Talk:Mareike Miller

Latest comment: 7 years ago by InternetArchiveBot in topic External links modified

GA Review

edit
GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Mareike Adermann/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 12:04, 23 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

I'll be happy to review this...

  • The second sentence in the lead is extremely lengthy and I would advise you to trim it down to two. "She has also played the German national team" → spot the grammar error.
  • "Adermann began playing basketball at the age of seven, and made her debut at the women's regional championships in Germany when she was 14", needs ref.
  • "she underwent knee surgery four times, three times in the right knee"
  • "Each time she took eight months to recover, and each time she ruptured an anterior cruciate ligament again within weeks of returning to playing" consider, "On each occassion, she took eight months to recover and ruptured an anterior cruciate ligament within weeks of returning to playing"
  • "At the age of 18, Adermann was forced to give up her dream of playing basketball. .", remove extra full stop. Ref needed.
  • "As a wheelchair basketball player, Adermann, who is by no means confined to a wheelchair in everyday activities" reads journalse. Is "who is by no means confined to a wheelchair in everyday activities" needed in her playing career? Consider removing this part.
  • Is three-point line the same as Three-point field goal?
  • Move ref 5 at the end of the sentence.
  • "She was captain of the German U25 National team competing at their first ever World Championships" place comma between 'team' and 'competing'.
  • "In 2009 she began attending" place comma between '2009' and 'she'
  • "where she studied business administration, particularly sports administration and coaching, with the idea of one day becoming" → "where she studied business administration – particularly sports administration and coaching – with the idea of one day becoming..."
  • "She found the workload much higher than in Germany. Whereas most German clubs trained only two of three times a week, training in the United States was every day, with weight and training rooms available 24 hours a day, seven days a week." needs ref.
  • "In the Gold Medal match in London, the team faced the Australia women's national wheelchair basketball team,[8] a team that had defeated..." replace bit in bold with 'who'.
  • "six point margins" → six-point is hyphenated.
  • "Many times, I was told that after winning a gold medal, I have achieved the most I can, so I could quit now," Adermann later wrote, "But I disagree." reads biographically. Could it be written differently?

No dead or dab links. Just minor ref problems and areas where prose needs a bit of tightening. Will pass once changes have been made.

Great, happy to pass this. :) Lemonade51 (talk) 22:45, 23 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
edit

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 3 external links on Mareike Miller. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 23:30, 8 May 2017 (UTC)Reply