User:Hersfold/Weird Stuff

Since BJAODN (Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, for you newbies who came after) has been deleted, I'm having to resort to using my own userspace to hold all the weird stuff I find during my edits. For GFDL compliance, I will note where I took the content so people can go look it up in the history if they wish. In the event I copy text from a page that is likely to be deleted, I will make an effort to find who contributed the content so the contributions don't get deleted.

This is not an endorsement of any sort of nonsense that gets added to Wikipedia. This is simply a personal collection that is kept for the sake of my sanity, and that of those other editors who happen to stroll by here. Except in some extremely rare cases which I can't think of now, any content added to this page will have been removed from its source article for one reason or another. Such content does not belong in an article where it could be misleading or unhelpful, but can certainly provide some entertainment when it's obviously not supposed to be educating. Anything in blatant violation of the really big policies (No personal attacks, Copyrights, etc.) or vandalism that obviously was never intended to be constructive, will not be added. This is solely for information that was added in good faith, but for whatever reason is just weird and doesn't belong.

If you have objections to the content of this page, please attempt to contact me before you put this up for discussion at MfD or some such. I am willing to work with people if you believe I'm violating some policy or something as long as you're willing to work with me. Thanks.

The Blatantly Obvious

For all that which really didn't need to be stated, unless you expect your audience to be completely blown out of their minds.

From AFL Teamcoach

"The cards had corners..." (Chances are the author meant something else, as the sentence did go on to say "...had the total number of game points, the average and the play rate." I still couldn't work out how to word that properly, though, and so just took the whole line out of the article.

- Page deleted (expired prod) on November 23, 2007. See deletion logs and contact an admin to confirm history if required.

The Funny Stuff

For all the rather funny stuff that while nice, just doesn't belong in a Wikipedia article.

From Wikipedia:Articles for creation/2007-09-16

Title of request: Hey hello how the heck are ya????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Text: YAHOO!!!! HERE I AM!!!!!

Reply: Declined. This article provides insufficient context for those unfamiliar with the subject matter. Please see tips on how to better format your article. Precious Roy 23:19, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

From Madness

This actually does serve a useful purpose, I just find it quite amusing. The following is commented out on the Madness page:
"Don't redirect to Sparta. Seriously, it's not funny. If you do, the thousand admins of the Wiki Empire will descend upon you."
Naturally, some vandals still find it quite amusing to reply "Then we will redirect in the shade".

Wroon

Originally created as a joke by students at the University of Maryland, College Park, the "Wroon is a multi-purpose tool used to turn bolts and also serves as an eating utensil." The students even managed to produce "pictures" of wroons (surviving example) which were simply cleverly angled pictures of a wrench laid atop a spoon. The article was deleted to WP:BJAODN on May 20, 2006 and was subsequently permanently lost along with the rest of BJAODN. Admins, however, can still get a good laugh at it. Update: A salvaged version can be found at User:Dchelson/wroon

From User talk:Krimpet and User:Hersfold

In an effort to see if a "new messages" bar appeared when someone edited your user page (not user talk), I asked User:Krimpet in the admins IRC channel to make an edit to my user page. They did, here, with the summary "per IRC". Despite this, Krimpet was reverted mere moments later by the well-intentioned User:Atyndall, who apparently missed the edit summary, and was, as a result, completely befuddled when they went to issue Krimpet a warning: [1]. Fortunately, the situation was explained, and a report to WP:ANI mercifully averted. On a side note, you don't get a "new messages" bar for edits to your user page... which a bunch of admins probably should have known already.

My Block Log

Admins, please double-check who you're blocking... [2]

International Anarchist Tribual

This is not the way to appeal your block. [3]

User:Slakr/TPE

Priceless. Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 22:21, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

User talk:69.129.198.127

This was the best unblock request I've ever seen. He asked for it, though.... Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 05:31, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

From What makes wikipedia more effective than other search engines

Only few of the search engines will provide different cultures and their language support.So wikipedia is the one of the best among them.

- Deleted page posted by Raghuramt 05 (talk · contribs); while we appreciate the sentiment, that doesn't really belong here.

Be careful what you wish for...

...because a bureaucrat might just give it to you: Note the signature. Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 05:32, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

This is a test of the epic fail system

From User talk:Joeperez69

Epic Win

An IP editor manages to make a professional synopsis of the song Baby Got Back: [4]. The IP later got a barnstar for their efforts.

That's not what they're called...

From #wikipedia-en-accounts, all users quoted with permission.
[20:36] <Alpha_Quadrant> is there really a #wikipedia-en-spi
[20:37] <Netalarm> for cockpuppet investigations
[20:37] <Netalarm> er
[20:38] <Netalarm> sock*
[20:38] <Hersfold> Netalarm: those are called condoms

The Stupid Stuff

The stuff that just really isn't helpful at all.

From Orlando Chickahas

They are the team under the ownership of Pat and Sara Ryan Durr. He is one cool cat. The team is never created and im making this up as i go along. i dont really know any off this and im sorry wikiwedia and im a doofy face

- Deleted page posted by Creijays (talk · contribs). At least he's honest.

From User talk:Dan MacQueen

[5] - A blocked user who takes admins at their word. This is why we need to give concise reasons for declining unblock requests instead of sarcastic ones, however tempting it may be. (Of course, that doesn't mean we still won't.)

From #wikipedia-en-admins

DO NOT, EVER, even if someone tells you it's safe to do, type the command !die when there is a bot in the IRC channel. Even if it's safe for their bot, someone else's bot probably isn't secured, and will die, leaving you the object of mass ridicule and abuse. And naturally, that bot's operator won't be online at the time to bring it back up. Yes, I'm an idiot, and should have known better. Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 04:59, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

From Cows in kansas

Kansas Has many cows. 22% of all beef comes from kansas. Kansas is ranked sixteenth in milk production. Cows grow better in Kansas also.

- Deleted page posted by Cows111 (talk · contribs).

User:Harej/FaCE

Details provided on that page; thanks to Harej for preserving this. Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 03:38, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

The Just Plain Weird

For anything else.

Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Old Person Smell

Probably the strangest AfD I've ever participated in, or even seen, but stranger yet was the consensus to move the article to 2-Nonenal rather than delete it. Who'd have thought?

Wikipedia:Help Desk - Nuclear War

Is Wikipedia prepared for a nuclear war? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.161.90.63 (talk • contribs) 21:03, November 16, 2007

Even if the servers don't last, I'm sure the knowledge we've shared will live on for eons to come. Hersfold ^(t/a/c) 21:06, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

(edit conflict) I'm no authority on the matter, but Wikipedia:Preparations for nuclear war and WP:NUCLEARWAR appear to be red links. Leebo ^T/C 21:08, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

I would have thought a system would be in place to ensure servers were protected (ie ensure not located near any US Airbases, or commerical airfields with long runways). Then a system to ensure enough admins and editors are around to contribute to articles, and perform other tasks (perhaps some designated survivors?) -- 86.161.90.63 (talk) 21:15, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

Any system involving the protection of enough survivors would be a general humanity protection plan... anyone can edit! Leebo ^T/C 21:17, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

Not only is Wikipedia prepared for a nuclear war, but if Citizendium doesn't submit to our demands, we do not rule out the use of a first strike. --barneca (talk) 21:24, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

From #wikipedia-en-admins

Quoted with permission:

<WJBscribe> And perhaps suggesting admin tools are akin to testicles is something I shouldn't be quoted on

List of people killed by mosquitoes

Deleted at AfD, the lead of the article stated "It is estimated that mosquitoes have killed half the people who have ever lived. This is a list of notable people who have been killed by mosquitoes.".