Talk:Frederick Perceval, 11th Earl of Egmont/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Roc0ast3r (talk · contribs) 20:41, 9 July 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 23:57, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Will review soon. IntentionallyDense (talk) 23:57, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

@IntentionallyDense: Thanks for your review! I believe I have addressed all your comments now.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

Thanks so much. I think this article meets GA criteria now! IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:45, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

Review

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Minor prose issues highlighted below. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Spot-checked most of the sources available to me and found no issues. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	2c. it contains no original research.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	I did look for other sources but couldn't find any so I would say this article is broad enough. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC) There are some areas that I feel you could expand on which I've detailed below. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
	7. Overall assessment.	On hold until the nominator can address issues with 1a and 3a. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

Broadness

• Cecilia died two years after the birth of Perceval Is there any info on the cause of death? I feel like that would be relevant enough to include. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  • I wasn't able to find any cause of death for her. Really the only thing I was able to find was her date of death, which I added.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
• As Earl of Egmont, Perceval was entitled to sit in the House of Lords from 16 May 1932 to 11 November 1999 A brief explanation of what the House of Lords is would be appropriate here. IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  •  Done  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
• Moodie died in 1995 Is the cause of death known? IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  •  Done. News articles were quite vague on her cause, describing it as only a "lengthy" or "long illness", but I added it regardless, as well as her date of death.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
• After the approval of the House of Lords Act 1999, Perceval reportedly expressed regrets about not taking his seat in the House. What is the House of Lords Act and is there more detail given on why he had regrets? IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  • For point one: the House of Lords act is explained earlier in the text: ... when the House of Lords Act 1999 was passed, excluding all but ninety-two hereditary peers from the House. If need be though, I could make changes. For point two: I wasn't able to find much information on why he had regretted his decision. That news article is really the only mention of his regrets.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

    Thank you, I forgot about the original explanation. IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:44, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

Prose

• Wouldn't immigrated be the correct wording and not "migrated". IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  •  Done  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
• His parents had migrated to Alberta in 1900, where they bought a ranch in Priddis, Alberta, and where Perceval was raised. Is there any way you could reword this so it doesn't include two "where"s? IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Reworded.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
• He and Perceval would often do chores around the castle themselves Who is "he" in this context and who is Perceval (both have Perceval in their names). IntentionallyDense (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Reworded.  RONIN  TALK  03:42, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.