Talk:Lewis Nicola

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Lewis Nicola/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: DCI (talk · contribs) 04:09, 22 January 2012 (UTC) I will be reviewing this article during the course of this coming week.

Comments from AJona1992

• Hey there! While I was going through the article I did spot this "Doyle passed away in August 1759" which is a WP:EUPHEMISM. I'll let the reviewer do his/her thang. Best on the nomination, Jonayo! ^{Selena 4 ever} 06:25, 22 January 2012 (UTC)

DCI's comments

I have made numerous changes to the article, which is quite well done and could well, I feel, make GA.

Wow! That was really, really awesome what you did to the article. I really appreciate it.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 23:48, 22 January 2012 (UTC)

Section: The years to 1782

There are several issues with this section, and I have corrected others that I haven't mentioned here.

• Would you be all right with changing the title to "Service prior to 1782"?
  • Changed it.
    —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 07:22, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

• ...a captain of the Invalid Corps, sent a letter to Washington on July 20, 1781 claiming Nicola was depriving the Corps... What does "depriving" mean in this sense? The ending of this sentence is very confusing.
  • Re-worded a bit and simplified. Tell me how you think it sounds now.
    —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 07:22, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

• Check for grammar mistakes/word choice issues throughout the second half of this section. Re-reading the section might be a good idea, and then you can make changes to anything that sounds awkward (hopefully none of my changes messed up anything, either!)
  • I re-read the section and I don't see any grammar problems. I also ran it through a spell/grammar-checking program and no problems either.
    —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:24, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

• Struggling for money, Nicola begged Robert Morris, the Continental superintendent of finance, the same month for the money that the Congress did not pay the Corps. I'd rephrase this to make sure the reader understands he asked for money. They should be inferring this already, but it wouldn't hurt to revise.
  • Tried to revise by changing words and throwing some phrases around. See what you think about it.
    —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 07:22, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

DCItalk 01:31, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

Section: Resolution of the Invalid Corps and promotion

• There are multiple sentences in this paragraph that are rather confusing.
  • Nicola argued against it, except for combat operations and long marches, no other regiment has done more service.
    • Reworded it.
      —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 18:05, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
  • There he was two months after the official conclusion of peace by the Treaty of Paris (1783) as a commissioner for the settlement of all matters concerning him set his regiment.
  • Beginning in June 1784, Congress made ​​him finally for a period of four and a half months to draw up the certificates for members of his former regiment.
• Each of these sentences leaves out important info on exactly what the subject did.
• One more thing - is there a word other than "resolution" that could be used?
  • I think your edit has fixed these comments.
    —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:23, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

DCItalk 01:31, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

Pass

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

---

I am impressed with the work you've done in regard to this article, and am happy to pass it.

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Although numerous revisions had to be made in order for me to pass this article as GA, I am satisfied by it and believe that it has promise as an A-class article through WikiProject Military history's review process. Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia, and good luck in the future! ~ DCItalk

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