Talk:George E. Smith (gambler)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 17:26, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

I'll review this article within the next few days. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 17:26, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

Here are the concerns I found:

• "which is comparable to over $76 million in 2009 $US" We could probably use Template:Inflation for this. Not required, but might be helpful.
  • Done, I can take out the $US link if needed.Froggerlaura (talk) 22:54, 18 November 2010 (UTC)
• "George Smith's father died within a year after moving to the city" within a year of sounds better
  • Done
• "in Chicago but he eventually ran" confusing wording; reword. Do you mean he just up and moved elsewhere?
  • Done, he relocated to New York state within a couple of years because business was better there and "less corrupt." Not sure how valid that last bit was.
• Nitpicking, but in the Cadmus' section, the numbers aren't really adding up. The horse had two wins yet you say he won money from the "few victories". Keep them consistent. You also have him winning $200,000, when the numbers below don't quite add up to that.
  • Done, the press did not seem to know the exact value at the time and often quoted it as 200,000. I just tallied it to $195,000.
• "1897 ."space needs fixing
  • fixed
• "But Smith soon tired of the jockey's off-track antics," The but at the start probably isn't needed, reads better without it.
  • fixed
• "When James R. Keene asked Smith in late 1897 for permission to take Sloan to England to race in the Cambridgeshire Handicap, Smith did not refuse the offer." Saying that he accepted the offer sounds better. If he didn't really care either way though then this can be omitted, since that's what seems to be implied.
  • Done, he was pretty put-out with Sloan by that time.
• "allowed James R. Keene to employee Willie Shaw for much of the season" 'to employ' you mean?
  • Whoops, fixed that.Froggerlaura (talk) 22:54, 18 November 2010 (UTC)

I'll put this on hold for seven days, and pass upon completion/fail upon nothing being done. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:49, 18 November 2010 (UTC)

Looks good now, article passes. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 01:26, 19 November 2010 (UTC)