Talk:Mount Carmel East

Untitled

This is a work in progress.Sixflashphoto (talk) 15:12, 31 August 2017 (UTC)

Photos are to be taken for this article shortly. Sixflashphoto (talk) 15:46, 31 August 2017 (UTC)

•  Done At least there are some pictures now. But I still want better ones; one of the main entrance (after current renovation), one of the main er entrance (after current renovation), one of the ambulance entrance in the back, and of course another overall shot next year when they hopefully are done with the construction. Sixflashphoto (talk) 15:24, 26 September 2017 (UTC)

A slight issue with one of the article's sections

FWIW, there is a Mount Carmel Medical Group that's listed in the encyclopedia, but that one is based in Ireland. There may be need for some clarification and/or disambiguation. BroVic (talk) 19:49, 23 October 2017 (UTC)

@BroVic: I was unaware of that, and I agree that is confusing. What do you think the best way to handle this would be? Mount Carmel Health could conflict as well, as that is the organization that manages Mount Carmel East as well as several other Hospitals in the central Ohio area. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 00:31, 24 October 2017 (UTC)

Perhaps an article on the Group or a disambiguation page should solve the issue. – BroVic (talk) 21:04, 24 October 2017 (UTC)

@BroVic and Sixflashphoto: I added hatnotes to both articles BroVic mentioned (including this one) to disambiguate "Mount Carmel Medical Group". I don't see a point to doing the same for "Mount Carmel Health" until "Mount Carmel Health" in the U.S. has its own section or article.   — Jeff G. ツ 03:08, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Jeff G.: Thank you for your help and thank you for showing me a new way of doing the references but I'm left a bit confused. Mount Carmel Health in the US does have an article. That one was not created by me but it is the parent company that operates all of the Mount Carmel hospitals in the Mount Carmel Network. So does that not fit in? I really don't care that much either way I just would like to know what the proper way this should be. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 04:18, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Sixflashphoto: Sorry, I was confused. You mentioned "Mount Carmel Health", whose website http://www.mountcarmelhealth.com/ is "© 2018 Mount Carmel Health System" and lists "Mount Carmel East" first when "Locations" is clicked. http://www.mountcarmelhealth.com/about-us is consistent. Eight years ago, https://web.archive.org/web/20100227094338/http://www.mountcarmelhealth.com/about-us/ mentioned neither "System" nor any particular hospital, I'm not sure that link in the first ref of Mount Carmel Health, added by a bot, has been particularly relevant to anything in the present. https://www.bizjournals.com/columbus/print-edition/2011/07/29/health-magnet-cyberknife.html is behind a paywall, but what I can see mentioned "System" on 2011/07/29 (Jul 29, 2011). Thus, because both current refs support the name "Mount Carmel Health System", I renamed article Mount Carmel Health to Mount Carmel Health System and changed all it's non-talk incoming links. I didn't see anything about "Mount Carmel Network", which you mentioned above, or "Mount Carmel Health Partners", which is mentioned in this article. Please clarify.   — Jeff G. ツ 13:07, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Jeff G.: Mount Carmel Health Partners in my experience refers to the DR's (for example, my own primary care physician and cardiologist) who operate in association with Mount Carmel. Mount Carmel Network in my experience is a catch-all term for the 4 main Mount Carmel hospitals, affiliated dr's, possibly even the school of nursing. I should mention that someone could say Mount Carmel Medical Group, and Mount Carmel Health System and Mount Carmel Network are all interchangeable terms I believe. I don't believe there is a difference. Having slept on it I like your changes and I think it's fine now unless I'm wrong which is possible. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 14:42, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Sixflashphoto: Well, this article says that they have different numbers of "primary care and specialty" people - "Mount Carmel Medical Group, representing more than 250 primary care and specialty care providers" vs. "Mount Carmel Health Partners – a network of up to 1,200 primary care and specialty physicians".   — Jeff G. ツ 16:31, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Jeff G.: You were right. I wrote it and I wrote it confusingly. I tried to make better distinctions in the article. I really thank you for all your help. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 17:01, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Sixflashphoto: You're welcome, well done.   — Jeff G. ツ 17:57, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@Jeff G.: I'm cool with that. Thanks a lot! BroVic (talk) 10:33, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

@BroVic: You're welcome.   — Jeff G. ツ 13:07, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Ceranthor

Sources

• What makes [1] a reliable source per WP:RS?
• What makes [2] a reliable source?
• Reference 20 should be filled out with all the source information. Same with source 31.
• Is all of the "transport" section supported by source 30?

