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Untitled
editI think i new picture is needed. That picture barely captures what he even looks like. And contains a second person.
- "when he received his second yellow card for un-existent penalty area diving"
- "Unhappily, in the 2001/02 campaign Roma finished runners-up to Juventus"
un-existent? who are you to say? penalty is...when referee blow the whistle. isn't it? a little lack of NPOV I think. Unhappily for who? for him? for you? I don't think it's so important if it's been happily or unhappily...maybe specify for who. --necronudist 16:48, 12 November 2005 (UTC)
Personal Info
editI am going to delete the section about Totti's personal life because he is not married to elton john. --smokie81 Dec. 10/05
Sorry
editI added some information about his chaildhood, personal life and additioanl information. As well as some deep information about his last season.
If i had some wrong words in spielling, please correct it for me.
- It's okay, I've corrected some mistakes and you added a lot of useful info.Burning phoneix 10:37, 20 February 2006 (UTC)
new image
editI hope you'll like the new image...
Disciplinary actions
editany reason this doesn't touch on his various bans for serious foul play? i.e. stomping on chests after being tackled? FordTuffinIt 14:07, 30 June 2006 (UTC)…
- I would guess that it has to do with the lack of articles in English that could be used as a refrence. I've looked around but haven't found much. Perhaps someone who could read Italian could find something.....Highly Calculated 05:34, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
Jimmy Wales would be spinning in his grave if he read this article
editSerious POV/style issues - as it is, the article reads more like fanboy writing than an encyclopedia entry. It would behoove editors who wrote this article to read: WP:NPOV, WP:V, WP:PEACOCK. I don't want to be uncivil, but this article is a joke. Totti is a creative attacker or midfielder that shows perfect vision and not only is he a fantastic athlete but he is renowned for his superb technique and knowledge of the game. - seriously?
So where do we start salvaging this article? Ytny 12:35, 26 July 2006 (UTC)
- If somebody can define, as you did, Takayuki Morimoto a young Ronaldo, then everything is possible!!! Totti is generally considered one of the best players in the world. If you don't agree, this doesn't allow you to put labels of infamity on this page. Are you an administrator or what? By the way Jimmy Wales is safe and sound... —Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.52.97.206 (talk • contribs)
Apples and oranges. I didn't compare Morimoto to Ronaldo; I quoted an independent and respected observer who did (and he said, as I noted, that Morimoto's size and speed made him comparable to Ronaldo, not the quality or results). Big difference. So yeah, my criticism of this article still stands.
If he is "generally considered one of the best players in the world" (which I agrew with - when did i ever say I didn't?), then how hard would it be to find a neutral, reputable observer say so? Or find some objective criteria that makes the point? Ytny 06:34, 2 August 2006 (UTC)
POV tags
editOkay, what's it going to take to get these tags off of the top of this page? I would like for Ytny to please provide us with specific areas of the text that should be fixed or you find objectionable. It just seems that nothing is being done and if you can give me specific areas to make more neutral then I can try my best, I just want those tags to be taken off of the page at some point. -KingPenguin 16:33, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
- Sorry, I should have been clearer - I tried to start the discussion above at Talk:Francesco Totti#Jimmy Wales would be spinning in his grave if he read this article. It's been a while since I went through the entire article, but the introduction definitely comes off like a fanzine, i.e. "Totti is celebrated for his powerful finish" (WP:Peacock).
