- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 02:44, 27 June 2016 (UTC)
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Icebar Orlando
edit... that in 2008, the projected monthly electric bill for Icebar Orlando, an ice bar in Orlando, Florida, was $3,500?
- Reviewed: Ted Alford
5x expanded by Northamerica1000 (talk). Self-nominated at 01:17, 30 May 2016 (UTC).
date, expansion, QPQ and image licenses all fine. However, the source for the hook fact says that this is the projected (i.e. estimated) bill and does not report it as fact. While we could add estimated to the hook I think there are better options for a hook, perhaps around it being the largest permanent ice bar in the world or the amount of ice used in construction. Pinging @Northamerica1000: to suggest an ALT, I'll happily review again afterwards - Basement12 (T.C) 12:54, 2 June 2016 (UTC)- @Basement12: To keep matters concise, I rewrote the hook above, changing "the average monthly electric bill" to "in 2008, the projected" (diff). The article has also been copy edited to address this. I have devised some alts below; I prefer the first one. North America1000 13:04, 2 June 2016 (UTC)
- ALT1 ...
that at over 1,200 square feet, Icebar Orlando is the world's largest permanent ice bar? - ALT2' ...
that Icebar Orlando is the world's largest permanent ice bar? 
With the rewrite the original is a bit clunky so suggest going with ALT1. AGF for the book source used (though a Google search turns up lots of results from touristy websites stating this fact). GTG - Basement12 (T.C) 13:15, 2 June 2016 (UTC)
There is one instance of close paraphrasing from the source:- Source: efforts were made to limit electric consumption by using bioclimatic filters, which refresh and recycle the cold air.
- Article: Bioclimatic filters that recycle and refresh the cold air are used to reduce electricity consumption.
- Also, the online source for ALT1 says it is " one of the first permanent ones of its kind in the United States". Yoninah (talk) 23:06, 8 June 2016 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: No problem. It's debatable that the article had any close paraphrasing, because information can only be written in so many manners without losing the context of the information. However, in the interest of moving forward, I have rewritten the sentence to read "Bioclimatic filters are used to reduce electricity costs" (diff). I added a source from Orlando Weekly to verify the new alt4 below (diff). Check it out! North America1000 00:43, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
- ALT4: ... that Icebar Orlando claims to be the world's largest permanent ice bar?
- @Northamerica1000: Thank you for taking care of the close paraphrasing. Re the hook, do we really want to rely on the company's website? Instead of going for one of those superlatives, putting in some details about the way the bar operates would be just as hooky. Yoninah (talk) 00:49, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: In this instance, I think it's all right, because although the company claims it, the claim is reported in a reliable source. I saw the superlatives discussion at WT:DYK, but in this instance, a "world's largest" hook that is verified by a reliable source is likely the best hook to use for this article, to generate maximal interest while sticking to facts. North America1000 01:05, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
- @Basement12: Pinging reviewer Basement12 for a second opinion. North America1000 19:40, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
New reviewer needed to give second opinion on ALT4, since Basement12 is on vacation until July 5. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:06, 23 June 2016 (UTC)