Prose

• "Mount Carmel East located in Columbus, Ohio, just outside of the suburb of Reynoldsburg, is a primary care hospital located on a 77-acre campus[2] " - Too many ideas. split into two sentences: "Mount Carmel East is a primary care hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Located on a 77-acre campus just outside of the suburb..."
• "U.S. News & World Report regionally ranked Mount Carmel East and West Hospitals the number 18 best performing among hospitals in Ohio and high performing in four specialties and procedures.[7]" - should be the 18th best, not "the number 18th best", and I don't think "performing" should be included in the first instance after best.
• "A new 5-storey patient tower and many new additions to the hospital with a specific focus on expanding the capacity services offered are focused upon in this expansion to meet the needs of the growing population" - needs to be reworded, and there's too much fluff for one sentence.
• "Its prominence as the largest hospital in the Mount Carmel Health System and the largest in the east side of Columbus allows it to take national prominence in breakthrough surgical treatments." - this needs to be rewritten with sharper language, and also I think it should have a citation if you're going to cite things throughout the lead
• "The land that would eventually become Mount Carmel East was purchased in 1908, and was originally a functioning farm that grew food for what is now Mount Carmel West.[9]" - should be "and originally supported a farm..."
• "When construction took place it took five years" - should be "Construction took five years"
• "The hospital was completed in 1972 opening as a 233-bed facility.[3]" - combine with the previous sentence
• "In 2003 construction was finished on a four-storey, 128,000-square-foot, $66 million tower designed to expand the heart and maternity care at the hospital." - Think you mean cardiac care, rather than "heart"
• "This followed in July of 2003 an $18 million expansion of the hospital’s emergency room.[2]" - grammar... "followed in ... an"? Where's the verb? The "in July of 2003" bit reads awkwardly
• "In 2003 Mount Carmel East opened a new four-story, $66 million tower[2] with a focus on Heart and maternity care" - same note as before about "heart"; also it shouldn't be capitalized
• "Since this was completed Mount Carmel East has two open-heart operating rooms, a stent-capable catheterization laboratory, a cardiovascular neuro-services center, an eight-bed post-surgery intensive care unit, an 18-bed coronary care unit and a 30-bed step-down unit all within its hospital grounds.[13] " this sentence is a bit too listy. try to reduce the wall of text.
• "The facility was named after Bruce E. Siegel MD, who was one of the first members of the medical staff at Mount Carmel East." - "who was" is unnecessary

General

• It seems like a good amount of material in the history section is unnecessarily repeated in other sections. Just an observation.

Here are some comments to help you as you prepare for the GAN. Best of luck! ceranthor 20:07, 23 March 2018 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Mount Carmel East/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Nova Crystallis (talk · contribs) 03:03, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

Hello, fellow Columbusite! I will start the review as soon as the peer review is finished. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:03, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

• @Nova Crystallis: It was my understanding that the peer review by Ceranthor was finished. Did you want me to respond to his final suggestions on the talk page? I certainly am willing but didn't want to implement any major changes to the article since I had nominated it for GA Review and wanted to leave it be unchanged as per my understanding of the GA process. This is my first nomination so I apologize if I should have done something out of order. Thank you for taking the time to review this, I genuinely want to be better at improving articles about central Ohio. -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:32, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

• @Sixflashphoto: If you're done with the peer review, you should close it. No worries, I had some trouble with my first GA. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:52, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

 Done Thank you! -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:57, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

Alright, I'll get to it tomorrow morning, it's getting a bit late. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:58, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

Starting...

• Whatever Ceranthor suggested in the peer review should be fixed here if not already.
• The lead should not have citations that repeat later in the article.
• COTA should be written out fully, with the acronym in parentheses next to it.
• There should be a comma after the phrase "In year x".
• "the largest in the east side of Columbus allows it to take national prominence in breakthrough surgical treatments." Use "allowed" for past tense.
• "The hospital was completed in 1972 opening as a 233-bed facility." Comma needed between 1972 and opening.
• "story" is much more commonly used than "storey".
• "rankling Mount Carmel" Spelling error.
• "This followed in July of 2003 an $18 million expansion of the hospital’s emergency room." Switch the date format for July of 2003.
• "In 2015 a plan was announced to begin construction on a new 5-storey patient tower, reducing the number of beds from the current 419 to 381 all-private patient rooms as well as a thorough reconstruction of the original structure to better accommodate the needs of the population on the east side of Columbus as it has become the largest hospital on the east side of Columbus." Split this sentence.
• "and in 2010 was awarded the Thomson Reuters 50 Top Cardiovascular Hospitals award for heart care." Reword this to "and it was awarded the Thomson Reuters Top 50 Cardiovascular Hospitals award for heart care in 2010."
• "specialties and onsite including" Colon needed at the end.
• "in 4 areas" Write out the four.
• Link all specialties listed.
• "including Subway, Cold Stone Creamery and Tim Hortons open 7 days a week." Change from "opening 7 days a week" to ", opening seven days a week".
• "The Mount Carmel East Cafeteria is also open 7 days a week." Merge with previous sentence.
• The expansion section seems repetitive, maybe merge it with the history section?
• Patient safety should be merged to the Services section.
• All references should be expanded to include access dates. I suggest using the citation expander.

Should be it for now. Nova Chrysalia (Talk) 12:35, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

• @Nova Crystallis: Thank you for reviewing this and giving such helpful recommendations. I believe I have completed all but one of them. Please tell me if something was done incorrectly. All citations that are repeated later in the article are removed. I believe all citations now have access dates. I believe I have addressed the rest of those very helpful critiques as well.

As to the integration of the Expansion section with the History section. I could see trying to trim out repetitive information but I hesitate to remove the section entirely. While nearly completed at this point, and to that end I could see updating the section, the construction project was so massive it nearly rebuilt major sections of the entire hospital.

If you feel it truly is superfluous and should be merged I would but it is my opinion that it should say although I can certainly concede to it needing to be trimmed down if information is simply repeated. All the best -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 21:40, 10 May 2018 (UTC)

It's fine, just missing the fourth point now. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:06, 11 May 2018 (UTC)

I'm sorry but are you referring too the 4th point of GA review criteria? -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:15, 11 May 2018 (UTC)

Fourth point of my review. Nova Crystallis (Talk) 03:38, 11 May 2018 (UTC)

Ah! Done. I went through it again and corrected all of the lack of commas after "In year x". -- Sixflashphoto (talk) 03:52, 11 May 2018 (UTC)