Template:Did you know nominations/Walter Renneisen

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:50, 25 September 2018 (UTC)

Walter Renneisen

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~~... that the actor Walter Renneisen showed Patrick Süskind's one-person-play Der Kontrabaß (The Double Bass) in his own touring production?~~ Source: several

Reviewed: ~~to come~~ Accelerators (comics)

5x expanded by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self-nominated at 23:26, 15 August 2018 (UTC).

, timescale Y; length Y; style Y But the article needs copy edit, some grammar issues is seen. Also this sentence "As a speaker, he has appeared in more than 800 radio plays" can be selected as an extra hook. This is just a suggestion!Saff V. (talk) 13:22, 4 September 2018 (UTC)

The fact that Der Kontrabaß is a play for a single actor is not in the article, and needs to be if this fact is to be used in the hook. I'd also like to suggest that "presented" rather than "showed" be used in the existing hook; you don't really "show" a play. Gerda Arendt, will the requested copy edit be done soon? BlueMoonset (talk) 14:18, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

I am probably not the right person to even see what needs to change. Saff V., can you please be more specific?

ALT1: ... that in a long acting career, Walter Renneisen has presented Patrick Süskind's Der Kontrabaß (The Double Bass) in his own touring production? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:30, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

I added a ref about the piece, supporting the original, and we could also say this:

ALT2: ... that Walter Renneisen has presented Patrick Süskind's Der Kontrabaß (The Double Bass) as actor and producer for 30 years. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:30, 21 September 2018 (UTC)

It would be better than you leave request to do copy edit here or receive help from copyeditors who be listed here, but it takes much more time (sometimes)! As BlueMoonset nominated, there are a few materials about Der Kontrabaß in the article but you emphasize to bring it in the hook. You can add more detail belongs to it in the article or switch to another subject related to Walter Renneisen in the hook. All in all the most important issue is removing the grammatical problem!Saff V. (talk) 14:18, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

I bother GOCE for featured articles, but this is the first time someone requests it for a DYK. I don't understand the grammar of "You can add more detail belongs to it in the article", sorry. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:16, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

I copy-edited yesterday. Will check "show". Please let me know of any other problems outstanding. Jmar67 (talk) 18:50, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

I think what Saff V. means is "you can add more detail related to the hook in the article". Jmar67 (talk) 19:16, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

Thank you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:12, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

, I find out that the copy-edit was done for the article. Now it looks much better and we can see a particular sort among materials that make clear the timeline of the actor's life. So everything checks out, Good to go by ALT1!Saff V. (talk) 12:28, 23 September 2018 (UTC)