Talk:William Brault/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 00:34, 22 December 2023 (UTC)

Will start shortly. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:34, 22 December 2023 (UTC)

Comments

• "Brault attended St. Luke Grade School and St. Francis Xavier grade school before graduating from Catholic Central High School..." It's best to clarify where the schools were located. Reading the next section it sounds like he grew up in Green Bay, but that is not clear here, and it should be. I'd even recommend moving the first half of the first sentence of the "Business" section ("In 1939, the Brault family moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin" to the "Early life" section. To help with the flow, the "Business" section could start "After moving to Green Bay, the Brault family opened a restaurant, Brault's Cafe, on Main Street. Brault began his career working with his father at the restaurant.", or something like that.
  • Revised per your suggestion. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 26 December 2023 (UTC)
• "As a kid, Brault travelled often with his father's band, the Art Brault's Canadians." Any specific information on where they toured?
  • The source says "to Michigan, Texas and destinations in between" ... I added "nationally" to summarize. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 26 December 2023 (UTC)
• "Brault became associated with tourism after the local chamber of commerce asked him to assist with the formation of the Green Bay Visitor and Convention Bureau." Is there a timeline for when the chamber of commerce reached out?
  • No exact date, although I added "in the early 1960s" based on the sourcing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 26 December 2023 (UTC)

That should be all, and once the above are addressed should be good to go. Kaiser matias (talk) 16:12, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

Thanks Kaiser matias for the review! I think I addressed all your comments. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 26 December 2023 (UTC)

Looks good to me, well done. Kaiser matias (talk) 21:28, 26 December 2023 (UTC)