Talk:Lake Manly/GA1
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:18, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
Hi, I am taking a look and making some straightforward copyedits as I go (please correct/revert me if I inadvertently change the meaning!). I'll jot questions/issues below: Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:18, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
Combine first and second sentences as they are a bit repetitive as is...why not, "Lake Manly was a pluvial lake in Death Valley, California, covering a surface area of 1,600 square kilometres (620 sq mi) during the so-called "Blackwelder stand"." - also link "Blackwelder stand" here.
Done, but "Blackwelder stand" is not a separate article - are intra-article links fine? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
If possible, avoid having the first 3 lead paras starting "Lake Manly.."
- Done, there were alternative terms. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
The single sentence 4th para should be joined onto the 3rd.
- Not sure about this ... may need some rewrite before it can be tacked on. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
- How about something like, "Lake Manly and other lake systems in the Great Basin formed by a process of decreasing temperatures and thus decreasing evaporation as well as increased precipitation during the ice ages." or something similar....
*I'd combine first 2 sections into a single Discovery and naming section. Also combine single sentence paras
:I think I got that one; I tend to construct paragraphs around a certain topic, not necessarily a certain length. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
Add Levi F. Noble's occupation as a descriptor/adjective. Ditto Gilbert.
- Added these, I don't think an inline citation is needed for their job description. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
According to some evidence, a southeastward flowing river occupied northern Death Valley during the late Miocene - sounds vague. Describe the evidence
- Explained a little more, using a rewording as the literal source text
clast assemblages and facies within the 14–6 Ma Artists Drive Formation that are consistent with a northwest-to-southeast–flowing fluvial system during the late Miocene.
is probably too technical. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
The occurrence of lizards of the Uma family - umm...Uma is a genus not a family...
- Aye, fixed this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
Any info on any critters that appeared in the lake in 2005 when it reformed?
- Didn't find anything... Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
- FWIW, Earwigs tool looks ok.
Anyway, over to you. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:43, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
- @Casliber: Answered issues. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:01, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
- Second item addressed, @Casliber: Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:55, 16 February 2018 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
- Pass or Fail: - ok we're there. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:24, 16 February 2018 (UTC)