Talk:Laura Matsuda

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Laura Matsuda/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 06:45, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

I'll take this one. QuicoleJR (talk) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

@Kung Fu Man: The article is overall pretty good, but I did notice a few things. The article also passes the spot check. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:54, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

Lead

• a character from 1997's Street Fighter III and its updates. What does “updates” mean here?
  • Removed, not really necessary to grasp in this case.
• In live action portrayals of the character, she was played by Natascha Hopkins for the web mini-series Street Fighter: Resurrection. I think you should cut everything before the first comma. The sentence just doesn't sound right as-is.
  • Restructured
• originally having them exposed in her finalized design “Originally” implies it was later changed, while “finalized design” implies it was not changed. This should be fixed.
  • Fixed
• the character has received mixed reception, with her moveset being praised, but her story and lack of character was criticized. The grammar is incorrect here.
  • Fixed
• while others served more to appeal to the male gaze. What do you mean by that?
  • Fixed to be clearer

Conception and development

• motions related to the sport This part could be worded better.
  • Made more direct
• and revealing varying degrees of her body What are “degrees” of a person's body?
  • Rewrote to be clearer
• and along with her voluptuous body was meant to give her a more pronounced South American look. What does “voluptuous” mean? I might just be dumb here, but there are probably more common words you could use to express this sentiment.
  • Added quote to voluptuous, it's their term not mine.
• but deciding to be "honest with himself" instead. I have no clue what this is supposed to mean here.
  • Tweaked. Was trying to be careful not to put words in his mouth, but I feel the context is the same still with this edit.

Reception

• examined her on the grounds of her portrayal of race and feminism, I feel like this sentence would read better if you cut “on the grounds of her”.
  • Fixed
• IMO, the Brazilian Society is too heavily quoted. If possible, I would prefer to have much of this paraphrased.
  • Rewrote

• @QuicoleJR: I think I addressed everything, lemme know if anything else comes up!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 16:19, 20 July 2024 (UTC)

  @Kung Fu Man: Sorry for the delay, I have been unexpectedly busy lately. I have looked through the article again, and I see no more issues that need to be fixed. I will now be closing this nomination as successful. QuicoleJR (talk) 16:03, 23 July 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.