Talk:Plumb (Field Music album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Famous Hobo (talk · contribs) 00:17, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

I'll take this one up. Expect some comments tonight. Famous Hobo (talk) 00:17, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

• Thanks Famous Hobo! — Hunter Kahn 16:40, 26 April 2020 (UTC)

• @Famous Hobo: Any updates on this? --Kyle Peake (talk) 12:34, 6 May 2020 (UTC)

• Famous Hobo do you still plan to review this, or should I ask someone else to take it? — Hunter Kahn 20:54, 18 May 2020 (UTC)

• Hunter Kahn, Famous Hobo hasn't edited on Wikipedia for three weeks. Would you like me to try to find another reviewer, or would you prefer to do it yourself? Thanks, and sorry for the delay. BlueMoonset (talk) 17:12, 20 May 2020 (UTC)
  • Either is fine with me, BlueMoonset. Thank you for the offer. :) What would be the correct way to go about this? Should I remove the "Review" tag this article's listing on the WP:GAN page? Or should I mark it as seeking a second opinion? Or some other method? — Hunter Kahn 17:50, 20 May 2020 (UTC)

• Hunter Kahn, just leave it as it is, and I'll see if the person I have in mind can take this on. If that doesn't work, then we'll go to plan B (which is the 2ndopinion status). BlueMoonset (talk) 18:18, 20 May 2020 (UTC)

• Hunter Kahn and BlueMoonset, I'd be willing to review this article, if that's OK with you two. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 15:11, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
  • Works for me, Thatoneweirdwikier, and thank you! — Hunter Kahn 21:04, 19 June 2020 (UTC)
    • Hunter Kahn, that's perfect. It's 10pm where I am so I'll sleep now and I'll be back tomorrow with the review. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 21:22, 19 June 2020 (UTC)
    • Alright, I'll start my review now. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:34, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

Lede

• "With 15 tracks over just 35 minutes..." Remove the word "just".
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
• "Plumb has been described as a 'melting pot of genres, influences, and styles'..." There is a source here – is this definitely mentioned in the body?
  • Yes it is, in the reviews section. The only reason I use the citation here as well is because it's a direct quotation. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
• "...incorporating elements from each of the Brewis brothers' earlier side projects, including the funk style of Peter Brewis' The Week That Was, and the new wave and synth rock of David Brewis' School of Language." This is quite a mouthful! I would remove the specific phrase "each of the Brewis brothers' earlier side projects, including" to get "incorporating elements from the funk style of Peter Brewis' The Week That Was, and the new wave and synth rock of David Brewis' School of Language." Or something like that.
  • Good call; reworded along these lines. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
• "...and dissatisfaction with consumerism and other aspects of the modern world." Change the second "and" to something like "as well as".
  • Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Background

• "...the band was attracted to because of the political, economic, environmental implications of such stations." There should be an "and" after the word "economic".
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Musical style and composition

Album structure

• "David Brewis said the individual tracks are modular and shift rapidly between sections in a more linear way than normally found on a pop album." The surname can be removed – they have already been introduced as Peter and David. This comes up in a couple of other places too.
  • The way I had been doing it is I referred to them as "David Brewis" or "Peter Brewis" at the beginning of a given section, and then by first name only in each subsequent reference within that section. But if you disagree with that, I can remove the last names but all from the very first references in the body of the article. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
    • If that's the way you're doing it, fair enough. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 04:51, 8 July 2020 (UTC)

Mix of genres

• "Plumb incorporated elements from the side projects of each of the Brewis brothers' side projects, including the funk style of Peter Brewis' The Week That Was and the new wave and synth rock of David Brewis' School of Language." The side projects of the side projects? Remove the duplicate.
• Oops, LOL. Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Instrumentation and vocals

• "Songs like "A New Town" and "Is This The Picture?" in particular features falsetto vocals..." Remove the 's' from the end of "features".
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Lyrics and themes

• "Lavery described the album as an 'existential crisis in a post-industrial north-east town', and, likewise..." I would replace the "and" with a semicolon – the sentence will flow better.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
• "Lemmon wrote the album addresses themes of..." Is this meant to be a quote or is it saying that it was the way the album was written (if that makes sense)?
  • The latter, I think. He is identifying themes that the album addresses. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
    • I would probably add a "that" between "wrote and "the". User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 04:53, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
      • Done. — Hunter Kahn 21:06, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
• "...to mean that to have more money is to have status ... It's become..." I'm not a professional quoter, but I think square brackets need to be used between the "...".
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
• "Plumb also included lyrics about everyday life for the British working class. highlighting..." There is a full stop where there should be a comma."
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Note to Thatoneweirdwikier, I have to stop here for now but will finish the rest either tonight or early tomorrow. Thank you! — Hunter Kahn 21:16, 7 July 2020 (UTC)

