Talk:Metamorfosis World Tour/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 15:15, 23 June 2013 (UTC)

General comments

• The tenses need checking. It is now longer "current" so "it was a tour" for example.

  Done.

• The lead doesn't reflect the fact the tour has finished either.

  Done.

• "is the first tour before abandoning Warner Music to become" a bit emotive, perhaps "is his first tour before leaving Warner Music to become..."

  Done.

• "with dates for American, Argentinian and Chilean venues revealed." you don't link USA but you do Argentina and Chile, no need.

  Done.

• " of four ambiences on top of a rotatory stage through which Arjona performs and each one of them are directly related to the songs being performed" this isn't great English, it needs a proper copyedit, I don't even really understand it.

  Did my best rewording it. I wrote that sentence so long ago...

• "and fourth and final stage a theatre" no need for "and final".

• Fixed with above

• "On Buenos Aires, it" you mean "In Buenos Aires"?

  <.<

• "attended ... attendance" repetitive.

  Done.

• "As of April 2012" it's finished and it's now June 2013, needs update.

  Updated.

• "Fellow guatemalan singer-songwriter" capital G for guatemalan. Check whole article.

  On it.

• "The tour follows his past Quinto Piso Tour," no need for "past".

  Done.

• In infobox, surely tour years are 2012–13, not just 2012?

  Done.

• "Independiente is Arjona's" was.

  Done.

• "to refocus his career" is that something he said? If so, it should be quoted and attributed.
• "photographer-director" en-dash (as you use en-dash for singer–songwriter).
• "Although the album is ..." was.
• What are these "ambiences"?
• "through which Arjona performs along seven musicians and one showgirl" needs work.

• Done

• "50 people are..." avoid stating sentences with numbers.

• Done

• "150 illumination lights," ditto.

• Done

• For "movable" do you really mean "mobile"?

• Yep

• "of scenography" you mean "scenery"?
• Don't overlink Santiago de Chile.

In general a heavy copyedit would be in order.

I agree. I will try to copyedit this whole article ASAP. Thanks :) — ΛΧΣ²¹ 03:09, 24 June 2013 (UTC)

Comments specific to GAN criteria

1. Well-written: ✗ Fail (see above)
2. Verifiable: ✓ Pass
3. Broad: ✓ Pass
4. Neutral: ? (see above)
5. Stable: ✓ Pass
6. Illustrated: ✓ Pass

Currently I consider this GAN to be on hold pending the resolution of the above. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:34, 23 June 2013 (UTC)

I'll give it a thorough copyedit in the next day or so. All the best, Miniapolis 17:59, 29 June 2013 (UTC)

• It appears that Miniapolis did the copyedit that evening. Was it sufficient? I've just added a missing "url=" parameter to one of the references so it no longer shows an error. Where does the article stand now? BlueMoonset (talk) 14:35, 4 July 2013 (UTC)

Further comments

• Non-English-language sources should use a language template.
  • Done.
• Can you check that those pre-collapsed tables are okay per WP:COLLAPSE?
  • I think they are, yes.
• Still conflict of "singer–songwriter" and "singer-songwriter" and "photographer-director".
  • Ok, I think i finally handled this.
• Don't think "lights" needs to be wikilinked.
  • Delinked that and a couple more things.
• "Panoramic photography of the stage" well I don't think the "Panoramic photography of..." is needed. That much is obvious to the observer.
  • Fixed.

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:12, 4 July 2013 (UTC)

Thanks! — ΛΧΣ²¹ 18:18, 19 July 2013 (UTC)