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Template:Did you know nominations/Nasuhi al-Bukhari

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PumpkinSky talk 22:43, 24 September 2012 (UTC)

Nasuhi al-Bukhari

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Created/expanded by Dsp13 (talk), Zozo2kx (talk). Nominated by Zozo2kx (talk) at 14:24, 15 September 2012 (UTC)

  • Everything looks good to me. It's long enough, properly sourced, the hook fact is in the article, the tone is good, there is no plagiarism, it was submitted on time, et cetera. I'd say it's good to go. :) However, someone else should also take a look at this article just to make sure that I didn't miss anything. Futurist110 (talk) 17:48, 21 September 2012 (UTC)
  • To my eye, the article suffers from a bit too much close paraphrasing from the primary source, which almost the entire article is based on. (It's borderline to have so much of an article dependent on a single source, and here it's complicated by the shallowness of the information given.) In particular, there are many-word phrases in the Early Life section that need paraphrasing. I've edited the 1920s pro-French cabinet information into a single sentence that removes some of the close paraphrasing. However, this section needs additional sourcing: it should be easy to find what month both of those cabinets ended. I also get the impression that the first, at least, was not a Syrian cabinet, but a cabinet in one section of a partitioned Syria (for example, see this source for info, though it may not be a reliable source as it appear to be self-published): Haqqi was Governor of Damascus. Haqqi's Wikipedia page says he was Prime Minister in the 1930s, not the 1920s. While you want to avoid WP:SYNTH or WP:OR, you can certainly rephrase to state when each of the cabinets resigned even if you can't also say that Bukhari served until then (though it would be remarkable if he left earlier in the year). I'd advise, however, finding a new source to supplement the article. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:51, 21 September 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks for your review BlueMoonset. I rewrote the whole early life section, and copyedited the rest of the article to make sure there isn't any paraphrasing. I also explained further the "cabinets" in which he served during the twenties. In short, yes, the first one was under the administration of Haqqi al-Azm, governor of Damascus, and the second, as part of council of ministers for the state of Syria (state of Aleppo, and Damascus; excluding the rest). I hope this is satisfactory. Further sources were added as well. Yazan (talk) 08:06, 22 September 2012 (UTC)
  • Adjusted text and sourcing solves the problems discussed above. New offline sources accepted in good faith. Have added an additional instance of ref 1 to support one of the hook facts, since one is required after each relevant sentence. Good job! BlueMoonset (talk) 21:03, 23 September 2012 (UTC)
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