- Basically, any opinion or subjective claim that is unsourced, like "beautiful" and "considered to be" need to go, and the footnote "In defense of Totti, Poulsen has developed a reputation for a dirty player." is blatantly POV. Ytny 21:30, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
- Okay, I've tried to make it more neutral, I'll let you judge the article now and remove the tags if you think it's fixed. -KingPenguin 00:36, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- What if we report that Poulsen had been recognized as a provoker? And if this line is POV, what about "Snotti"?--Kwame Nkrumah 08:37, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- In general, please mark exactly what you do not like. And, furthermore, do not revert blindly, you removed other uncontroversial edits. --Kwame Nkrumah 08:40, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- Now what did I remove that was uncontroversial? All I changed was the opening paragraph, the defense of Poulsen, and changed one line that said "an impressive number [of goals] for a midfielder", nothing else. A long time ago I also removed some of the additional information because it was redundant in the article. Totti's my favorite player, I'm just trying to end this dispute. -KingPenguin 10:42, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- I was talking to Ytny, and indented my edit accordingly (increase the indent level of one when you answer to someone, it will be clearer to whom you are answering).--Kwame Nkrumah 13:42, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- The entire topic is buggered if you ask me. There's no a single cite or reference for any of the tidbits of information. Meanwhile the whole "in Totti's defence" regarding spitting at someone. That is not a defence, nor an excuse and is blatantly POV and should be struck from the record. A few Italians whining about how he played in a certain game does not a 'dirty' player make. Not when the same accusation could be thrown back at the notorious, whining crybaby, diving, flailing armed, mucus spitting Totti.--80.194.166.68 00:24, 7 April 2007 (UTC)
- I was talking to Ytny, and indented my edit accordingly (increase the indent level of one when you answer to someone, it will be clearer to whom you are answering).--Kwame Nkrumah 13:42, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
New Image?
editWhy was the Image changed? We had a recent one with him winning the Worldcup, this new pic isnt recent at all and I dont want to ever accidently look at a males crotch while there legs are open. So new image or no? Can we have a pic of him actually on the pitch? I wanted to ask before I changed it.
- Because this image is copyright-verifiable and the last one was deleted because it infringed on copyright. If you're going to change the image then make sure either you took the photo or you have permission from someone who did or else it will be quickly deleted due to the high traffic that goes across this page. -KingPenguin 13:12, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
- At least find one that has him with short-hair, he's been gone with the long hair for a while now and it isn't an accurate representation of the current-day him. -Xatticus 0:16, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
Source for "regarded as one of the best players" statement
editProviding two references (both featuring interviews with the same person, no less) doesn't negate the point-of-view. It's still point-of-view whether the words come from Pelé's mouth or someone else's. - Dudesleeper · Talk 13:31, 11 June 2007 (UTC)
Ellipsis incorrect undid
editDear Ellipsis, i can't understand why you undid the edit about AS Roma's eleven consecutive matches record. AC Milan didn't win 11 timely consecutive matches: despite of precompiled timeline, one of the match was played some months later, because of World Championship for football teams. That's why nobody in Italy thinks about Milan as previous record owner: every books of records talks about 10 consecutive matches (referring to three teams, Bologna, Juventus and who knows...). I think that the right policy about this is joining to Italian point of view. In the same way, in 2006-2007 Inter beated Roma's record, growing up to 17 consecutive matches: if you look at precompiled timeline, you can note that these 17 matches are broken by Inter-Roma match. Actually, that match was played some time later then 17th match. In Italy, everyone refers to Inter as the team who won 17 consecutive match. Please, re-edit the page in accurate way.
- Apart from the fact that we are talking about an alleged record which lasted only a few months before being broken by Inter, Milan's series of victories in 1989-1990 is as follows, so I do not see where you are coming from. Here we have eleven victories in a row, which Roma matched and did not beat two seasons ago.
- 17a GIORNATA 30 dic 1989 MARCATORI
- Bari - Milan 0-1 Van Basten
- 18a GIORNATA 07 gen 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Cesena 3-0 Donadoni, Tassotti, Van Basten rig.
