Talk:Tracey Moberly

A few things

This isn't supposed to be a full review so much as... well, a few things I noticed about this article that I think could use attention:

• "formerly Sanders-Wood"? What? Was that her maiden name? Then you'll want to use "née" instead of "formerly."
• What does "SMS text message" mean? You might want to explain that for us old folks. Or, as people often do on Wikipedia, you can write out what SMS stands for, then put SMS in parentheses.
• External links in the body of an article are generally frowned upon.
• Positive tone, and organization. It's hard, I realize, especially when writing on a topic that you admire, to keep things sharp and to the point. But that's really for the best. Hopefully, other editors will come along and help smooth out some of the more positive wrinkles. (We like our bone-dry facts here, thankyouverymuch :D)
• General style. Yes, all Wikipedia articles conform to certain guidelines. (Yes, it does sometimes seem a little silly.) Anyway, you can see the whole lot at Wikipedia:Manual of Style, or just read some other Wikipedia articles. The little things -- like, titles of novels are italicized, and titles of TV episodes get quotes -- will come in time, don't worry.

I hope I have been at least some help. (This is my first time responding to a request for feedback -- can't ya tell? ;)

Bobnorwal (talk) 04:52, 1 July 2011 (UTC)

Many thanks for your valuable feedback. To answer your points..

• "formerly Sanders-Wood" - the artists' maiden name (née) is 'Wood'. 'Sanders-Wood' was her name through her first marriage, now dissolved. It is relevant as this was the name by which she first established her reputation as an artist, and is also the name she uses for her website (sanderswood.com). She remarried in 2004, and any citations originating prior to that year would have used her former married name. 'Artists in Britain since 1945' incorrectly refers to this as her maiden name. I couldn't think of a better way to express this than the word 'formerly'... any thoughts gratefully received...
• "SMS text message" - point taken, I have linked to the article of the same name and also added it to the 'see also' section.
• external links - duly noted and adjusted. I have kept one (the press release link) as it just seems to make more sense positioned inline.
• positive tone, and general style - quite understood. I have neutralised the article a little, and will continue to tone it down. I was already aware that it is full of stylistic inconsistencies but I was keen to get the piece up knowing that I could be able to revise this after 'publication'. I will read the style guide carefully and modify accordingly.

Thanks again for your feedback: this was really helpful as it's my first full article.

Finiwiki (talk) 21:04, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Dispute?

Can I remove the template at the top of article now? Gordo (talk) 12:50, 26 October 2012 (UTC)