Talk:Willy Corsari/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:54, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Oddly for me, the lead appears to be too big. Based on the fact that the article really comprises only five paras of text before the big list of selected writing, I'd anticipate a lead which is quite a bit briefer.
• "in Belgium on" comma after Belgium.
• "was singer and" a singer
• "and her mother. Elisabeth Christina Benit" comma.
• "schooling disrupted by" was disrupted.
• "but also enhanced" was. Although this reads odd to me.
• "in Het Volk at" what's that?
• "was destined to be" according to whom?
• "turned out to be better suited" again, according to whom?
• "the stage name Willy" overlinked.
• "continued to ... also continued" repetitive.
• "resumed publishing ... soon resumed" reptitive.
• "her place as a best-selling author" I don't think you mentioned her being a "best-selling" author at all before this. How successful were her books?
• "who became recurring parts of " awkward. What do you really mean?
• "but he died in 1931" who, the son or the husband?
• "Although he separated from his wife" perhaps so before that he was married to someone else.
• Ref 18 should be pp. and use an en-dash in the page range.
• "1880-1960" en-dash.
• "1880-2010" likewise.
• "1897-1998" same.

In general, beside the lengthy lead, the article really needs a good copyedit from a native English speaker. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 08:37, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Thank you for the review. I have made the amendments you have listed and removed some of the lead. Please take a look and tell me if there are other improvements you would like to see. simongraham (talk) 17:17, 11 October 2021 (UTC)