Talk:Tali'Zorah

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tali'Zorah/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 09:22, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

I'll take this one. I hope this helps relieve the GA backlog. Expect something soon. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:22, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

First Pass

Okay, I have been over the article. Most of it is alright, but I have enumerated the issues I could find on this pass.

Lead: "..who serves as a party member, or "squadmate", in all three trilogy video games." Reads poorly. Maybe "all three games in the Mass Effect trilogy" would sound better. Later, if a new trilogy appears in which Tali'Zorah is not involved, it can be altered to "original Mass Effect trilogy.

Characteristics: "Tali is very loyal to the fleet, and her voice actor Liz Sroka describes her as willing to sacrifice her life for it." Wrong gender. It's "actress", not "actor".

Creation and Development: "New York City actor Ash ("Liz") Sroka voices Tali throughout the Mass Effect trilogy," same as above, wrong gender.

Appearances: "While on her Pilgrimage, Tali discovers that a rogue Spectre (elite agent of the galaxy's central government[25][26])," I might put the references after the bracket and the comma. It would still reference the information there.

This is only a first pass. Once these issues have been addressed, I will go over the article a second time to check for anything further. --ProtoDrake (talk) 11:35, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

All of that should be done. Added a comma before "who serves..." since it seemed to run on too long. – Bellum (talk) (contribs) 15:34, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

Second Pass

Thanks for the above. Have made a second pass and found only one thing amiss. Once this is addressed, I think the article can be passed.

Reception: Not sure the red link to Citadel should be there. Seem to remember red links can look off-putting. I would either remove the link or link it to the page for Mass Effect 3's downloadable content (until or unless the Citadel DLC gets its own article).

That's it. --ProtoDrake (talk) 15:54, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

The link's there because I was working on an article for Citadel (it's in my userspace right now, mostly blank). I probably will come back to it one day, but in all honesty with me that could be anywhere from "a few days" to "several months later". I'll remove the link for now, but one day when the stars are shining bright... it can come back, filled with glory.. – Bellum (talk) (contribs)

Understood. I wish you good luck on your article. --ProtoDrake (talk) 16:36, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

Verdict

I think now that this article can easily qualify as a GA. Well done. If all your future articles are this well-written and referenced, your presence will be true boon to Wikipedia's Video Game space. --ProtoDrake (talk) 16:36, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

External links modified

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I have just modified 24 external links on Tali'Zorah. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.thegamingliberty.com/2011/08/talizorah-nar-rayya-speaks-an-interview-with-ash-sroka/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://uk.ign.com/articles/2012/03/05/mass-effect-3-producer-talks-sexual-preferences
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamesradar.com/mass-effect-2-romance-guide/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.ugo.com/games/mass-effect-3-romance-guide-tali
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.1up.com/features/uncanny-valley-love?pager.offset=1
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.videogamer.com/xbox360/mass_effect_3/news/bioware_to_show_talis_face_in_mass_effect_3.html
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://ocremix.org/info/Composer_Interview%3A_Wall_of_Sound
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-07-24-bioware-artist-reveals-cut-mass-effect-ideas
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2011/07/03/bioware-struggling-with-tali-39-s-unmasking.aspx?PageIndex=7
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-03-23-mass-effect-3-nearly-didnt-have-tali-as-a-playable-character
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.oxmonline.com/mass-effect-interview-bioware-leads-pick-their-toughest-death-and-more
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/02/23/tali-revealed-as-mass-effect-homeworlds-39-second-character.aspx
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://uk.ign.com/articles/2012/01/05/10-best-mass-effect-teammates
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.ugo.com/games/mass-effect-3s-best-squad-members
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.ugo.com/games/best-video-game-companions
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamesradar.com/videogame-characters-wed-go-gay-for-part-2/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2010/05/25/casting-the-mass-effect-movie.aspx
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.joystiq.com/2010/06/15/interview-bioware-casey-hudson-on-the-making-of-mass-effect-2/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamesradar.com/amazing-fan-art-unmasks-talis-face-from-mass-effect-2/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://uk.ign.com/articles/2011/10/08/revealing-talis-face-in-mass-effect-3
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamesradar.com/12-gaming-mysteries-we-want-solved-in-2011/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamesradar.com/mass-effect-3-what-we-want-to-see/
• Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.gamezone.com/products/mass-effect-3/news/mass-effect-3-fans-upset-with-bioware-s-use-of-stock-image
• Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131002073104/http://uk.gamespot.com/shows/holiday-gift-guide-2012/?event=mass_effect_cards20121119 to http://uk.gamespot.com/shows/holiday-gift-guide-2012/?event=mass_effect_cards20121119

