Talk:HMS Mansfield (1914)/GA1
Latest comment: 11 months ago by Zawed in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 04:40, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
I'll take a gander at this one, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 04:40, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
Sorry, it took so long to come back to this. Comments as follows:
Lead
- Inconsistent presentation: M-class, M class. Depending on which way you go with the hyphen the mention of L class may need to be amended too
- The form should be with a hyphen when an adjective and without when a noun as WP:NCS. I have amended the instance of the L class which was not right.
- on an air raid against: suggest dropping "air" here, I think this is in reference to the seaplanes involved but nonetheless does leave the reader wondering how an attacking ship could participate in an air raid.
- True. I have clarified it.
Design and development
- It seems to me an explicit identification of the set of requirements being designated M-class is needed
- The source gives little information, but I have added one of the most noticeable similarities, not least because it differentiated the L class from their predecessors.
- with another ship ordered to Yarrow's design in May 1913,: you specify the time of ordering in this instance, bit not for the others?
- The dates are a bit confusing in the sources but I have added some more to clarify.
- Speed figures are inconsistent between this section and infobox.
- Oops. Good spot.
Construction and career
- Perhaps mention the name of the sister ship here, since there were only two ships in the Hawthorn Leslie M-class
- Done.
- The shipbuilder's name is recited in full here but not on first mention in the previous section
- Amended.
- launched on 3 December the following year: doublecheck this with infobox
- Corrected the infobox.
- Vindex launched an air raid against the German Zeppelin base: because launched is used in the next sentence, suggest changing this mention. Perhaps: "Vindex transported aircraft to be used in a raid against the German Zeppelin base"?
- Amended.
Sources
- These all look reliable and I have seen most used elsewhere for other GA/A-Class articles, so no concerns
- I did spot checks on sourcing using a few of the Monograph refs; these checked out
Other stuff
- Dupe links: Hawthorn Leslie and Company, anti-submarine warfare
- Image tag check out
- The image caption should be explicit that the Minion is a sister ship to Manfield
- Changed.
That's it for me, but I did make a few tweaks to the article text as I went through. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:06, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you. Those tweaks helped a lot. I believe I have made the remaining changes you asked for. Please tell me if there is anything else. simongraham (talk) 17:28, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
- This is looking all good, so am passing as GA as I believe that this meets the necessary criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 07:44, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you. Those tweaks helped a lot. I believe I have made the remaining changes you asked for. Please tell me if there is anything else. simongraham (talk) 17:28, 23 September 2023 (UTC)