- 19a GIORNATA 14 gen 1990 MARCATORI
- Lazio - Milan 1-3 Amarildo (LA), Massaro, Fuser, Colombo (MI)
- 20a GIORNATA 17 gen 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Atalanta 3-1 Caniggia (AT), Van Basten 3 (MI)
- 21a GIORNATA 21 gen 1990 MARCATORI
- Udinese - Milan 0-2 Van Basten 2
- 22a GIORNATA 28 gen 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Genoa 1-0 Massaro
- 23a GIORNATA 04 feb 1990 MARCATORI
- Fiorentina - Milan 2-3 Baggio rig., Kubik (FI), Massaro, Van Basten 2 rig. (MI)
- 24a GIORNATA 11 feb 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Napoli 3-0 Massaro, Maldini, Van Basten
- 25a GIORNATA 18 feb 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Cremonese 2-1 Massaro, Van Basten (MI)
- 26a GIORNATA 25 feb 1990 MARCATORI
- Roma - Milan 0-4 Tempestilli aut., Van Basten 2, Massaro
- 27a GIORNATA 04 mar 1990 MARCATORI
- Milan - Ascoli 2-1 Stroppa, Tassotti (MI)
- Ellipsis4677 09:46, 21 July 2007 (UTC)
You are both wrong, in the sense that in the middle of this series Milan played against Verona (final score 0-0). That match had to be played in december 1989, but Milan was in Japan for Intercontinental Cpu. So, it is wrong to say that Milan won 11 consecutive matches, because consecutive means "one after the other" (in time, and not in match index); in the same way, it is wrong to say that one of 11 matches was post-played, because Milan-Verona was out of these eleven.
Italian Football League, following the idea that consecutive means 'consecutive in time', has never said Milan won 11 matches, neither someone else in Italy did (or maybe only some Milan supporter.... :-) ). For the correctness of this encyclopedia, it is better to follow what Italian Football League tells about the record: in this case, only AS Roma arrived to 11 consecutive matches. It is true that the record lasted only few months, but this doesn't allow us to be wrong.
In 1989-1990 Milan won 7 consecutive matches. Milan-Verona (which was planned for dicember 17th 1989) was actually played after Fiorentina-Milan and before Milan-Napoli. Until 2006, the record of 10 consecutive won matches was owned by Juventus (1931-'32, trainer Carlo Carcano), Milan (1950-'51 trainer Lajos Czeizler) and Bologna (1963-'64, trainer Fulvio Bernardini). If Ellipsis can read italian, can easily see that AS Roma is the first team to win 11 consecutive matches, ad ex. searching on Google the string "record 11 vittorie consecutive". For love of correctness, this is a sentence in the article of "Repubblica" (one of the principal italian newspaper) talking about Roma - Lazio 2-0 : "La squadra di Spalletti ha quindi stabilito il nuovo record di vittorie consecutive: undici." (which means: Spalletti's team has reached the new consecutive won matches record:eleven). So, Ellipsis, you should re-edit the article in the right way. For the future, it is important that you read the facts in a objective way, accepting that if someone change the text, that is for improve it and not for vandalism. Why didn't you analize the history of the championship in depht before undoing?
Man of the Match in the final - Euro 2000
editI have this page on my watchlist. Mind if I ask why does that personal achievment keep being removed? Udonknome (talk) 17:14, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- It has no place being listed in his "Honours" section: it's no bigger an accolade than being man-of-the-match in a Serie A game (larger stage, yes, but the accolade remains the same). It should only be mentioned in the prose (which it is), as is the case with other player articles. - Dudesleeper / Talk 19:52, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- Makes sense. Thanks. Udonknome (talk) 19:54, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
Fan Base
editHis biggest fan of all time...Dayne R. Shackle! —Preceding unsigned comment added by 24.118.73.236 (talk) 03:15, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
trequartista or attacking midfielder ?
editis he a natural trequartista or attacking midfielder ? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 203.162.3.156 (talk) 05:58, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
His natural position is as a trequartista, but at todays Roma he is more used in a free forward role. The TriZ (talk) 22:38, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
Totti against Sampdoria
editEveryone knows Totti played against Sampdoria on October 28 2008, this match was rained off after 6 mins and played another 84 mins on January 14 2009 without him. How can we count his appearance? 405 or 406? What Serie A rules about rescheduled match?
