Talk:Hyde United F.C./GA1
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Malleus Fatuorum in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 15:23, 30 August 2010 (UTC)
- I'm afraid that there are two major problems with this article from a GA perspective. The first and most serious is an almost complete lack of citations; Only one sentence in Early history and foundation is cited, and there are none at all in Ups and downs, Controversy, Steve Waywell and the Conference North, or Ground. The second is the quality of the writing, and I've given some examples below. I also have some concerns about the relative weight given to recent events in Hyde's history, such as their most recent match.
- Lead
- "Hyde traditionally play in red shirts and white shorts". As they've reverted to their original colours, shouldn't this be "played"? I'm not sure in what sense, if red shirts and white shorts weren't their original colours, they can be considered to be "traditional".
- "Hyde host Manchester City Reserves from the 2010/11 season for an initial three-season deal". There's a jarring clash here between the present tense of "host" and the implied past tense of "from".
- Contains seven very short paragraphs that need to be combined into three or at most four larger paragraphs.
- Ups and downs
- "Coupled with early cup exits, the season was definitely one to forget." Reads more like a tabloid press report than an encyclopedia article.
- "The good fortune continued in 1989–90, with fourth in the league, League Cup winners, defeating Gateshead 1–0, winning the Cheshire Senior Cup against Macclesfield Town and for the second year running losing in the final of the ClubCall Cup". So it was good fortune to lose?
- "... losing to Telford, as well as the ClubCall final, which was on penalties to Barnet". Do i have to explain what's wrong with this?
- "In 1995/96 Ewen Fields returned to grass surface". We've not been told that it wasn't always a grass surface. What does "1995/96" mean? The 1995–96 season? If so, then that's how it should be formatted, as it is elsewhere in the article.
- Neil Tolson (2008–)
- This section displays a great deal of recentism; why are the details of Hyde's last match covered for instance?
- "Man City Reserves' first Competitive home game", "The only Hyde goal Coming from a well taken penalty", "Over the next few days major fund-raising efforts by the Club officials". Capitalisation appears to be rather random throughout the article.
- "Then on the 21 August, anouther defeat for the Tigers". There shouldn't be basic typos/spelling errors like this in a GAN, but once again they're all throughout the article.
- "The appeal was heard on 30 September 2009, and the original decision was rescinded." Decisions aren't "rescinded", they're reversed.
- Steve Waywell and the Conference North
- "He was replaced, on a permanent basis, by Neil Tolson and Chris Brass, the latter of whom has since left the club." Hardly very permanent if he's gone already.
- Ground
- "This is because the pitch prior to the Astroturf was not a perfect rectangle". What Astroturf? This is the first we've been told of Astroturf.
- Images
- Who has given for File:Hyde FC Crest 2011.jpg to be released under a creative-Commons licence? Where did the image come from?
I'm going to put this article on hold for up to seven days to allow time for these issues to be addressed.
As the problems here are severe, particularly with respect to the lack of citations, and no effort has yet been made to address them, I'm now closing this review. Malleus Fatuorum 21:05, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.