P
- #34 - That's correct, in case you think I'm going to say that for every number
- a couple of dates - should really be two dates or several dates
- The Irish Times noted their performance - already linked only two sentences previous
- was selected by The Irish Times as the best by an Irish act at the event - reads quite poorly
- by informing the reader that - perhaps a reword necessary?
Split
edit- “these are strange times - why the weird speech marks?
- neighbours - did they live next door? Or are they fellow Dubliners?
- This "gig or two" - used twice in succession it looks informal
- blogger UnaRocks, John Walshe of State, Jonnie Craig and others - are all of these notable enough to mention?
Style and influences/Awards
edit- catchy guitar sound - is there a NPOV way of saying this?
- attractive isn't NPOV :P I'll have a gander though.
- the band's set - Erm, what's a set? A setlist?
Future improvements
edit- PHOTOS - although I'm sure you thought of that.
- Can't really think of anything else. I'm sure you'll improve it in ways I'll never think of :P GARDEN 22:27, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
Unsourced content moved from article
editDelorentos also have a Racehorse named after them (called "Delorento" and trained by John Joseph Hanlon) and a character in the AMA/Longtail studio Mobile game "Hollywood Hustle" ("Stephano DeLorento").i
+ Delorentos have also had their songs used in many TV shows, including during Irish shows such as Paisean Faisean, Aifric and RTE sports shows The Sunday Game and Premier Soccer Saturday as well US TV shows, Notably Fox's Dollhouse. --candle•wicke 01:54, 10 April 2009 (UTC)
Pronunciation Guide
editDolrowhonow?TheThomas (talk) 22:44, 30 May 2012 (UTC)
External links modified
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