I'm Thai, sorry for my language.Tontotti (talk) 15:50, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
- Since it was stopped and then resumed on another date, it's obviously one game, so it counts as one appearance. Oh, and Totti's career section needs some kind of an update, as it's stagnated since the Coppa Italia win last year. sixtynine • spill it • 06:12, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
- Thank you. I'll change his appearances from 406 to 407 (11 to 12 in 2008/09 season). It's not an abandon match but just stop and resume in one match, the fact is Totti have played 6 mins. This problem was resolved, Raisport online counted his appearance against Sampdoria already.
- About an update, I have his information but my language is very poor, still need your help. Tontotti (talk) 05:36, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
The appearance with Sampdoria did not count, because Totti was not there in the replay game. Those are the rules of the Lega Calcio for the resumed games after an interruption. In Italy it is like that. For example the most important sport newspaper in Italy (Gazzetta dello Sport) did not count that appearance in Totti's season. The things are like this, you can check on the different Italian official websites (sport newspaper, Romafans....)--87.20.94.241 (talk) 14:44, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
- I've seen in The Lega Calcio official website in Totti's page, now today (as of 16 Feb 2009) is 14 appearances in this season, that means Lega Calcio already count 6 mins against Sampdoria for Totti, Lega Calcio count everything not only games but also minutes, Total minutes. So 6 mins can't ignore in any reason. This case Gazzetta or any website in the world should trust and follow Lega Calcio isn't it? If Gazzetta don't follow, It's not Totti's problems. Please show the external link that Lega Calcio says 13 appearances to discuss. Thank you.
About magazine-voted awards
editHow can we consider which award is a magazine-voted award or a media-voted award, suitable for footballer in wikipedia article?
Why Guerin d'Oro should remove from player's honour? I think Guerin d'Oro should include in honour because they collect real ratings from 4 medias every match, every week and calculate to a complete season to find the best player. Only present by Guerin. It's not a single magazine-voted award or give the fans, subscriber or internet users vote (ex: World Soccer magazine from UK).
Why Ballon d'Or from France Football magazine should include despite It's really a madia-voted award. Because Ballon d'Or only the most prestigious? Maybe, If we change the rules in note from "no magazine-voted" to "no single magazine-voted", it would be better? I think if award come from multi-magazine decision, it should include. What do you think about this?
Tontotti (talk) 17:36, 4 April 2009 (UTC)
i am rafi from sudan return to azzuri for us —Preceding unsigned comment added by 41.209.72.221 (talk) 10:54, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
POV introduction
editThe introduction to this article reads like a fan page and contains several errors:
- 1. Peacock language such as "universally considered as one of the greatest players of his generation and in the annals of European football". No matter how references we put, that is still not true nor encyclopedic.
- I think the words is too long, with just "regarded as one of the greatest players of his generation" is okay. Nothing more or less than references. Tontotti (talk) 03:53, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
- 2. The introduction comments exclusively on the positive sides of Totti's career. While an excellent player, he is also one of the most controversial players in Europe. The incident when he spitted on the Danish player and was suspended for several matches, and then the recent incident when he chased after Balotelli to kick him down from behind are just two cases that have resulted in negative headlines and very critical comments about Totti's character. These incidents are just as relevant as his skills with the ball.Jeppiz (talk) 18:17, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
- If anyone have a good or reliable reference sites, just edit it with encyclopedic, but in my opinion, still think his real controversial is just 2 incidents, not relevant than his 2 decades football achivement. Just my opinion. Tontotti (talk) 03:53, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
- I absolutely do not agree, how can two small isolated incidents be as relevant as his football skills? Ask yourself, for what is he famous for? Why does he have an article here in Wikipedia? The TriZ (talk) 08:33, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
- With all due respect, your language display your lack of objectivity, calling it two "small isolated" incidents. Both have made major headlines. I realise that as a fan of Totti, you want the article about him to be as positive as possible but Wikipedia is about presenting a neutral and balanced view.Jeppiz (talk) 10:51, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
- I have added more references, improved the previous links and seperated it for more clearer. Please carefully read, you could found support sentences "greatest or finest player in his generation". To be honest, I'm still think this is not a fan page, with words such as "infamy" or "infamous" in this article, no fan page have the words like these. In my opinion, I think the words "one of the most controversial players in Europe" is too harsh to put in his introduction because his really bad behavior (2 incidents) not equal his achievement both club and individual. Tontotti (talk) 20:28, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
Too many images
editDo we really need three almost identical images of Totti's back in a row? 46.9.48.25 (talk) 12:39, 22 October 2012 (UTC)
09-10 season scoring record?
