Talk:Fortifications of Mycenae

Contested deletion

This page should not be speedily deleted because... (your reason here) --Jafleury (talk) 20:59, 18 October 2017 (UTC) I intend to add to this page for a final project in my class that will contribute to a final group project on Warfare in ancient Greek Art and Archeology and I intend to add resources and mark them,

• Hi Jafleury you moved it to the main public namespace visible and searchable to all, you should have continued to work on it in your sandbox or the draft namespace until ready. Maybe move it back or it will be deleted. Regards KylieTastic (talk) 21:10, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Thank you Kylie, do you know how I move it back to my sandbox? Once I moved it I realized I moved it too soon. How do I move this information back to my sandbox? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jafleury (talk • contribs) 21:33, 18 October 2017 (UTC) KylieTastic I moved my information back to my sandbox however, if you have any information as to delete the page I accidentally moved please let me know. Thank you so much for your help. Jafleury (talk) 22:03, 18 October 2017 (UTC)Jafleury

Peer edit- fortifications at mycenae

First things first-- try to put the intro paragraph as a heading section (called a Page Title on the formatting drop down menu) so that it's always at the top of the page and doesn't look like just another paragraph. Second, I believe (but might be wrong) that we don't want to use sentences like "for the final project this topic will contribute to how to the topic of warfare in ancient " etc. because were this to be a final, published wikipedia article, most readers wouldn't know what project you're talking about. Perhaps try to fold that into the overall theme of the page but mentioning how fortifications were built because there was a great deal of warfare or unrest at the time, or something like that. Allude to the greater topic of warfare in ancient Greece without explicitly saying that it's the theme of the project as a whole. Lastly, try to clean up a bit of the sentence structure, at times it is a bit awkward, eg. "With then entire Citadel up on a cliff, providing sanctuary for the upper class that lives there and the lower class farmers that can retreat to the fortifications during times of war." is a run on sentence (I think, I'm not a grammar expert). It should be something more like "By building the Citadel on a cliff, the designers provided sanctuary for the upper class that lived there and allowed lower class farmers in the surrounding areas to flee to the Citadel during times of war." There's a few typos here and there as well, a quick once-over should get rid of those. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Tmhaycraft (talk • contribs) 03:00, 2 November 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Prof. Paga

Hi Jessica - this is a good start to your article! You've got some helpful comments already from your peer-reviewer, and here are a few of my own suggestions for improving your article.

• Make sure to integrate more citations throughout. For instance, you say that the fortifications functioned as a type of competition - this needs a citation.
  
• You say that fortifications around Mycenaean cities are rare, but this is false. They are relatively common. It's Minoan cities that rarely have fortifications.
  
• A couple typos and grammatical errors (ex: "addition" instead of "edition" / archAeologists not archeologists).
  
• The Hittites are a people, it's not a place.
  
• In the section on the Lion Gate, you say that it is "smaller" -- smaller than what? Many people could still fit through it at one time (more than just 1-2), so it is large and monumental, but like any gate, it will restrict access.
  

Jpaga (talk) 20:03, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

Review

Hi Jessica!

This looks like a great article so far! One fortification that I know about which you may want to consider talking about in your article is the cistern near the megaron of Mycenae. It would have been used to provide water to the city and it's source was a spring, so it would constantly re-fill itself! Also, I see that you're missing a citation for your last sentence in the Citadel Walls section, and for your statement saying that Mycenaean people displayed lions in times of battle.

My sandbox is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rob6820/sandbox and you can move your sandbox with the little "move" tool near the Wikipedia search bar.

Keep up the good work! Robert Y. Rob6820 (talk) 01:47, 30 November 2017 (UTC)