Talk:Panggilan Darah/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dwaipayanc (talk · contribs) 21:55, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "...starred Dhalia and Soerip and followed orphaned sisters as they tried to make a living in the colonial capital of Batavia". Seems like something in missing. May be a comma after Soerip, and something (two?) immediately before orphaned sisters. Or may be even "..Dhalia and Soerip as two orphaned sisters who tried to make a living in the colonial capital..."?

• Split into two different sentences.

• Any present day equivalent of British Malaya (like Indonesia is mentioned earlier in the lead)? It's probably not a strict necessity: up to you.

• Reworded to Singapore. British Malaya = peninsular Malaysia and Singapore — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Orphaned sisters Dahlia and Soerip... " So their screen names were also Dahlia and Soerip?

• Their characters' names were the same as theirs, yes. Added (themselves).

• "Panggilan Darah was the directorial debut of Sutan Usman Karim (Suska)" So, Suska was the pet name, or, was he commonly known by that name?

• Common abbreviation. Compare Hamka. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• Maybe a small descriptor for Andjar Asmara?

• Not keen on that. If he's already described as the head of Bolero, more information would not quite be pertinent. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Based on the plot, Indonesian film historian Misbach Yusa Biran suggests that the film may have been partly sponsored by Nitisemito, at the time one of the largest cigarette factories in the Indies" Did not understand that. The plot had elements suggestive of a cigarette company producing the film? Also when does Biran suggest that? Many years later?

• Many, many, many years (2009 - 1940 = 69). Reworded. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• So, wont be better to state in this way, "...Indonesian film historian Misbach Yusa Biran suggests in his 2010 book Sejarah Film 1900–1950: Bikin Film di Jawa that the film may.."?--Dwaipayan (talk) 23:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• Don't think the title is important, but year is. Reworded. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:24, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Soerabaijasch Handelsblad" Is that a daily? Or some other periodical?

• Newspaper. Looks to be a daily based on the editions I've seen online. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Unable to recoup its expenses, Oriental was merged into the Dutch-owned Multi Film and ceased producing works of fiction" When did this happen? Immediately after the film? Was this a result of this film?

• Doesn't say it was only as a result of this film (Oriental's earlier works may have played a role too). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• Also, Multi Film was Dutch-owned. So, was Oriental Film native-owned? (well, that has not been told explicitly, but from the names of the owner, reader may guess so) When I came across this term Dutch-owned, I thought being owned by Dutch versus Indonesian natives may have some historical significance. That's why asking this.

• Owner was ethnic Chinese (no native film producers in the Indies; Darah dan Doa (1950) had the first). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• "... they made their last feature films..." Made versus acted in?--Dwaipayan (talk) 21:55, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• Not quite the same, so changed. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:49, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

• Although it's not a requirement, how about a cast list? While reading non-plot section of this article (such as legacy), a cast list provides an easy way to cross-reference. For example, there is a sentence in legacy "Sutinah and Poniman would remain active in the industry until 1986 and 1975..." Now, a reader who is not acquainted with Indonesian names, might have forgotten who they were or which roles they played. A cast list would offer a quick check for that. --Dwaipayan (talk) 01:02, 28 May 2013 (UTC)

• No, I don't think this would meet WP:CASTLIST. If they forget after the plot, they're going to forget after a cast list as well. That and plain cast lists generally look terrible.09:32, 28 May 2013 (UTC) — Crisco 1492 (talk)

In my opinion, the article meets GA criteria.--Dwaipayan (talk) 19:42, 29 May 2013 (UTC)