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MOS:SURNAME concerns

This article seems to use its subject's forename exclusively. This is in violation of MOS:SURNAME which states "After the initial mention of any name, the person should generally be referred to by surname only" and "Generally speaking, subjects should not be referred to by their given name." So all of the use the subject's forename should be changed to the subject's surname.

As examples, this is how the article current reads:

Tali is a quarian, one of a nomadic alien race driven from their homeworld by a race of software-based intelligences which they created, the geth. As a quarian, Tali must wear a full-body environmental suit due to her race's weaker immune systems, which also has the effect of hiding her physical appearance and facial features. Tali is first introduced on her Pilgrimage, a quarian rite where young adults leave to obtain a gift for a captain so as to be allowed to join their crew.

While this is how it should read:

Zorah is a quarian, one of a nomadic alien race driven from their homeworld by a race of software-based intelligences which they created, the geth. As a quarian, Zorah must wear a full-body environmental suit due to her race's weaker immune systems, which also has the effect of hiding her physical appearance and facial features. Zorah is first introduced on her Pilgrimage, a quarian rite where young adults leave to obtain a gift for a captain so as to be allowed to join their crew.

-- Millionsandbillions (talk) 19:41, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

I'm hesitant to apply MOS:SURNAME here. Tali is a fictional character, and this is not a biography; while real people are generally referred to by surname in any formal discussion (some exceptions granted), I don't think any such standard really exists for characters. At least on Wikipedia, Lara Croft switches between first name and last name freely to suit flow and clarity, and Homer Simpson is firmly first name only -- and I think this trend would reflected in most coverage of the characters. (The Homer example's a bit unfair, since in that case calling him Simpson could easily lead to confusion between the other family members and the show itself.) Certainly, pretty much all the sources cited in this article refer to the character as, if not her full name, Tali alone and never Zorah. (As far as I remember, this trend is reflected in the series itself.)

I don't want to say all characters should be first name either, of course. But as far as fictional entities go, I think it'd be best to consider what names they're generally referred to (in some cases, like Lara or Deus Ex's Adam Jensen, I think you'd have a free hand to choose or switch between either). As an opposite: Fallout: New Vegas has a character called "Mr. House", almost always called that when not simply called "House". But his first name is mentioned, and if we referred to him as Robert it'd be madly confusing for everyone reading. Similarly, I genuinely think recurringly calling this character Zorah would be misleading for new readers and simply confusing for readers aware of the character. – The Millionth One (talk) (contribs) 21:49, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

Tali'Zorah is probably one name, and if it is, then the subject should be referred to as Tali'Zorah. WPEditor42 (talk) 18:59, 14 August 2022 (UTC)

External links modified

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• Added archive https://www.webcitation.org/6HNWC0lUS?url=http://www.thegamingliberty.com/2011/08/talizorah-nar-rayya-speaks-an-interview-with-ash-sroka/ to http://www.thegamingliberty.com/2011/08/talizorah-nar-rayya-speaks-an-interview-with-ash-sroka/
• Added archive https://www.webcitation.org/6HwbOBVgk?url=http://www.1up.com/features/uncanny-valley-love?pager.offset=1 to http://www.1up.com/features/uncanny-valley-love?pager.offset=1
• Added archive https://www.webcitation.org/6EdHSIsz0?url=http://www.ugo.com/games/mass-effect-3s-best-squad-members?page=2 to http://www.ugo.com/games/mass-effect-3s-best-squad-members

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