User:Keegan/Rfa2

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Keegan 2

Voice your opinion on this candidate (talk page) (?/?/?); Scheduled to end never

Nomination

Keegan (talk · contribs) – Hi there. I'm willing to offer my services as an administrator. It's been five years since my last request for adminship. My first request for adminship was for some controversial other guy, not me.

In the time since my last request I took the opposes quite seriously and have made an effort to learn very little. I believe that I am not competent for even the most simple tasks and, should I be elected into office, I will continue to strive to be as worthless as I am capable of being for this project. Also, when the English Wikipedia is completed this year, I will help to delete the entire thing so we can start over. I also pledge to try to crash the wiki more often to keep people on their toes.

Thank you for your time, I look forward to this big group hug that is Request for Adminship. Keegan (talk) 02:05, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Candidate, please indicate acceptance of the nomination here: I humbly decline. Keegan (talk) 02:09, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Questions for the candidate

Dear candidate, thank you for offering to serve Wikipedia as an administrator. Please answer these questions to provide guidance for participants:

1. What administrative work do you intend to take part in?

A: None

2. What are your best contributions to Wikipedia, and why?

A: None

3. Have you been in any conflicts over editing in the past or have other users caused you stress? How have you dealt with it and how will you deal with it in the future?

A: Tears, that's how I deal with conflict. Tears.

Follow-up: tears in the rain? Ed ^{[talk] [majestic titan]} 04:44, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

A: Turtles, The ed17, turtles. Keegan (talk) 04:55, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from B

4. Under what circumstances would you consider deleting the main page? --B (talk) 02:48, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

A: Please, no outing. Keegan (talk) 04:21, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from Buggie111

5. Assuming you run a base 4-3 defense with elements of the Tampa 2, and you have to decide between landing at Anzio or Salerno, which cheese would you use to distract Cereberus from disrupting the standard sub-molecular processes of organisms on Quentulus Quazgar, Gouda, or Brie? Buggie111 (talk) 04:01, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

A: The hypotenuse of a tarsier as Peyton Manning's split out. Keegan (talk) 04:21, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

That sounds wonderful. On a side note, you are the next starting quarterback of the Buffalo Bills, as you have a pulse and said something football related. Buggie111 (talk) 04:44, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Excellent, I'll only have to play two games before being benched. My agent will be pleased, he can get me a sweet deal with the Browns now. Keegan (talk) 04:55, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Omaha! Omaha! --B (talk) 05:00, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Seeeettttttt, hike! Peyton Manning (talk to no. 18) 07:14, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from Nakon (talk · contribs · blocks · protections · deletions · page moves · rights · RfA)

6. Which Doctor is the best and why is it Peter Capaldi? Nakon

A: Jane Seymour. Keegan (talk) 04:55, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Another additional question from jc37

10,002 - A steward John Doe sends you 3000 emails in 3 seconds, all copy-pastes of a message which, while also outing User:Jimbo Wales personal identity, also notes that on the recently deleted article for Star Wars XII, Where there's a Whill, There's a Way, User:JaneDoe and RichardRoe, both admins and oversighters, have been reverting edits only they can see back n forth every other second on 1-4-2015. While they do so, infoboxes, navboxes, banner templates, em and en dashes, dates, times, fonts, and "in popular culture lists" keep mysteriously appearing and disappearing on the article encyclopedia. What steps would you take, and would they lead to a higher court, upstairs? - jc37 04:51, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

A: tl;dr Keegan (talk) 05:02, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from Ritchie333

∞. Can you lend me five bucks?

A: Here you go. Consider it a gift, not a loan. Keegan (talk) 08:37, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

You'll give me a pony instead? Done. (You certainly have been). Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 08:44, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Have fun with the costs of stable and food. No refunds. Keegan (talk)

Additional question from Liz: Q If a celebrity does not have a Wikipedia article, is it true that they don't really exist?; R Follow-up question, doesn't Wikipedia have a responsibility to have an article on every human being, to indicate that they do exist? We can make space by deleting all of the articles on fictional characters since they don't actually exist (because they aren't really real).

Additional question from Epicgenius, the free epic genius

1.1: Can you give me $100,000?

A: Yes.

1.92: If not, can you give me your car?

A: Yes, if you can retrieve it from 1985. Keegan (talk) 17:15, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

I've seen his car. You really don't want it. Risker (talk) 13:12, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from Anonymous guy

2.3 Under what circumstances would you delete Jimmy Wales?

Proper judgement after evaluation. Keegan (talk) 17:15, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from Mellowed Fillmore

~~:3.14 What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?~~

I am striking this question as it is totally ambiguous as to whether they were talking about an African or European swallow. However, if the candidate says what their favourite colour is, I will let them off. On a related note - are there any women here? Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:43, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

There's no messiah here, only a mess. Keegan (talk) 17:15, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Additional question from User:Titodutta

TD 1: Name any three persons (preferably dead eg. Einstein) who you think could be great Wikipedians?

