Talk:Sasaki Tōichi/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Zawed in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 06:20, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
I will take a look at this one. Comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 06:20, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you for taking up this review, Zawed. RGloucester — ☎ 12:59, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
Comments
editLead
- Link Lieutenant General
- was a Japanese soldier. suggest "was a soldier of the Imperial Japanese Army." Or alternatively, start the following sentence: " Serving in the Imperial Japanese Army, he was known as an expert on Chinese affairs..."
Early Life
- Pedantic I know, but mention Japan as country of birth
- Link Ehime Prefecture, Major, Imperial Japanese Army
- ...in November 1905, and in June 1906, entered... so you don't have years in close succession, suggest "..., and the following June, entered..."
- service as an infantry second lieutenant I don't think it is necessary to state infantry here, the unit he serves with is an infantry one.
Early career and travels across China (1911–1921)
- The second sentence is very long, suggest breaking it up.My suggestion: "learn Mongolian and Chinese. Accordingly, he..."
- Sasaki received praise for his conduct of negotiations...
- It is not clear whose safe conduct; his battalion or the revolutionaries?
- on foot
,and documenting - Siberia Expeditionary Army. I thought the red link might be in error so did a quick scout around. It may actually be the "Siberian Expeditionary Army", which seems to be referred to in quite a few Japanese soldier bios on Wikpedia. Still a red link though.
- Semyonov,
who'swhose presence
As liaison to the Kuomintang (1922–1924)
- Guangzhou had fallen into the hands of Chen Jiongming seems a little informal. Suggest "Guangzhou was controlled by Chen Jiongming}}
- Sasaki went on to eagerly study suggest "Sasaki eagerly studied..."
- though he did not think much of
Chianghim at the time
In Tokyo, Beijing and Nanjing (1924–1927)
- The presentation/spelling of Ōkawa Shūmei's name is inconsistent in this section.
- link lieutenant colonel
- Sasaki who
, as mentioned above,still despised... - and had
begun an attack onattacked Hankou
Jinan incident and aftermath (1928–1931)
- For most of this section, the month and year is recited, even though it is clear it is still the same year. Only need to mention the year on first mention until it changes. There are a couple of instances of this in previous sections as well.
- link Major General, colonel
- Sasaki's Chinese adjutant
screamed out amade pleas - to embed with the National Revolutionary Army use the abbreviation NRA.
- he received no punishment suggest "he was not punished."
In Manchuria (1932–1937)
- The last sentence of this section needs a cite.
Second Sino-Japanese War (1937–1941)
- The second sentence of the first paragraph RE his participation in the Battle of Nanking needs to be cited.
- link lieutenant general
Later life
- Dupe link: Second World War
References
- Place of publication for Sasaki 1963, Tobe 2016.
That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 10:49, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
- I think I've taken care of all of these. I'd also appreciate some more general commentary on whether you think any part of the article is lacking in terms of coverage, &c, if you feel like offering it. RGloucester — ☎ 15:56, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
- For the most part I thought the coverage was OK. Looking at it again, a couple of things do stick out now, and that is the lack of coverage of his time as commander of the Kenpeitai in China, which I see has since been changed to North China. Is there any further detail that could be provided there, and on whether the 149th Division was involved in any engagements against the Soviets (since he was captured by them or did he just surrender to them?). Zawed (talk) 07:00, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
- I will consult the relevant sources and see what I can find. I admit, access is somewhat limited (unfortunately, the Japanese are not known for taking to digitalisation), but I'll do my best! RGloucester — ☎ 13:37, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
- I'm working on this, but it will take a little while. As it happens, there is some confusing information available. In the first place, Sasaki was appointed to the post of 'Commander of the Kenpeitai in China', and he served in that post. But it seems as if the jurisdiction of that post was limited to 'North China', due to some reorganisation that took place. I'll continue consulting the relevant sources until I can come to conclusion on this matter. The specific details of what Sasaki did as commander, however, seem unlikely to be found, as according to Kouketsu Atsushi most Kenpeitai-related records were burned at the end of war. Kouketsu does, however, describe the actions of the specific 'Kenpeitai in China' that Sasaki commanded, but he doesn't specifically mention Sasaki, so I suppose I can't use that. Generally, it seems that this 'Kenpeitai in China' were not really a military police at all, but responsible for dealing with 'anti-Japanese elements', or at least, that's what Kouketsu Atsushi says in this book. RGloucester — ☎ 14:29, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
- I've done what I can with what's available to me. RGloucester — ☎ 16:14, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
- I'm working on this, but it will take a little while. As it happens, there is some confusing information available. In the first place, Sasaki was appointed to the post of 'Commander of the Kenpeitai in China', and he served in that post. But it seems as if the jurisdiction of that post was limited to 'North China', due to some reorganisation that took place. I'll continue consulting the relevant sources until I can come to conclusion on this matter. The specific details of what Sasaki did as commander, however, seem unlikely to be found, as according to Kouketsu Atsushi most Kenpeitai-related records were burned at the end of war. Kouketsu does, however, describe the actions of the specific 'Kenpeitai in China' that Sasaki commanded, but he doesn't specifically mention Sasaki, so I suppose I can't use that. Generally, it seems that this 'Kenpeitai in China' were not really a military police at all, but responsible for dealing with 'anti-Japanese elements', or at least, that's what Kouketsu Atsushi says in this book. RGloucester — ☎ 14:29, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
- I will consult the relevant sources and see what I can find. I admit, access is somewhat limited (unfortunately, the Japanese are not known for taking to digitalisation), but I'll do my best! RGloucester — ☎ 13:37, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
- For the most part I thought the coverage was OK. Looking at it again, a couple of things do stick out now, and that is the lack of coverage of his time as commander of the Kenpeitai in China, which I see has since been changed to North China. Is there any further detail that could be provided there, and on whether the 149th Division was involved in any engagements against the Soviets (since he was captured by them or did he just surrender to them?). Zawed (talk) 07:00, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
- I realise I missed a couple of my checks:
- Dupe links: other than the ones already noted, Imperial Japanese Army General Staff Office
- Image tag checks out OK
That's it. Zawed (talk) 09:18, 16 May 2021 (UTC)
- Anything else that needs doing? RGloucester — ☎ 18:22, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
- This looks good. I am passing it as GA as I believe it meets the relevant criteria. Good work. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 11:29, 21 May 2021 (UTC)
- Anything else that needs doing? RGloucester — ☎ 18:22, 20 May 2021 (UTC)