Talk:Gita Gutawa/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 12:52, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   The prose not ok. These are just examples from the lead:

   "is an Indonesian soprano, actress, and songwriter; she is also the daughter of noted composer Erwin Gutawa." - replace semicolon with period and remove "noted" (seems like POV)

   "Although she originally studied piano, Gutawa later switched to vocals." - reads better

   "After album featuring the duet sold 800,000 copies, " - this is odd grammar, and what album?

   "The success of that album, the self-titled Gita Gutawa, led to her receiving numerous acting and marketing job offers. " - totally redundant

   "She has recorded two albums since then" - since when? Since she received "numerous acting and marketing job offers"? Or when she released her album? This is not clear.

   "Gutawa resents what she feels is a perception that she became successful through nepotism" - I don't understand what you mean. And how is that notable to know?

   or in text below:

   "After several performances had to be canceled due to an inability to find band members at short notice, she assembled a band, made up mostly of girls her own age." - this should be definetly reworded

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Most of sources are not in English, so I don't know how reliable they are. I know The Jakarta Post is reliable, but how are the following:

   kapanlagi.com

• Entertainment news website with paid journalists. Note how articles like this have a three letter code (or codes; in this case (kpl/wwn/boo)).

1. republika.com

• Official website of Republika (Indonesian newspaper)

1. us.hot.detik.com

• Like KapanLagi.com, entertainment website with paid journalists and editorial control.

1. balipost.co.id

• Official website of the Bali Post, which we don't have an article on yet.

1. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

3. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

4. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Of course it would be nice to have a picture of Gita.

• Sadly I'm batting 0.000 on OTRS requests, so... I've asked someone who's had more success to try KapanLagi.com; the editor succeeded in getting two pictures of Agnes Monica.

1. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Thanks for taking this. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:10, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

• Dabsolver check: ok
• Checklinks check: ok
• On hold Sorry, but the prose is not very engaging, and totally not ok for GA. Please request one on WP:GOCE/REQ. I will put this on hold. Let me know if the article is copyedited.

• I'm doing the copyedit on my own for now. If it's still not up to par later, I'll contact the guild. As a side note, it seems that The Jakarta Post and other sources always use Gita to refer to her. Should we do the same? Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:25, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

• Did my copyedit. Hope it's enough. If not, let me know. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:34, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

• " This led to Gutawa's mother stepping in and serving as her manager, in which role she continued until she became pregnant with Gutawa's sister" - A woman can be pregnant from a woman?
• " This was followed by a third album, the Islamic religious album Balada Shalawat, in August 2010" - in August released, recorded? Not clear.

• Both fixed. Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:32, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

• Ok, will list it. Congrats!

• Thanks! Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:48, 6 December 2011 (UTC)