I don't know that many people's names.

TD 2: You have to block User:Keegan (WMF),find out a persuasive reason.

Been there, done that]. Keegan (talk) 17:17, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

General comments

Links for Keegan: Keegan (talk · contribs · deleted · count · AfD · logs · block log · lu · rfar · spi)
Edit summary usage for Keegan can be found here.

Please keep discussion constructive and civil. If you are unfamiliar with the nominee, please thoroughly review their contributions before commenting.

Discussion

Support

This is a support iff the candidate clarifies, in an edit made after 1 April 2015, whether he intends to stand down if the RFA is not successful. Otherwise this is an oppose. —Soap— 02:21, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Keegan I am deeply ashamed that you, of all people, will decide to disgrace our excellent election process with this abomination of an application. I bet you're one of the people that want to watch the world burn.... you Nickelback fan. —Nickelbackfan101 02:37, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Answers inspire me with confidence that candidate will be an awesome admin (that and the fact that they already are ) ansh 666 03:11, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
I love your answers man! Of course a support duh! Jianhui67^T★C 04:52, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Answers show definitively that despite already being a net gain to the community, Keegan will continue to be a net gain to the community. Buggie111 (talk) 04:44, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Promised to block my #1 WikiEnemy if appointed. 94.206.135.26 (talk) 08:10, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
I stand by that promise. Keegan (talk) 08:16, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Keep well sourced, seems to meet WP:GNG .... hang on, I'm in the wrong place. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 08:20, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
No, you're not. Also meets WP:MUSIC and WP:EVULA, in case you're counting. Keegan (talk) 08:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Because he promise me to delete the main page once he become an Sysadmin or Steward.--AldNon^Ucallin?☎ 08:27, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
My request for shell access is greatly exaggerated. I think I said I'd delete the main page for you if I became Stuart. Keegan (talk) 08:29, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Support, for answering Number 6 correctly.. Doctor WHO Who?...--Ste moc 11:18, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Support, for all the reasons given above, apart from some of them. Irondome (talk) 13:17, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Support!! per WP:ILIKEIT not WP:IDONTLIKEIT. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bobherry (talk • contribs) 13:32, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
(edit war) Strong Support. We desperately need more incompetent and worthless admins, because they're too worthless to ever be capable of making a mistake. Competent, smart admins who know how to use the tools always find a way to misuse them. --Biblioworm 14:34, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose- I liek bananas. –Davey2010^Talk 14:56, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Me too. Epic Genius (talk) 15:05, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
What is happening here??? How is banana related to this RFA? --Tito Dutta (talk) 17:26, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Anyone want a bananananananananana?

Titodutta - Bananas are related to everything here . –Davey2010^Talk 17:58, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
On a serious note, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA BANANA KING RULES!! Epic Genius (talk) 18:20, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
ALL HAIL King Banananananana Keeeeeeeegaaaannn –Davey2010^Talk 18:31, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose, on the condition that you don't like doughnuts and hamburgers, otherwise I'll support. Epic Genius (talk) 15:05, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
I like admins that like donuts and hamburgers.
Merge Can't understand the answers. Can't understand the questions, either. Peridon (talk) 17:21, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Strong support I firmly believe that Keegan will be instrumental in implementing my shadowy purposes. Fully support, from the shadows, but nobody should know about it. Seriously, tell no one. --MarkTraceur (talk) 03:47, 2 April 2015 (UTC)

Oppose

Delete, please petition the WMF dev team to delete this account from the database(s). Nakon 02:27, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Hi there. Unfortunately, accounts cannot be deleted. However, you are free to abandon your account if you would like. Thank you for your time, my apologies for the inconvenience. Keegan (talk) 02:31, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Who says so? Destroy the earth (a complete destruction), your Wikipedia account will be deleted. --Tito Dutta (talk) 17:18, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose and snow close. User is already an admin. --Izno (talk) 03:27, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose Fails to meet all my RFA criteria and no pledge to block Jimbo. Davewild (talk) 06:53, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Question so I can improve: Who is Jimbo? Links or it didn't happen. Keegan (talk) 07:09, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
You don't know Jimbo? He has another name -- no, not Jimmy, it is Job, as Jimbo = I m Job (anagram) --Tito Dutta (talk) 17:18, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

