Talk:Warfare in Minoan Art

1. Your opening should focus on the basics of Warfare in Minoan Art. Don’t center your opening around the argument one author makes in a paper. You do a good job stating specific chronology and geography- stick with that trend. I would maybe add what type of art Minoan art was (frescos?), where you normally saw it (palaces? Regular homes? Funerary contexts?)

2. Your next header is named seals but it seems you’re talking more about animals generally (lions)- potentially change title to “Animals depicted in Minoan art”

3. Remember to cite everything! You don’t have any citations yet!

4. Good connection of seals with their symbolic natural in warfare

5. Make sure you are consistent in your paragraphs. If you are talking about seals in warfare art, talk all about seals before then switching to lions. Don’t switch back and forth between talking about seals, then lions, then seals again because it can get confusing

6. I would add pictures of what seals in Minoan art looked like so readers can get a better idea of what animal imagery can show

7. You talk about a specific image (or at least a repeated image) of a vertical seal with a man. I would mention a specific name of artwork and add a picture so readers can follow along visually with what you are describing.

8. I would talk briefly about the process of frescos painting to uninformed readers have an idea of how this style of artwork was different from others

9. You don’t talk specifically of what warfare art in frescoes painting looked like! I would look to a specific example. Or, look to see oh imagery such as military weapons, battle scenes, the human figure in war were depicted in frescoes style paintings.

10. You hold a section on Akrotiri – but it doesn’t include anything about Minoan Warfare art, or connection of frescoes paining (the section it’s in). It seems very randomly placed and unnecessary- I would consider elaborating in this section or deleting it.

11. Good description of the Chieftain Cup. I would tie this description to common themes seen in Minoan art. For example, you mention that these figures had to be from high society because of their hairstyle. You then could mention how Minoans showed socioeconomic stratification in art by showing differences in how people were styled, etc.

12. You talk about emphasis in the Stone Vessels section but you don’t provide a definition as to what that means. Provide one so the reader isn’t confused about this art technique~

13. The section, “Stone Vessels”, talks only about one specific cup. I would relabel the section to the name of the cup. Or provide more on the generals of art seen on stone vessels.

14. Your citations have broken links and I can’t click on them~

Overall, I think you have a great start. The biggest weakness I see is the wiki is hyper focused on two distinct ideas: animals in Minoan art and your example of the Chieftain Cup. What it missed is an overarching analysis of Warfare in Greek art. I would go over central themes seen in Minoan art and bronze age warfare that we discussed in class and dedicate a good portion of the Wikipedia page to looking at those specifically.

Review

Hi Ki Hwan!

Great Article so far! The major flaw that I see with it is that nothing is really cited yet, which is a huge problem. Other than that, I'm really excited with what you have here!

Keep up the good work! Robert Y. Rob6820 (talk) 00:33, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Prof. Paga

Hi Ki Hwan - you've got a solid start here! In addition to the excellent comments from your peer-reviewer (I agree with all of them and encourage you to address/answer all of them) and from your TF, I have a few suggestions of my own.

• Integrate hyperlinks to other Wikipedia articles throughout (ex: links to Bronze Age, Crete, etc.)
  
• Integrate your citations -- this is VERY important. Without integrated citations, your article might be flagged for plagiarism.
  
• Make sure to use an impartial, encyclopedia-tone. As written, parts of your article sound more like a research essay (for instance, when you quote from Malloy and discuss his work). Stick to the big topic / theme, with some specific examples, rather than trying to report on exactly what Malloy says.
  
• Make sure to proofread carefully. You have several incomplete or ungrammatical sentences.
  
• You include an image of the boxer fresco, but do not actually comment on it at all. Either remove the image, or discuss it. One of your classmates in the Athletics group wrote an entire article on this fresco, so you might want to check that out, too.
  

Jpaga (talk) 18:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Disconnect between title, images, and subject

This issue needs to be fixed or the article is at risk of deletion. None of the images have anything to do with warfare and the text often seems to be off topic.PRehse (talk) 10:09, 7 December 2017 (UTC)