Talk:Jackie Hudson/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Guerillero in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: TheSpecialUser (talk · contribs) 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
Will do it shortly! TheSpecialUser TSU 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
- Review
- Please improve the caption of the Image.
- I will try. There doesn't seem to be any information about the photo out there.
- Is it possible to add a infobox?
- This isn't part of the GA criteria and I don't see the point of an infobox --Guerillero | My Talk 06:57, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
- Any possibilities on a template at the bottom of the page related to her or her work if possible?
- Can't see any that would fit
- The image needs WP:ALT also
Done
- O.P. doesn't need to be written in bold
- Done
- She spent the first 29 years of he working career as a music teacher - he? I think you mean "her"
- Done
- In 2011, after a decline in her health in prison, Hudson died from multiple myeloma. - please add her age at the end of this sentence like, Hudson died from multiple myeloma at the age of xx.
- Done
- Born Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2] -> Born as Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2]
- DoneThe wording sounds strange but I will go with it.
- At age 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order -> At the age of 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order.
- Done
- Roman Catholic junior high schools in Michigan - need comma after Michigan.
- Done
- She was a member of the Dominican Order for 58 years - I can get a flow which should be there in good prose. This doesn't fit with what was there in the previous sentence. Perhaps a re-phrase would do it like; She had been a member of Dominican Order for 58 years (till her death) - I don't know that was she a member of it till her death or not so I'm not quite sure but if she was then do include :)
- I changed it to For 58 years, until her death, she was a member of the Dominican Order. She never quit being a nun.
- an Occupy Seattle protester, cited - remove the comma
- Done
- protesting even when things got hard - should this be under "" if these words were by her otherwise re-phrase is needed to something like, protesting even when things don't go well.
- I added her direct quote
- because of what she found she subsequently focused her ministry on peace and protesting nuclear proliferation - need comma after "found"
- Done
- sneaking onto - please choose a different phrase or word. This doesn't sound like an encyclopedia to some extent.
- Does illegally accessing sound better?
- painting "Christ lives, Disarm" on the side - on the side of what? bunker? I need to be clarified as it is not that clear to me. If it is bunker, this should do the trick; "on the side of it."
- Done
- right thing and living out her faith because -> right thing and living out her faith, and stated that
- Done
- Sisters Carol Gilbert and Ardeth Platte - "Sisters" or "sisters"?
- Done
- snuck onto - ah..remove this and use some other phrase or word.
- This one I will resist changing. The wording here sounds so much better than the alternatives. --Guerillero | My Talk 07:51, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
- held in a federal prison until the charges were dropped - why were the charges dropped?
The sources do not say, sorry.Found the official reason and Gilbert's reasoning.
Did I miss anything? --Guerillero | My Talk 07:58, 24 August 2012 (UTC)