Talk:Tom's Rhinoplasty/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Flash ^{talk} 01:47, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Yello! Saw this at GAN and I'd love to assist WP:SP on their FT project, so I'll be reviewing this article. Looks good but I do have a number of small concerns. Check out Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for my structural system in reviews, and let's get started. The Flash ^{talk} 01:47, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Lead

• Can you come up with a better adjective then "insanely"?
  • Extremely? — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "'Tom's Rhinoplasty', the show's first Valentine's Day epiosde,[...]" -> typo
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Forgot to add a quotation marker after "Species."
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "Wrapped" seems a bit slang-ish, am I wrong? Perhaps, "concluded"?
  • Concluded it is. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Plot summary

• Who does Wendy suggest ideas to? Stan?
  • Correct. Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Wikilink to Kenny's page.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "Concurrently, a large group of women rampages the streets[...]" -> "[...]group of women rampage[...]"
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Combine the second and third sentences in the third paragraph, please.
  • Ok. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "She also thanks Mrs. Kimball (one of the women from the group of women that chased Garrison)[...]" -> "She also thanks one of the women from the group that chased Garrison named Mrs. Kimball"
  • Ok. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• I'm a bit confused—by "figures out what actually happened" do you mean that Wendy framed Ms. Ellen and caused her death by Iraqis? If so, it needs to be clarified.
  • Let me know if that is clearer. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Production

• It mentions Parker directed, too, but the infobox and the lead mention that the director was uncredited.
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "[...]but Comedy Central censors made them change the line.[...]" -> "made Parker and Stone"
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Is that bit about the Postal controversy actually a "production" note?
  • Moved to Reception. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "[...]in the background that looks exactly Craig Tucker[...]" -> "looks exactly like Craig Tucker"
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• I think some of the bits about Wendy saying "fuck" for the first time and things like it should be moved in the "Cultural references" section, though that should be renamed "Cultural references and impact"
  • Moved that bit and renamed the section. If you think other stuff should be moved to, let me know what. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "The idea featured in the script of Ms. Ellen taking one of the children to dinner for passing[...]" -> awkwardly worded there, don't you think?
  • I fixed it a bit. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Maybe you should move their surprise about fan reaction to the "Reception" section?
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Theme

• There's no mention in the plot about Garrison being a model.
  • I changed the Plot summary part a bit to address it. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Nothing else here, but maybe you can expand it with some of the bits at "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" and "Weight Gain 4000"?
  • I added a bit. Is this what you meant? — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Cultural references

• You should rename the section to "Cultural references and impact"
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• The first paragraph should be broke up a bit.
• OK. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• Delink to Hasselholf (already linked above)
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "When Ms. Ellen asks the class the last lesson[...]" -> "asks the class about the last lesson"
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Reception

• Rename "Reception and release" (?)
  • Ok. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
• "[...]in a three-DVD in November 1998." -> "in a three-disc DVD" perhaps?
  • Changes to "three-disc DVD set". — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Images

• All 3 images are fine; the infobox image has a very weak rationale though, so can you beef it up at all? Just a passing mention of the animation process would even be suitable.
• Can you change the caption for the infobox image? It's rather....lackluster, ya know?
  • I think the new caption addresses both these concerns. — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Final say

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   There's still an awkward and abrupt transition between "Wendy reclaims Stan as her boyfriend" and "Wendy speaks with the Iraqi men in fluent Arabic and pays them with a wad of American money."

   • I think I fixed it now. — Hunter Kahn 01:01, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   IMDb link in Ref 19 is throwing it all off; I'd suggest removing the link entirely.

   • Done. — Hunter Kahn 01:01, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Needs those two things fixed, but other then that looking great. Fix those and I'll pass this. Cheers, The Flash ^{talk} 23:58, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

I've gone ahead and passed it. Great work, The Flash ^{talk} 01:15, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

• Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 02:39, 15 January 2010 (UTC)