Talk:Klemens von Metternich/GA2

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Jarry1250 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: DCI (talk · contribs) 00:25, 23 January 2012 (UTC) I plan on reviewing this article within the coming week. DCItalk 00:25, 23 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

  • As I will have many comments, I am more than willing to complete corrections myself, in case you're busy this week. DCItalk 18:46, 28 January 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • Lead.
    • The opening sentence is quite long, but I am not sure we can do much about it.
    • I'm not sure about opening a sentence with "Soon after, however, he would be the foreign minister..."   Done
    • Change "at home" to "at this time".   Not done Clarified what I mean
  • Early life
    • Is the first name necessary?
    • He was the eldest son of the couple, having one elder sister"...could you change to but had one other sister?   Not done but clarified
    • The statement about swimming and horse-riding seems out of place in this sentence. Perhaps you could say something to the effect that his education included athletic activities, as well.   Done
    • The second paragraph in this section contains a few sentences that need grammar checking and also a quick check to make sure they don't incorporate too many clauses. I do not understand the last sentence, about looking "at east," unless it's supposed to be "at ease."  Done
    • Please include the name of the French minister interrogated by Metternich. If you can, also include the names of the legislators. Was this, by any chance, the French turncoat Dumoriez?
  • Marriage and the Congress of Rastatt.
    • Many of the most influential... This sounds wordy. Why not change it to "influential British politicians?"   Done
  • Ambassador
  • Dresden and Berlin
    • What does the word "retiring" mean in this context? Was Frederick Augustus of Saxony withdrawn from the affairs of state? Including a more detailed word or explanation might clarify this.   Done
  • Foreign Minister
  • Detente with France
    • I'm not wild about this sentence: After returning to Austria Metternich witnessed Austria's defeat...   Done
    • When Napoleon was also asking after..." Is there a better way to word this?   Done
  • Congress of Vienna
    • Check for minor errors (e.g., aid instead of the correct aide).  Done
  • Aachen, Teplice, etc.
  • Remaining sections
    • Although the article meets GA criteria, as explained below, I may add more comments here within the next few days to assist in making general corrections.

My major concern

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My major concern is the first paragraph of Historical assessment. I understand that the comments in this paragraph are supposed to be from the point of view of an unfavourable historian, but unquoted phrases describing a "pointless" struggle and "a more enlightened chancellor" do not sound acceptable here on Wikipedia.

General comments/concerns

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  • Section headers eventually become quite small and a little hard to differentiate between. I understand this is necessary given the additional level-two sections at the bottom, but it's just something I noticed.
  • There are more than a few redlinks in the page. Again, they're probably necessary, but it detracts from the overall appearance.
  • Sourcing is excellent.

GA checklist

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

This article is well-written and, with the exception of the errors outlined above, is ready to be listed as GA. In order to make A-class or FA, corrections will need to be made around the article, again as listed above, but I am ready to pass this as soon as my major concern is addressed.

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    The article's prose is quite good, but there are a few things that ought to be revised a little.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
    I cannot pass the article until I receive feedback or see corrections on Historical assessment.
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
    I am impressed with this article, and am happy to pass it for GA. DCItalk 21:41, 29 January 2012 (UTC)Reply