editAre the numbers true?
I juz found him scored 6 goals only, why would the scoring numbers be 11?
if so, he should be named as the top scorers' list that year! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Em 88 (talk • contribs) 16:38, 30 May 2013 (UTC)
Copyright problem removed
editPrior content in this article duplicated one or more previously published sources. Copied or closely paraphrased material has been rewritten or removed and must not be restored, unless it is duly released under a compatible license. (For more information, please see "using copyrighted works from others" if you are not the copyright holder of this material, or "donating copyrighted materials" if you are.) For legal reasons, we cannot accept copyrighted text or images borrowed from other web sites or published material; such additions will be deleted. Contributors may use copyrighted publications as a source of information, but not as a source of sentences or phrases. Accordingly, the material may be rewritten, but only if it does not infringe on the copyright of the original or plagiarize from that source. Please see our guideline on non-free text for how to properly implement limited quotations of copyrighted text. Wikipedia takes copyright violations very seriously, and persistent violators will be blocked from editing. While we appreciate contributions, we must require all contributors to understand and comply with these policies. Thank you. Struway2 (talk) 17:52, 17 May 2014 (UTC)
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Francesco Totti/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 21:13, 26 July 2016 (UTC)
I'll take this one.
- Serious issues with the lead. Think it could be trimmed down to four paragraphs for a start. Per WP:LEAD, we don't normally cite sentences in the intro unless they are quotes because the lead serves as a summary; everything should be covered and cited accordingly below. The other thing is it doesn't good job summarising Totti's career, it just lists his achievements and nicknames. Nothing about his early life, how he joined Roma or when he broke into the side. Thierry Henry and Lionel Messi are probably two good examples of how to structure a lead; have a look and take some ideas on board.
- "Roma's greatest player ever," should that not be "Roma's greatest ever player"?
- "Totti is currently the top active goalscorer in Serie A", what does this mean?
- "After he
firstcame to the attention of scouts" - "his mother refused a lucrative offer from A.C. Milan so as to keep him in his home town," in order to
- Refs for 'Early seasons'?
- Not exactly keen about the '[manager] era' subheadings, think years are better
- "After three years at the youth team, Totti made his first appearance for Roma's senior side in Serie A at the age of sixteen, when coach Vujadin Boškov called him on in the 2–0 away victory against Brescia on 28 March 1993," firstly that should be 'three years in the youth team'. Secondly, 'called him on' suggests he was a sub, is that correct? If so, I'd change it to 'brought him on', if not 'named him as part of the team....'. Lastly, where's the reference to support this?
- "1995, Totti had become a regular in Roma's starting line-up and scored 16 goals during the next three seasons, and publicly praised his manager Mazzone for helping him to develop as a footballer," ref?
- "After Mazzone left Roma, Totti worked with Carlos Bianchi, and also enjoyed a short-spell with one of the most important managers in the club's history, Nils Liedholm." and again, needs ref.
- "Totti's years under Zeman..." full name needed
- "From a mental perspective, he displayed a greater responsibility for the team, and was presented with the number 10 jersey." needs ref
- "scoring as many goals as possible," tad cliche. Just state how many goals he scored
- "On 9 November 1997, he scored his first Serie A brace," what's a brace? A 'good article' should limit football lexicon where possible, for the benefit of general readers. The whole sentence needs citing.
