- ALT1:
... that farmers and fishermen earn more money using Farmdrop compared to food distribution supply chains that use middlemen? Sources: [4], [5], [6]
- North America - sorry but my only issue is that the sources seem to say that farmers are receiving a higher percentage of sales revenue through Farmdrop than traditional distributors but an increase in percent of sales revenue doesn't automatically = earning more money as there are a variety of other factors that may be at work; for instance, are sales volumes through Farmdrop equal to sales volumes through supermarkets? If not, farmers could actually be making less money with Farmdrop even though their revenue cut was higher. Again, I might just be misreading this or not looking at the correct portion of the sources provided; if so, let me know. LavaBaron (talk) 01:53, 4 November 2016 (UTC)
- – This source states: "Farmers and producers are given an average of 70 per cent of sale revenue through Farmdrop as opposed to 30 per cent from supermarkets." — This means that producers are earning more using Farmmdrop.
- – This source states: "...buyers are now being offered better quality and fresher food and local farmers and producers a much fairer financial deal." and "...to provide independent producers with a greater share of the retail price, whilst giving people the best, freshest food, making it a fairer deal for all." — Producers earning a greater share of the retail price, and receiving a fairer financial deal equates to them earning more. They're given more money compared to that received from supermarkets; they're earning more.
- – I think you're making this much more complex than it actually is. When using Farmdrop, producers are earning more compared to earnings from their products purveyed at supermarkets. It's unclear why you think equal sales volumes via Farmdrop and at supermarkets would be required to confer with increased earnings, or losses for lack of such equality. The sources don't cover your theory, so there's nothing to state about it in the article or in a hook. North America1000 09:46, 4 November 2016 (UTC)
  Revenue and earnings mean two different things. Revenue is what's earned before deducting the cost of goods while earnings is usually understood (though this point, specifically, could be further split) to be net income. The sources refer to revenue, the hook refers to earnings. It may well be that farmers using Farmdrop also earn more but the sources don't say that and there are so many factors beyond revenue cut that go into calculating earnings I have an issue simply assuming it's true. If it costs me $5 to grow a widget and Farmdrop buys 10 widgets from me for $10 each while Wal-Mart buys 10,000 widgets from me for $6 each, my revenue per unit may be more selling to Farmdrop but I earn more selling to Wal-Mart. However, North America is an experienced editor and I AGF the primary hook, assuming no other editor objects, as being a simple case of my personal ignorance on the question. LavaBaron (talk) 14:31, 4 November 2016 (UTC)
- New reviewer needed to give a full review of nomination. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:00, 15 November 2016 (UTC)
- ALT2:
... that farmers and fishermen get a better price for their produce using Farmdrop compared to food distribution supply chains that use middlemen?
 I agree with LavaBaron that there is a difference between getting a better price for the product and earning more, so I have proposed ALT2. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 11:35, 7 December 2016 (UTC)
- Full review still needed since original reviewer has completely withdrawn and that review is to be disregarded. Struck ALT1 per Cwmhiraeth. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 17:54, 7 December 2016 (UTC)
- New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. ALT2 adequately paraphrases the idea expressed in the sources, but the way it's written in the article seems to skirt around the point: Farmdrop's service also provides a greater value to area farmers and fishermen compared to other types of food purveyance, because "middlemen" distributors are not used in the supply chain, which is more economical. Would you consider writing in the part about getting a higher percentage (or "a better price"), for their products through Farmdrop, rather than it just being "economical"? QPQ done. Yoninah (talk) 23:48, 31 December 2016 (UTC)
- I have copy edited it; see the Overview section. North America1000 05:53, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
- Thank you. But you have just added more words to the sentence while confusing revenue and income, as LavaBaron noted. I suggest you rewrite the sentence and the hook along these lines:
- ALT3:
... that farmers and fishermen receive a higher percentage of revenue from the Farmdrop online delivery company because no middlemen are involved in the supply chain? Yoninah (talk) 11:43, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
- Copy edited more, see diff. Struck ALT2 above in favor of ALT3 above and the below alt.North America1000 22:05, 3 January 2017 (UTC)
|
QPQ for Template:Did you know nominations/The American Girls Premiere
GTG -- Esemono (talk) 13:39, 5 January 2017 (UTC)
