- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:37, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
Paul M. Ellwood
edit- ... that the term "health maintenance organization" (HMO) in the American health care system was coined by pediatric neurologist Paul M. Ellwood, Jr.?
Created/expanded by Cath4138 (talk). Nominated by PFHLai (talk) at 08:19, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Age, length OK. Well-referenced. However, the lead, especially the first paragraph, reads like a newspaper article. Could you just state the facts in a neutral point of view, putting his title in the first sentence (Paul Ellwood is a ...)? Also, do you know his middle name? Other than the lead, the rest of the article reads nicely, and the hook ref is verified. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 22:50, 2 February 2012 (UTC)
- Sorry, I don't know his middle name. Google searching was not successful. --PFHLai (talk) 22:01, 4 February 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for toning down the lede. I just noticed that the Biography section has no sources. Yoninah (talk) 22:48, 4 February 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for adding refs, PFHLai. As I was reformatting some refs, I noticed that there really are no sources for the actual dates in the biography section, such as his years in the Navy, his years of earning degrees at Stanford, his years at Kenny or his years with the Jackson Hole Group. Yoninah (talk) 10:03, 5 February 2012 (UTC)
- Thank you for your fixes, too, Yoninah. I spent quite some time last night net-searching for confirmation for those dates, but failed. I suspect the author has a (hard)copy of Ellwood's CV. BTW, I think Ellwood's middle name is "Murdoch". I am not putting this in, 'coz my source was iffy. --PFHLai (talk) 19:38, 5 February 2012 (UTC)
OK, I found some dates in Who's Who in Health Care. His middle name is not Murdock; that's a different Paul Ellwood. I moved the page to Paul M. Ellwood, Jr., since that's what he goes by. BTW, there are an inordinate number of redirects posted by the page creator. I started to fix some of them, but then gave up. The hook ref is verified. It's ready to go. Yoninah (talk) 10:05, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