- "He had an excellent start to the season," a tad POV. That sentence and pretty much the rest of the paragraph has no citations.
- Why did Zeman leave? I know 'comprehensiveness' isn't a big issue for the GA criteria, but context would help.
That's as far as I went reviewing. Don't think this is anywhere near GA standard unfortunately. I have serious concerns about sourcing and prose – naturally I would quick fail something like this, but I'll leave the review open to hear your response. In the meantime, I would advise you to focus on polishing the text. Go over the sources and make sure the material in the article is covered by them. Should there be no response in seven days, I'll close the review. Lemonade51 (talk) 21:13, 26 July 2016 (UTC)
Summary of fixes:
- Serious issues with the lead. Think it could be trimmed down to four paragraphs for a start. Per WP:LEAD, we don't normally cite sentences in the intro unless they are quotes because the lead serves as a summary; everything should be covered and cited accordingly below. The other thing is it doesn't good job summarising Totti's career, it just lists his achievements and nicknames. Nothing about his early life, how he joined Roma or when he broke into the side. Thierry Henry and Lionel Messi are probably two good examples of how to structure a lead; have a look and take some ideas on board.
- "Roma's greatest player ever," should that not be "Roma's greatest ever player"? Done
- "Totti is currently the top active goalscorer in Serie A", what does this mean? Done changed to: Totti is the top goalscorer amongst currently active players in Serie A
- "After he
firstcame to the attention of scouts" Done - "his mother refused a lucrative offer from A.C. Milan so as to keep him in his home town," in order to Done
- Refs for 'Early seasons'? Done
- Not exactly keen about the '[manager] era' subheadings, think years are better Done thanks to another editor
- "After three years at the youth team, Totti made his first appearance for Roma's senior side in Serie A at the age of sixteen, when coach Vujadin Boškov called him on in the 2–0 away victory against Brescia on 28 March 1993," firstly that should be 'three years in the youth team'. Secondly, 'called him on' suggests he was a sub, is that correct? If so, I'd change it to 'brought him on', if not 'named him as part of the team....'. Lastly, where's the reference to support this? Done fixed wording and another editor added refs
- "1995, Totti had become a regular in Roma's starting line-up and scored 16 goals during the next three seasons, and publicly praised his manager Mazzone for helping him to develop as a footballer," ref? Done refed and tweaked managerial praise
- "After Mazzone left Roma, Totti worked with Carlos Bianchi, and also enjoyed a short-spell with one of the most important managers in the club's history, Nils Liedholm." and again, needs ref. Done - Removed, probably not needed anyway
- "Totti's years under Zeman..." full name needed Done
- "From a mental perspective, he displayed a greater responsibility for the team, and was presented with the number 10 jersey." needs ref Done
- "scoring as many goals as possible," tad cliche. Just state how many goals he scored Done - Removed, not needed
- "On 9 November 1997, he scored his first Serie A brace," what's a brace? A 'good article' should limit football lexicon where possible, for the benefit of general readers. The whole sentence needs citing. Done - Removed, not needed
- "He had an excellent start to the season," a tad POV. Done That sentence and pretty much the rest of the paragraph has no citations.
- Why did Zeman leave? I know 'comprehensiveness' isn't a big issue for the GA criteria, but context would help. Done thanks to another editor
Fixed up the wording issues for now, still need to find more sources. To anyone who finds sources: Just add the {{done}} tag to the issue. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 01:55, 27 July 2016 (UTC)
Some more concerns:
- Again, I'm not sure why his club career is divided into 'managerial eras'. You don't see on Messi's article for instance 'Guardiola era', 'Tito era', etc.
- There are WP:WEIGHT problems throughout the article. For instance the 2004–05 season is covered by two sentences, but 2005–06, 2006–07 and so on are overdetailed and can be trimmed. The problem with player articles is striking the right balance.
