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Latest comment: 6 months ago36 comments2 people in discussion
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Spotcheck: [2] Verified. I'll note that the cited source doesn't actually mention Núñez, but as it is providing necessary context about Pulacayo, that isn't so much of an issue. If this context exists in other sources that are about Núñez, I'd recommend replacing it. This is a very minor issue though.
Spotcheck: [1] Verified. The details about her being the penultimate of 5 children and her parents' occupations appear to be in Gonzales Salas 2013, p. 249; where the information about her parents' names is in Vargas & Villavicencio 2014, p. 111.
Spotcheck: [5] Verified. Both sources verify that she worked as a nurse in a hospital, Gonzales Salas 2013, p. 249 verifies that she left the job after getting married.
Might be worth mentioning that her husband was a doctor when he's introduced, as it provides context for both their meeting and the later detail about his work.
Spotcheck: [6] Verified. Again, this cited source doesn't mention Núñez, but it is providing necessary context about an organisation. If it can be replaced with a source about Núñez that provides this context, that'd be ideal, but no worries if not.
The section title being "Nursing career" reads rather odd, as she's only a nurse for half a sentence in this whole section. I'd recommend removing the subsection separation and just having this be one larger "Early life and career" section, as it's not so long that it really needs to be in separate subsections.
Sounds good! I still think it'd be better as a single section, but it's just a personal preference thing, doesn't affect the review. Feel free to keep it as you like. --Grnrchst (talk) 08:25, 7 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [7] Partially verified. Gonzales Salas 2013, p. 249 and Romero Ballivián 2018, p. 415 verify Núñez's involvement in CONDEPA, but Página Siete 2022 doesn't even mention her. Additionally, only Página Siete describes CONDEPA as "populist". I'd recommend just cutting the citation to Página Siete and removing the characterisation of the party as "populist".
"at a time of flux" This is a very vague description. Be more specific about what happened.
Replaced with "during a period of factional infighting". It's more specific and also gives a clearer use to the Página Siete citation you mention above. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [8] I see that she was a candidate in these elections and placed third on the CONDEPA list, but I don't understand how I'm supposed to interpret this as "ranked too low on the CONDEPA party list to secure a seat". It doesn't appear as though this even shows who won election and who didn't?
You're correct. This portion is a bit tricky, because the actual sources about her missed the fact that she was a candidate earlier – it's something I came across on my own. I could add a citation to the election results, which show that only the top-ranked candidate on CONDEPA's list won a seat? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [10] Verified her being at the top spot, but not the relation between this and her being departmental head.
It's unclear how citations [9] and [10] are related to each other, so it reads a bit as synth. Consider splitting these up into individual sentences, or rewriting so you're not implying a direct connection where the sources do not. (For the record, I think this interpretation is understandable, but we need to stick to what the sources clearly state without our own novel interpretations)
Spotcheck: [11] Verified. Again, it doesn't reference Núñez, but it does provide informative context. If this context is included in other sources that do mention Núñez, consider replacing it with one of those.
Spotcheck: [12] It appears as though it was the MNR that placed second in 1997, where CONDEPA actually placed third. Also "eleventh-last" is a bit unclear, it might read that it came eleventh from the bottom, where it appears to be saying that it came in eleventh place which was also last place. I think it'd be more informative to provide percentage points (17.16% in 1997, versus 0.37% in 2002), which provides a better picture of their downfall than the vaguer description of position (although it might still be worth mentioning that they came in last place in 2002).
Switched out "eleventh-last" for a more concise "dead last". As for the results, it seems the article I cited is mentioning the nationwide results for 1997, where ADN won first and the MNR second – in Oruro specifically, it was ADN first and CONDEPA second. I've kept the article but added a second source with the election results. I omitted the exact percentage results because they're redundant given the "electoral history" section. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
I think describing CONDEPA as the "predecessor" of the MAS is a bit misleading. It implies a direct lineage between the former and the latter, but MAS had existed for years prior to all this occurring.
You're right, that's not the intended meaning. Perhaps "precursor" would be a better fit? They're technically synonyms, but I think "predecessor" more heavily implies a direct continuation, whereas "precursor" is a bit more general. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [15] Partially verified. Different parts of the text are verified by one of the two cited sources. I'm not seeing anything in the sources about how "She won the constituency with ease", or about her moving "from opposition to government control" (how was she in the opposition when she failed to get elected?) Consider rewriting this final sentence. Keep it simple.
Romero cites "Venció con holgura" ("She won with ease"). For the second part, Vargas & Villavicencio states that this was the first time the MAS won the constituency. The intended meaning was that the MAS flipped a seat that the opposition had won last cycle. I rewrote that portion to say "flipping the seat in favor of the ruling party", which is clearer – I hope – and closer to the source. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
My bad, I should have specified. It's the one that starts with "She served, first, as deputy leader of the MAS caucus in Oruro" --Grnrchst (talk) 08:32, 7 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [24] Verified, although sources appear to say she was in this office from 2012 to 2013, not 2014?
Source cites "en la Gestión 2012 y 2013", which is a bit unclear because of the poor grammar (should be "en las gestiones"). However, in most cases, "gestión 2012" would refer to the term beginning in 2012 (and ending in 2013), and "gestión 2013" would be the term beginning in 2013 (and ending in 2014). Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Consider rearranging this list into chronological order.
It's based on official commission hierarchy, but I think I'll just start making them chronological in future articles, as this has come up in other reviews. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [28] The cited sources verify different parts. Gonzales Salas 2013, p. 249 verifies her marriage at age 22, La Patria 2021 verifies her children's names and occupations.
Spotcheck: [29] Verified.
Spotcheck: [30] Verified.
Honestly, this part about her corruption scandal should probably go in the section about her tenure. It provides crucial context about the end of her term in office. It's also not really about her personal life, it's very much about her political career.
"The case never advanced to trial." Source?
I couldn't find a single source about the case after 2014. Honestly, I'm wasn't even 100% sure about including the scandal, as I could fill every Bolivian politician's page with a list of corruption scandals that ultimately went nowhere. Without a conviction or even a trial, do you reckon I should just remove it? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
I think it should be included, but maybe reduced a bit. Removing it could be a knock against the article's neutrality, but if it didn't go anywhere, it should only be given the weight it's due. --Grnrchst (talk) 08:37, 7 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
Spotcheck: [31] Verified.
Even if it's from an official source, I'm not sure I feel comfortable with Tweets being cited in a good article. This information is already verified by La Patria, so I'm not sure the tweet is necessary to cite.
I only included it because the La Patria source, having appeared in the print edition, was published the day after she actually died (11 May), while the Chamber of Deputies announced the death on the day of (10 May). Krisgabwoosh (talk) 15:27, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
All references properly presented and laid out.
B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
A couple cases where the sources could be brought further inline, but every section is fully cited.
Another very nice article on a Bolivian representative by Krisgabwoosh. It's close to passing, but there's a number of issues that I've found that I think need to be fixed before I can pass this review. Ping me when these comments have been addressed, and I'll be happy to take another look. --Grnrchst (talk) 12:35, 6 May 2024 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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