Talk:Jump (Madonna song)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Hi, I'll be reviewing this article. The rules for GA reviews are stated at Good Article criteria. Feel free to respond to my comments under each one, and please sign each response, so that it's clear who said what.

When an issue is resolved, I'll mark it with  Done. If I think an issue remains unresolved after responses / changes by the editor(s), I'll mark it  Not done. Occasionally I decide one of my comments is off-target, and strike it out -- Aaroncrick (talk) 22:34, 8 September 2009 (UTC)

Coverage

• Y No obvious gaps. Aaroncrick (talk) 11:29, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Prose

• Y Aaroncrick (talk) 11:30, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Verifiability

• Y Aaroncrick (talk) 11:32, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Links validity check

• Y per Aaroncrick (talk) 11:35, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Check for disambiguation and other dubious wikilinks

• Y per Aaroncrick (talk) 11:35, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Other Comments

• Lead — "It was shot in Tokyo during her Confessions Tour stop in that city." Repeats itself basically. Trim to something like, "It was shot in Tokyo during her Confessions Tour stopover." Aaroncrick (talk) 01:13, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• Commercial performance — "In the United States, the song was aimed at the Adult Contemporary and Hot Adult Contemporary format of radio and was promoted there" Prose would be tightened by saying, "In the United States, the song was aimed and promoted at the Adult Contemporary and Hot Adult Contemporary format of radio." Aaroncrick (talk) 01:13, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• "After its release to iTunes, the song climbed up the Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles chart and peaked at five there, failing to progress further and chart on the Hot 100." Would it be better to remove, "there". Aaroncrick (talk) 01:16, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• "In the United Kingdom, "Jump" debuted at number fifty-nine on the singles chart and reached a peak of nine the next week, thus becoming Madonna's fourth top ten single from the Confessions on a Dance Floor album in that country." "That" doesn't sound quite right. Possible change to "the sovereign state", as the UK isn't a country. Aaroncrick (talk) 01:21, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. Changed to "there". --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• "In the European nations, "Jump" peaked inside the top ten in countries like Denmark, Finland, Netherlands and Spain, and the top forty of the rest of the countries like Austria, Belgium (Flanders and Wallonia), Germany, Ireland, Sweden and Switzerland." Change "like" to "such as:". Aaroncrick (talk) 01:23, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• Music Video — "Before the final chorus starts, the dancers stop the parkour routines and stand on a lamppost." Change to, " ... The dancers cease/stop their parkour routines and stand on a lamppost." Aaroncrick (talk) 01:29, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
• Live performances — "The song was played by Madonna as a part of the promotional campaigns for the Confessions on a Dance Floor album, in London's night clubs like the Koko Club and G-A-Y. The performance again saw Madonna emerge from a glitter ball while wearing a purple jacket, velvet pedal pushers and knee-high boots." "Like" probably isn't the best word to use. Possibly say, "including:". What do you mean by, "The performance ... "? Which performance? Please clarify. Aaroncrick (talk) 01:33, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:59, 10 September 2009 (UTC)

Well done thanks for fixing these issues. Another Very Good Madonna article. With some minor tweaking it should be well on the way to becoming a FA. Aaroncrick (talk) 05:05, 10 September 2009 (UTC)