- "Despite a disappointing 2004–05 season, which saw Capello leave for Juventus and Roma slip to eighth place while making four coaching changes during the course of the season, including Cesare Prandelli, Rudi Völler, Luigi Delneri and Bruno Conti, Totti maintained consistent form by scoring fifteen goals, among which was his 100th Serie A goal against Internazionale, on 3 October 2004, with a free kick from 30 metres," ridiculously long and bloated sentence. The whole paragraph is not even sourced.
- "Roma's new coach for the 2005–06 season, Luciano Spalletti, went with a 4–2–3–1 formation..." you could wikilink the formation, and likewise when other formations are introduced.
- "Despite his new attacking role, Totti would not remain forward waiting for crosses or passes from team-mates, but would rather drop deep to pick up the ball, thus creating space for the attacking midfielders and wingers to making offensive runs, to whom Totti was able to provide assists; this role would later be described as a "false-9"," another bloated sentence. No source, smacks of original research.
- "In this new position, Totti continued to score frequently, totalling 15 goals in 24 matches," is this the right word?
- "At one point during this streak, the team won 11 consecutive games." source?
- "In January 2006, on the sidelines of the World Economic Forum held in Davos, Pelé praised Totti, calling him "the best player in the world"," why is this included here? Distorts the biography and would be better place in a legacy or achievement section.
- "Totti was at risk of missing the 2006 World Cup, but returned to the side on 11 May...," 11 May 2089? 1980? Given you've written out years in other sentences, best to do the same here per WP:CONSISTENT.
- "Roma's 3–1 Coppa Italia Final defeat to Internazionale," you need to be consistent with how nerazzurro are referred to – is it Internazionale or Inter Milan?
- "Totti produced a notable goal with a left-volley shot from a very tight angle, voted the best goal of the season, and it was included in the top ten goals from incredible angles drafted by The Sun," The Sun? Not exactly considered a high-quality reliable source, nor nothing to write home about.
- "On 27 May 2007, Totti became Serie A top scorer with 26 goals" why is the date important here?
Stopped here. Pointless of me to list every unsourced statement. Despite the valiant efforts of the editors above, I'm failing this because the issues run deeper than prose and sourcing. There are problems with the article's weight, too much detail and significance given in later seasons, when it could easily be trimmed. Therefore the article's comprehensiveness is misleading. The prose is very long-winded and bloated in parts, and unfortunately I don't have the time to make copyedits. I would advise you (should you wish to have another crack) to sort out the writing. Sentences must be written in a neutral tone and it has to be clear and consistent to all readers. Go over the sources and make sure the material in the article is covered by it. Have the article run by someone here or here before making another nomination. Feel free to have this article reassessed if you think the review is wrong. Lemonade51 (talk) 16:40, 27 July 2016 (UTC)
@Lemonade51: Your concerns are valid, and they are understood. We will try to give it a good polish in the meantime. I was hoping you were going to leave this open a little longer for corrections, as you did say we had seven days above... But nonetheless, the amount of work that needs to be done is probably still too high. Regards, Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 17:48, 27 July 2016 (UTC)
- @Vaselineeeeeeee:, I meant seven days to respond. I thought at first glance this would need a few corrections here and there, but on closer inspection the problems were wide-ranging and I didn't want to turn this into a peer review. It's an OK article on a high-profile footballer, it just needs a good trim for starters. You also need to pay close attention to prose and sourcing. Once you've done that feel free to ping me, I'd happily give more pointers (if I'm not busy!). The great thing about Wikipedia is there's WP:NORUSH, especially when it comes to GA noms. This experience will undoubtedly benefit the article, and your hard work will pay off. Lemonade51 (talk) 18:06, 27 July 2016 (UTC)
Summary of fixes for future reference:
- Again, I'm not sure why his club career is divided into 'managerial eras'. You don't see on Messi's article for instance 'Guardiola era', 'Tito era', etc. Done
- There are WP:WEIGHT problems throughout the article. For instance the 2004–05 season is covered by two sentences, but 2005–06, 2006–07 and so on are overdetailed and can be trimmed. The problem with player articles is striking the right balance.
