Template:Did you know nominations/Kingseat Hospital

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by Allen3 ^talk 20:39, 2 January 2012 (UTC)
Unresolved issues with close paraphrasing

Kingseat Hospital

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... that according to stuff.co.nz, Kingseat Hospital is the number one haunted spot in New Zealand?

Created/expanded by Haunt of the featherbird (talk). Self nom at 21:00, 12 December 2011 (UTC)

The article is in date and does meet the required length at 1600 odd characters however it feels a bit thin. Although not strictly speaking necessary, would it be possible to add a bit more to make it feel more cohesive? At the moment it more like a list of key dates. I found one sentence which is closely paraphrased (Wikipedia:Close paraphrasing) that will need to be fixed. Compare this sentence in the article "The hospital closed in 1999, when the last patients held in the former mental institution were moved to the rural complex and transported to a newly refurbished secure mental health unit in Otara." to the reference, "The last patients held in the former mental institution will be moved off the rural complex and transported to a newly refurbished secure mental health unit on Bairds Road in Otara." The main bulk of the article text is cited to the book Ghost Hunt: True New Zealand Ghost Stories which I don't have access to. Please carefully review the sentences cited to this source to check there are no similar issues with close paraphrasing and also add the page numbers. In terms of the hook, I don't feel it is necessary to include the website name in the text, it makes it seem promotional. How about this alt hook? France3470 (talk) 22:26, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

(alt)... that Kingseat Hospital, a former psychiatric institution, is considered the number one haunted spot in New Zealand?

Paraphrasing issues still present. Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:12, 28 December 2011 (UTC)