Talk:Jackie Hudson

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jackie Hudson/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TheSpecialUser (talk · contribs) 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Will do it shortly! TheSpecialUser ^TSU 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Review

• Please improve the caption of the Image.
  • I will try. There doesn't seem to be any information about the photo out there.
• Is it possible to add a infobox?
  • This isn't part of the GA criteria and I don't see the point of an infobox --Guerillero | My Talk 06:57, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• Any possibilities on a template at the bottom of the page related to her or her work if possible?
  • Can't see any that would fit
• The image needs WP:ALT also
  •  Done
• O.P. doesn't need to be written in bold
  •  Done
• She spent the first 29 years of he working career as a music teacher - he? I think you mean "her"
  •  Done
• In 2011, after a decline in her health in prison, Hudson died from multiple myeloma. - please add her age at the end of this sentence like, Hudson died from multiple myeloma at the age of xx.
  •  Done
• Born Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2] -> Born as Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2]
  •  DoneThe wording sounds strange but I will go with it.
• At age 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order -> At the age of 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order.
  •  Done
• Roman Catholic junior high schools in Michigan - need comma after Michigan.
  •  Done
• She was a member of the Dominican Order for 58 years - I can get a flow which should be there in good prose. This doesn't fit with what was there in the previous sentence. Perhaps a re-phrase would do it like; She had been a member of Dominican Order for 58 years (till her death) - I don't know that was she a member of it till her death or not so I'm not quite sure but if she was then do include :)
  • I changed it to For 58 years, until her death, she was a member of the Dominican Order. She never quit being a nun.
• an Occupy Seattle protester, cited - remove the comma
  •  Done
• protesting even when things got hard - should this be under "" if these words were by her otherwise re-phrase is needed to something like, protesting even when things don't go well.
  • I added her direct quote
• because of what she found she subsequently focused her ministry on peace and protesting nuclear proliferation - need comma after "found"
  •  Done
• sneaking onto - please choose a different phrase or word. This doesn't sound like an encyclopedia to some extent.
  • Does illegally accessing sound better?
    • Yup. TheSpecialUser ^TSU 07:39, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
      • Yay --Guerillero | My Talk 07:51, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• painting "Christ lives, Disarm" on the side - on the side of what? bunker? I need to be clarified as it is not that clear to me. If it is bunker, this should do the trick; "on the side of it."
  •  Done
• right thing and living out her faith because -> right thing and living out her faith, and stated that
  •  Done
• Sisters Carol Gilbert and Ardeth Platte - "Sisters" or "sisters"?
  •  Done
• snuck onto - ah..remove this and use some other phrase or word.
  • This one I will resist changing. The wording here sounds so much better than the alternatives. --Guerillero | My Talk 07:51, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• held in a federal prison until the charges were dropped - why were the charges dropped?
  • The sources do not say, sorry. Found the official reason and Gilbert's reasoning.

Did I miss anything? --Guerillero | My Talk 07:58, 24 August 2012 (UTC)

TheSpecialUser ^TSU 21:53, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Opening line

@Daniel the Monk: Under the Manual of Style, the opening line of the article should contain The notable positions the person held, activities they took part in or roles they played or more plainly why they are notable. Since we follow the sources here are opening lines of the biographies/obituaries of Sister Jackie Hudson in major publications:

• A year ago, Jackie Hudson, a Dominican nun based in Kitsap County, crawled under a barbed-wire fence in Oak Ridge, Tenn., to protest the lab that produced the material for nuclear bombs. (Seattle Times)
• Dominican Sister Jackie Hudson, who dedicated her life to the pursuit of peace, died Aug. 3. She was 76. (National Catholic Reporter)
• Advocates of peace and justice are mourning the death of Sister Jackie Hudson, a Grand Rapids Dominican Sister who went to jail several times for her anti-war activities. (Grand Rapids Press)

None of the other sources focus on her career as a teacher in the way that they focus on her activism. --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 04:40, 8 June 2015 (UTC)

• • The actual guideline is "notability, neutrally describe the person, and provide context". The style for Wikipedia and for a newspaper are not the same. What I have added to the entry provides the context to her life, which is appropriate per that guideline. Also, according to the MOS:HONORIFIC, with certain narrow exceptions, titles should not be used in that sentence.
  • Additionally, if you are concerned about highlighting her activism, why did you remove the passage about her moving into a peace community? Daniel the Monk (talk) 04:51, 8 June 2015 (UTC)

External links modified

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• Added {{dead link}} tag to http://www.gzcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/Archives/Newsletter/2011%20October.pdf
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• Added archive https://archive.is/20130127041426/http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2011/aug/05/jackie-hudson-nun-who-fought-for-nuclear-dies-at/ to http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2011/aug/05/jackie-hudson-nun-who-fought-for-nuclear-dies-at/

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