Fine by me. Thanks for your work so far! User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 04:53, 8 July 2020 (UTC)

Recording and production

• "Prior to the recording of Plumb, Field Music had shared studio space for 10 years with the band The Futureheads. It was called 8 Music, part of an arts cooperative. That studio became unavailable after the community building in which it was located was closed down, due to the Recession. So Field Music built their own new studio..." These few sentences feel awkward. I would suggest a rewrite.
  • I made an attempt at a rewrite, let me know if that is better. — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
    • Perfect. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:10, 9 July 2020 (UTC)

Release

• "He felt they compliment Field Music well..." Surely this should be in the past tense.
  • Yup. Fixed! — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)

Sales

• "This section is too small. I think it should be combined with the critical reception to create a "Reception" section, with "Critical reception" and "Commercial performance".
  • I think I've made the change you suggested, but please make sure I did it correctly? — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
    • Yep! User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:11, 9 July 2020 (UTC)
• "Received a boost in sales after the album was..." There should be an "It" at the beginning here.
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
• "...on 1 November 2012, the Official Charts Company announced Plumb had experienced a 17% increase in sales following the nomination announcement." We already know there was a boost, so I would consider merging this and the previous part of the sentence (before the semicolon) together.
  • Does the new wording work? — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
    • It sure does. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:11, 9 July 2020 (UTC)

Critical reception

Reviews

• "Tim Cain called Plumb Field Music's best album.,..." What's with the first full stop?
  • Misplaced period, fixed that. — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
• "...structurally sound creations (that) hide in..." The brackets are not needed – an ellipses is.
  • Are you sure about that? I think the "that" is needed to make the quote fragment grammatically correct... — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah yes! I'm not sure what trance I slipped into there. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:08, 9 July 2020 (UTC)
• "Field music [sic] may be Britains [sic] greatest current group." The [sic]s here should be replaced with the sic [sic] template.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
• This section is incredibly long – arguably way longer than need be. I would recommend a trim-down of the reviews.
  • I trimmed it a bit. I realize it's still a bit long and probably wouldn't pass muster at FAC like this, but I think it's sufficient for GA now. But if you think I should trim it further, let me know! 21:06, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
    • The trimming should be sufficient for now. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:11, 9 July 2020 (UTC)

Mercury Prize nomination

•  Nothing to comment on here – good job!

Charts

• This section is very short. I would combine with the sales section.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 20:56, 8 July 2020 (UTC)

Concluding note – placing on hold

@Hunter Kahn: I have finished my review. Placing this nom  On hold for seven fourteen (long article, lots of stuff) days. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 08:19, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

...pinging Hunter Kahn again as it has been nearly a week. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 17:58, 26 June 2020 (UTC)

• Hey, apologies Thatoneweirdwikier, personal circumstances have made it difficult to find time for Wikipedia recently, but I'll try to get to this in the next two or three days... — Hunter Kahn 11:27, 28 June 2020 (UTC)
  • Hunter Kahn, no problem. Hope everything is alright. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 12:00, 28 June 2020 (UTC)
  • Considering Hunter Kahn has not edited for a while, I will give them seven more days to begin their answering of critiques, otherwise I will fail the article (with no offense given to Hunter Kahn). User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 21:33, 4 July 2020 (UTC)
    • Hey Thatoneweirdwikier. I apologize for my inactivity; some personal issues kept me off Wikipedia much longer than I expected, but I am back now and plan to start working on this no later than tomorrow. I appreciate your patience! — Hunter Kahn 21:01, 6 July 2020 (UTC)
      • No problem. Whenever you're ready. User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:03, 7 July 2020 (UTC)
        • I think I've responded to everything Thatoneweirdwikier, but let me know if you have any follow-ups. Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 21:06, 8 July 2020 (UTC)
          • No follow ups here, therefore, I will now pass the article – thanks for your dedication! User:Thatoneweirdwikier | Conversations and Contributions 05:14, 9 July 2020 (UTC)