Talk:Irene Sue Vernon
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Untitled
editHello this is Taylor Whitmore from group 5. Your entry is great. I feel like I really learned something new about this woman and her accomplishments. I will say that maybe some more elaboration on her awards, meaning maybe explain what some of them are. The sources are great for the article. I would also add a picture of her in the info box. I would also add more to the early life and education subheading. Overall great job and keep up the good work!!!
Alaura from Group 5
editHeyy group 6, I really like the set up of your headings. They flow nicely and make sense cohesively. I personally would like to know more about her early life. Parents, siblings? This may just be me and shouldn't be added if it will detract from your overall purpose. I agree with tay that a picture of her in the info box would pull it together nicely. Ill have more time later to give some more indepth advice, I just wanted to say hi. Alaura Hopper Alaura Hopper (talk) 03:04, 13 October 2016 (UTC)
Group 5 Peer Review of Group 6 - Mikhail
editGreetings group 6. I want to first of all say that the advice you all provided when Lori asked you guys to stand up in front of the class ended up being very helpful for me, so for that I not only commend you, but also thank you. Group 6 is definitely going in the right direction with regards to your article. The article is clear, concise, yet also very informative. You all do a great job of remaining neutral with the content in the body of the article. As mentioned earlier, I think you all have a great grasp on the essence of this assignment and that is proven in the quality of the article you all produced. Mikhailp0 (talk) 20:18, 14 October 2016 (UTC)
Feedback
editVery nice start on your article. A few things that could use improvement
- Please don't use bare urls. They are impossible to interpret without clicking through, and they are often lost as URLs change over time. The VisualEditor can generally turn bare urls into properly formatting links, so there's no reason to use bare URLs.
- You should base your article, as much as possible, on secondary sources that are independent of the subject.
- You need to show that the subject meets the notability guidelines for academics. Looking at the article, I think she does, but the article doesn't really demonstrate that clearly.
- Don't use external links in the body of the article. Turn them into references.
- Make sure that every statement in the article can be clearly connected to a supporting source. The early life and education section is entirely unsourced, while work and career section is unsourced after the first sentence.
(When replying to this message, please include {{ping|Ian (Wiki Ed)}} in your response, to ensure that I see your reply.)
Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:33, 25 October 2016 (UTC)
Group 6 Response
editTaylor Whitmore
editHi Taylor, thanks so much for your feedback about the her career and early-life section, picture and awards. We were able to put a picture up and revise the career and early-life, but admittedly the amount of sources for proved a little disappointing so we weren't able to add much more.
Alaura Hoppe
editHey Alaura, thanks for all the kind words and compliments on the article headings. The picture worked out but the information on parents and siblings proved tragically elusive, but I do definitely agree it would have been good to have more information about family background and early life.
Mikhail
editMikhail, I really do appreciate the admiration of standing it front of the class. We have also grown to lean on Victor's wisdom quite a bit (he's a really good basketball player, too, I've heard).
Ian
editHi Ian, thanks for the clear points to work on! I think at this point we have removed/repaired all of the bare URLs (and other extraneous ones without additional information), I think they were remnants of preliminary references that just needed to be expanded.
Regarding the secondary sources, I think it's still a really valid concern. Lots of substantiate information (particularly regarding the awards) could not be found elsewhere, so if you think the information that relies on non-secondary sources should be removed I would happy to oblige.
Additional information on the early-life and career also got a few more citations added hopefully clear up validation concerns.
Thank you very, very much for your time and dedication on both our page probably the hundreds of other ones you've tirelessly analyzed in your time at Wiki Edu.