- "Despite a disappointing 2004–05 season, which saw Capello leave for Juventus and Roma slip to eighth place while making four coaching changes during the course of the season, including Cesare Prandelli, Rudi Völler, Luigi Delneri and Bruno Conti, Totti maintained consistent form by scoring fifteen goals, among which was his 100th Serie A goal against Internazionale, on 3 October 2004, with a free kick from 30 metres," ridiculously long and bloated sentence. The whole paragraph is not even sourced. Done
- "Roma's new coach for the 2005–06 season, Luciano Spalletti, went with a 4–2–3–1 formation..." you could wikilink the formation, and likewise when other formations are introduced. Done
- "Despite his new attacking role, Totti would not remain forward waiting for crosses or passes from team-mates, but would rather drop deep to pick up the ball, thus creating space for the attacking midfielders and wingers to making offensive runs, to whom Totti was able to provide assists; this role would later be described as a "false-9"," another bloated sentence. No source, smacks of original research. Done
- "In this new position, Totti continued to score frequently, totalling 15 goals in 24 matches," is this the right word? Done
- "At one point during this streak, the team won 11 consecutive games." source? Done - Removed, more for a season article
- "In January 2006, on the sidelines of the World Economic Forum held in Davos, Pelé praised Totti, calling him "the best player in the world"," why is this included here? Distorts the biography and would be better place in a legacy or achievement section. Done - Removed
- "Totti was at risk of missing the 2006 World Cup, but returned to the side on 11 May...," 11 May 2089? 1980? Given you've written out years in other sentences, best to do the same here per WP:CONSISTENT. Done
- "Roma's 3–1 Coppa Italia Final defeat to Internazionale," you need to be consistent with how nerazzurro are referred to – is it Internazionale or Inter Milan? Done
- "Totti produced a notable goal with a left-volley shot from a very tight angle, voted the best goal of the season, and it was included in the top ten goals from incredible angles drafted by The Sun," The Sun? Not exactly considered a high-quality reliable source, nor nothing to write home about. Done - Removed
- "On 27 May 2007, Totti became Serie A top scorer with 26 goals" why is the date important here? Done
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Francesco Totti/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:52, 21 November 2016 (UTC)
Will make a start on this soon! JAGUAR 16:52, 21 November 2016 (UTC)
Checking against the GA criteria
edit- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- "In 2011, Totti was recognized by IFFHS as the most popular footballer in Europe" - recognised, if you want to stay consistent with the spelling
- "In 2015, Totti's famous selfie celebration was included amongst the goal celebrations available for FIFA 16 and Pro Evolution Soccer 2016; he also took a selfie in the official trailer of the game on YouTube" - which game is this referring to?
- "From a mental perspective, he displayed a greater responsibility for the team, and was presented with the number 10 jersey" - this sounds like his mental prowess was responsible for them presenting him with the number 10 shirt?
- a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- No original research found.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- Ref 94, ref 93, ref 112, and ref 122 are all dead. Other than that, this article looks like the best one yet! The prose is excellent, comprehensive and engaging. I couldn't find anything major at all, so once all of those minor issues are out of the way this can pass. It took me a while to read all three of those articles today—I'm exhausted! JAGUAR 16:26, 23 November 2016 (UTC)
@Jaguar: Issues addressed. We cleaned it up a lot since the last review. Thanks a million! Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 16:46, 23 November 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them! This is an excellent article, so let's promote this JAGUAR 19:09, 23 November 2016 (UTC)
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Assists
editInteresting info about Totti's career assist numbers published:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC9tlZOmWXo&lc=z22gj1fg1paxzzkt1acdp43ahb5exhmerdavhsr2lw5w03c010c
https://www.chiesaditotti.com/2019/9/21/20876923/every-assist-totti-ever-made-with-roma
I am considering adding some of this to the article