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Talk:The Melodic Blue/GA2

< Talk:The Melodic Blue
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Novem Linguae in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 1 year ago5 comments2 people in discussion
Passed. –Novem Linguae (talk) 08:15, 1 June 2023 (UTC)Reply

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Novem Linguae (talk · contribs) 20:56, 26 May 2023 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):   See below. Will pass when most of the suggestions below are actioned.  
    b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):   Looks good. I checked a comparison article, and this rapper studio album article looks like it's supposed to.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a. (reference section):   Plenty of inline citations.
    b. (citations to reliable sources):   Reference spot checks all passed. Only one unreliable reference spotted out of around 80, noted below. All non-lead paragraphs contain plenty of inline citations.
    c. (OR):   No problems spotted with original research.
    d. (copyvio and plagiarism):   See below. Earwig looked good, except for one phrase which can be adjusted. Most hits were proper nouns or quotations.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a. (major aspects):   Covers everything from pre-album, to production, to release and reception.
    b. (focused):   Article size looks fine.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:   Will pass once some tone issues listed below are addressed.  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):   One fair use image. The image contains a fair use rationale.
    b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):   The article could use another image, for example of Baby Keem. However such an image is not available. Not much can be done, it is outside our control.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/fail:  

(Criteria marked   are unassessed)

Comments

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Hello FormalDude. Thanks for nominating a good article. I plan to do this review shortly. –Novem Linguae (talk) 20:56, 26 May 2023 (UTC)Reply

Infobox

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  • Caption is a bit ambiguous. I assume Baby Keem is the person sitting on the rainbow dock, and that the deluxe edition artwork contains the rainbow dock but without him seated on it? Consider re-wording to make all this clearer.
  • "The standard artwork" -> "Standard edition album artwork"
  • Why so many producers? Is it normal to include so many producers in the infobox?
    •   Done.

Lead

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  • Maybe wikilink "studio album". Music industry jargon that may be useful for readers to have wikilinked.
  • "featured guest appearances by Kendrick Lamar, ..." - maybe add "by rappers Kendrick Lamar, ...". I find it helpful to describe who people are when listing them.
  • "Don Toliver; an updated" - I'm not a big fan of semicolons. I think in most cases they can be refactored into periods / two sentences. This seems like a spot where we could just use two sentences.
  • The lead seems a little short and dry. Is there additional information in the body that the lead could summarize? Is there anything interesting about the album that could be mentioned? By dry I mean that it just kind of recites off who the producers are, who the gest appearance singers are, what its associated singles are, etc. What's unique and interesting about this album? Is it the album that catapulted this rapper to fame?
    •   Done

Background

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  • "and said about West" - comma after
  • "The album demonstrates a progression" - demonstrates seems like the wrong word, maybe change to "shows"
  • "onto a hoodie" - wikilink hoodie in case this is American slang? I think UK calls it something else like jumper
  • "working alongside Kendrick Lamar and Travis Scott, whom Keem said was" - is this in reference to Lamar or Scott or both? consider splitting into two sentences so that you can specify whom in the 2nd sentence
    •   Done

Recording and production

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  • "in his featured tracks" - what's a featured track? consider wikilinking or adding an explanation
  • "which Keem also worked on" - to eliminate the "also", consider changing to "which Keem assisted with"
  • "eventually leading to Keem publicly claiming that" -> "eventually leading Keem to publicly claim that"
  • " MixedByAli, a sound engineer for the album, said "Baby Keem is a creative genius. The fact that he produces the majority of all his records — he's super involved in every aspect of it."" is very high praise from someone who has a conflict of interest. Is it DUE to include it? Consider softening or removing.
    •   Done

Release and promotion

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  • dropped the single "family ties," - capitalize Family Ties, move comma outside quotes (MOS:INOROUT)
  • "The song's trumpet intro and intense back-and-forth between Keem and Lamar set high expectations for the rest of the album." - Consider rewording. Feels a bit subjective. Perhaps something like "The song was praised for its trumpet intro and intense back-and-forth between Keem and Lamar. The song's positive reviews created excitement for the rest of the album."
  • "released the single "Durag Activity"" - comma after
  • "Keem surprised fans" - paragraph break before. new idea
  • "which spanned across" - consider rewording to be less hypey and more factual. e.g. "which visited"
  • "Keem also dedicated time to touring and performing" - "Keem also performed"
    •   Done

Commercial reception

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  • By the second week - comma after
    •   Done

Critical reception

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  • "compared Keem to a "pre-costume superhero learning to control the lightning that pours from his hands."" - consider deleting. this kind of metaphor / hyperbole doesn't seem very encyclopedic. The second part of the sentence covers the reviewer's feelings in the more expected encyclopedic tone.
  • "charismatic and hilarious" at times - comma after
  • most notably on "South Africa" and "Gorgeous" - comma after
  • "instead of making the album a confessional" - what's it mean to make an album a confessional? consider clarifying or deleting. also may want to wikilink confessional
  • "lauded over his verse on "Family Ties"" - consider rewording. "lauded over" seems a bit odd, isn't it usually just "lauded" with no preposition?
  • "suggesting it being among" - suggesting it was among
  • ""triumphantly skips over horns and thudding 808s with a handful of flows and reminisces on childhood Popeyes trips while puffing out his chest."" - no idea what this sentence means. reword or delete? need more context at a minimum. is the music video being referred to here?
    •   Done

Miscellaneous

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@Novem Linguae: I believe I've addressed all your concerns. Thank you for the review! ––FormalDude (talk) 00:15, 1 June 2023 (UTC)Reply

I agree. Thanks for addressing those concerns and for writing a good article. Very nice job. Passing. –Novem Linguae (talk) 08:13, 1 June 2023 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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