Talk:Erik Chisholm
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Fair use rationale for Image:Chisholmdog.jpg
editImage:Chisholmdog.jpg is being used on this article. I notice the image page specifies that the image is being used under fair use but there is no explanation or rationale as to why its use in this Wikipedia article constitutes fair use. In addition to the boilerplate fair use template, you must also write out on the image description page a specific explanation or rationale for why using this image in each article is consistent with fair use.
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Fair use rationale for Image:Erikchisholm.jpg
editImage:Erikchisholm.jpg is being used on this article. I notice the image page specifies that the image is being used under fair use but there is no explanation or rationale as to why its use in this Wikipedia article constitutes fair use. In addition to the boilerplate fair use template, you must also write out on the image description page a specific explanation or rationale for why using this image in each article is consistent with fair use.
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Request for assessment at WP:SCO
editThe excellent Mr. Chisolm was previously unknown to me and I am afraid I can't offer much by way of guidance on his Scottish years. In any case they seem to me to be covered in some detail. My sole source of information on this subject is Keay, J. & Keay, J. (1994) Collins Encyclopaedia of Scotland. London. HarperCollins. The information provided is quite short but contains these facts and opinions:
- "much of his music, including his charming settings of his wife Lillian Scott's poems, is at its most expressive in small lyric and dance forms."
- he "was responsible for the first public performances of over 200 new works, including Sorabji's gigantic Opus Clavicembalisticum, dedicated to Hugh MacDiarmid".
Here are a few stylistic suggestions. It is a fine piece of work, but for it to be a credible WP:GAC the following need attention.
There are far too few in-line citations for a GA. Ideally almost anything that could be challenged should be have a reference. The existing citations should all quote a title and publisher and publication date if available. In the case of a web reference, all should have a retrieval date. See here for some examples.
I am not very familiar with articles about music, but in general lists should be avoided. I would suggest moving the existing 'discography' to a separate list, and retaining a para or two stating what the most important or interesting works are in prose style with a suitable link to the list (perhaps using a {main} or a
tag).
WP:MOS would like you to re-name the References section as 'Notes', and the Sources section as 'References'. The same stylistic issues apply to your existing 'Sources' as suggested for the citations above.
When you have done everything else to your satisfaction, fix the opening para per WP:LEAD. Essentially, there should be a mention of a key fact from each major section and anything in the lead should be enlarged on later.
A few small points:
- "it was for him Sorabji deigned to perform his Opus Clavicembalisticum". An example of something in the lead not expanded on. 'Deigned' is an interesting word in this context and I was disappointed not to read more.
- "Chisholm did not support the current South African policy of Apartheid." No capital A needed.
'Erik' is an unusual spelling. Did he have Scandinavian antecedents perhaps? Ben MacDuiTalk/Walk 12:05, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you for all the ideas and will get to work on this article in earnest soon. --Cazo3788 (talk) 15:35, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
- However, I disagree with you on one point - Apartheid is spelt with a capital A (as a South African I know).--Cazo3788 (talk) 20:24, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
GA Review
editThis review is transcluded from Talk:Erik Chisholm/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review. GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Review by Epicadam (talk) 22:36, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- B. MoS compliance:
- Punctuation needs to appear inside quotation marks, (i.e., "The cow jumped over the moon." not "The cow jumped over the moon".) The only exception is for parenthetical references (see below).
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- Many sources are unavailable. Please check your links and make sure that they are still active. If possible, sources that are not contained within for-profit databases should be used.
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- Need more in-line citations for facts. Nearly entire paragraphs go without citations in sections 2, 3, and 4. If the information came from one of the sources listed as a "reference," then at least provide a parenthetical reference so we know where that information came from, though citations are definitely preferred. For example, "His services to Czech music were recognized formally in 1956, when he was awarded the Dvořák medal" (Saunders, p. 509).
- C. No original research:
- I doubt there is a great deal of OR, but until sources are provided, readers can't be sure where the information came from.
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- Explain why the pieces selected for description in the "Works" section are important. For example, "He also made several interesting arrangements, including a string orchestra version of Alkan's Symphonie Op 39, a composer still largely unknown at that time, and Paderewski's Theme Varié, arranged for two pianos." Okay. But why are they interesting/important? Did Alkan's Symphonie Op 39 become uniquely famous? Is writing an arrangement to be played by two pianos unusual for this style and time?
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- Much of the work has been completed very recently by a single user. Not yet stable.
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Well-done article but not quite ready for GA status. Will place on hold.
- Pass or Fail:
- Thanks for your comments and have checked the references which I hadn't realised were now unavailable. But I would like to know how I can interest anyone else to collaborate on this article with me. I wrote the bulk of this article in August last year but so far nobody else has been interested and willing to contribute. Thanks again for your comments. --Cazo3788 (talk) 13:03, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- On the review comments, WP:MOS#Quotation marks actaully says that punctuation should only go inside the quote marks if it present in the original text. On collaboration/sourcing, I note that neither Grove's Dictionary of Music nor the ODNB are currently used as refs. If you drop me an email, I shouls be able to send you a link to the relevant articles which will allow you access for a few days (both are available to subscribers, including most UK/Irish local library members). David Underdown (talk) 14:59, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I have gone through and made some additional copy edit changes. The only main problems with the piece are this... the article says that "Some of his pieces were published during his childhood." which ones?? and at how old? that's really interesting info.
- The article also says... "While in Asia, he formed a multi-racial orchestra in India and founded the Singapore Symphony Orchestra as well. Chisholm married his second wife, Lillias, the daughter of Scottish composer Francis George Scott." When (what year) did he marry his second wife? What's the name of the orchestra in India and what dates were they founded? Also the entire paragraph needs a citation!
- Great work. Hopefully with this few changes, everything will be perfect for GA status. Best, Epicadam (talk) 20:44, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
- I'm afraid your questions can only be answered once his official biography is published next year. Have got the founding date for the Singapore orchestra but not that in India. Also no date for marriage on internet scources. No website details which of his works were published. The articles on the web analyse his music, not his personal life. But have added some more citations to necessary paragraphs. Thanks, --Cazo3788 (talk) 09:16, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
- Ah, okay. Well then, given the information available, I think this article is a well-rounded and informative article and qualifies to be granted GA status. Best, -Epicadam (talk) 01:04, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Schooling
editThe article states that "he had not graduated primary school" but nobody "graduates" primary school in Scotland. If as mentioned above in the article he left at 13 is "did not complete secondary school" intended? Mutt Lunker (talk) 11:50, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
External links modified
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Assessment comment
editThe comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:Erik Chisholm/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.
Comments on talk page. Ben MacDuiTalk/Walk 12:06, 16 March 2008 (UTC) |
Last edited at 12:06, 16 March 2008 (UTC). Substituted at 14:37, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
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