Talk:Hurricane Ignacio (1985)/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Yellow Evan in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 15:58, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Infobox says 130 mph. Did you mean 135?
- You could link 'rapidly intensified' to rapid deepening.
- If you say "As fast as it strengthened," you don't have to say it weakened just as rapidly, because you already state that.
- Re-wroded. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "Ignacio was downgraded into a tropical storm while passing south of Hawaii." When?
- "...however, the watch was dropped when Ignacio weakened. However, Ignacio still brought high waves and light rainfall to the islands." You use however twice. You should find an alternative if possible.
- Better? YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
Meteorological history
edit- "on July 21 1,623 mi (2,612 km)" I think you should add a comma after 21.
- No, but there should be a while located in here, which I added. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "Intensifying further west than normal[2]" comma before reference.
- { Done. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "Based on this, the CPHC upgraded Ignacio into hurricane status..." I think into → to
- "Continuing to rapidly intensify, Hurricane Ignacio moved west-northwest at 10 mph (16 km/h). Ignacio was upgraded into Category 2 status on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale (SSHS)." I think you could combine the two sentences, and state when Ignacio was upgraded.
- Link Hurricane Hunter
- I did already :P YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "The hurricane held peak intensity for several hours, however, an upper trough northwest of the Hawaiian Islands was gradually approaching Ignacio." If you're starting a new paragraph, a good rule of thumb is to include the time the stated fact happened, regardless of whether or not it was stated at the end of the last.
- CPHC did not say. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "a mjaor hurricane" spellcheck
- "Air Force aircraft" Whose Air Force?
- "The hurricane resumed its westerly course..." I don't see anywhere else in the MH where a different course was taken or disrupted.
- If you look at the track map, it did turn WNW for a while. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- I know but that's just the image. You should state it in the actual prose. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 16:27, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- I did, " Hurricane Ignacio moved west-northwest ". YE Pacific Hurricane 16:30, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- I know but that's just the image. You should state it in the actual prose. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 16:27, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "While passing south of the island chain..." Since this is in a new paragraph, what island chain?
- Substituted. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- Can you provide any times for the events stated in the MH?
- Added a couple. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
Preparations and impact
edit- "was lcoated northwest..." Spellcheck.
- "... track then what..." then → than
- "Bu July 24..." Bu → By
- I suggest linking high surf advisory to severe weather terminology (United States)#Coastal/Lakeshore Hazards but that's just my opinion.
- "Big Island of Hawaii[2]" Needs period.
- "the watch was cancelled as Ignacio resumed weakening..." Did it weaken beforehand? Because you use Igancio, and to me it appears Ignacio strengthened and weakened, with not much in between.
- Read the MH part where it mention slight re-intensification may have occurred. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- I know, but that was just a 'theory' and its not supported by the database. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 16:27, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- HURDAT does say it leveled off in intensity. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:30, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- I know, but that was just a 'theory' and its not supported by the database. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 16:27, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "and the Big Island" I don't think you need 'the'
- It IMO does not make sense without it. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
- "that lead to the beaches" lead → led
References and external links
edit- Would Reference #9 have any link?
- It's in cite news, so they don't need links! But, I made the title lowercase. YE Pacific Hurricane 16:22, 3 March 2013 (UTC)
That's all I have for now. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 15:58, 3 March 2013 (UTC)