@Keegan: Jimbo - there you go. Jianhui67^T★C 07:13, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oh. I have no idea what the Squirrel Nut Zippers have to do with any of this, but I'm more than happy to delete the band. Not the article. The band. Keegan (talk) 07:17, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Switching to strong neutral due to the excellent badgering done by the candidate, will consider opposing if withdraw and reapply in 1 hour. Davewild (talk) 11:37, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose As someone, who consistently fails, to use commas correctly, the idea of giving the blocking tool, to someone who thinks commas are important, deeply scares me. Bosstopher (talk) 10:58, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose You made a mistake nine years ago. How do you explain yourself? --Unforgivingbluesphere440 (talk) 11:20, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose, that badgering (aka replying to an oppose in any way, shape, or form) you did above is unforgivable. --AmaryllisGardener ^talk 12:41, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose - I paid him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, and he never painted it! Ivanvector (talk) 12:46, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose (and regard my double !vote below, please). The candidate never did nothin' for me. Why should I do somethin' for him? Epic Genius (talk) 12:57, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose For all the reasons above, apart from some of them. Irondome (talk) 13:19, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose He already has the hidden flag emperor of the world which has every userright bundled in, including founder. To add administrator squared is redundant.Cyber^P(talk) 13:55, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose Cannot support, on the grounds that it is already after midday in the UK. Deb (talk) 14:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
OpposeToo many tears. Plus, Keegan 2 reminds me too much of Keegan - enough said.--S Philbrick (Talk) 15:34, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
RIP IN PIECES Keegan (AKA Teke or Keegan 1) You won't be remembered :'( *crying*.--AldNon^Ucallin?☎ 15:56, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Candidate has identified as Peyton Manning and appears to be using his account to promote Papa Johns. Therefore, oppose per candidate's failure to also promote Buick. Mellowed Fillmore (talk) 16:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
He's already promised to promote Lincoln. Matthew McConaughey (talk with a Texas twang) 17:22, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose I'm only mildly amused. GraniteSand (talk) 16:37, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose Move to Draft: — xaosflux ^Talk 16:55, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
But if you support, then I can delete the draft. Keegan (talk) 17:22, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose I view self-nominations as prima facie evidence of power hunger. Keegan (talk) 17:22, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose and speedy delete - Reminds me of the National Merit Scholar and All-American snow skier who came through fraternity rush at my house years ago. His name was "Chuck Brown." Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose because because. ///EuroCarGT 20:32, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Oppose. I don't like his face. Softlavender (talk) 06:24, 2 April 2015 (UTC)

Neutral

Neutral leaning towards support The candidate appears confused. This can only be good. I would advise that the applicant tries again in a year, or any other internationally recognised unit of time. Irondome (talk) 13:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Neutral leaning towards oppose. The applicants answer to Q.39 is worrying. Irondome (talk) 13:30, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Bureaucrats should consider discounting the above two !votes. Irondome appears more confused than the candidate. --Izno (talk) 15:58, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

I agree. The answer to Q. 39 is just wrong. --Tito Dutta (talk) 17:20, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Neutral As with (1) above, in which I would advise the candidate to return on this date every year to make progress reports, until we deem that he is confident and proficient enough to take on the responsibility. No News ! 15:13, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Neutral Ordinaire £3.99 at the bigger Sainsburys outlets. 13%. Its a bit rough to start but if you can keep it down it gets you there. Irondome (talk) 15:24, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Isn't that spam? Peridon (talk) 19:56, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

No, they do that for £1.99 a tin. I like spam fritters. In no way will you influence my vote with this bAdgErINg. I firmly support a combination of !support, !oppose, !neutral and !trolling in my !!vote, for this excellent/verypoor/indifferent candidate. My minds are made up. Irondome (talk) 20:03, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Reverse

'Reverse-deadmin. Long overdue. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 12:32, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Comment: Suprapromotion

This admin should be promoted to bureaucrat, founder, and super awesome overlord of Wikipedia. Epic Genius (talk) 12:56, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
He is an admin already??? Then why is there this RFA? :P Jianhui67^T★C 12:57, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
He is an admin? Did I really assume that? I thought Keegan was a new user or something. Epic Genius (talk) 13:13, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

I think you've misunderstood - what Keegan is obviously going for is the post of administrator administrator. We have often asked the question Quis administeriet ipsos administrades? ("Who administrates the administrators"), and here is the answer. Hence the "2" in the title is actually "to the power of", hence "request for adminship squared". Simples. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 13:27, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

That is still inappropriate, consdering that the "2" is after the slash and part of the Username. I propose filing it under "Requests for admin² ship". No News ! 15:22, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

This admin should be promoted to bureaucrat, founder, and super awesome overlord of Wikipedia. -- I totally agree. Plus give me these flags-- bots, category-movers, super-protector. --Tito Dutta (talk) 17:05, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Speedy oppose, indef block and community ban for being a sock puppet of me. Zeke Essiestudy (talk) 13:53, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Troll Korner

Heh, you think I would forget? You think the pain has gone? What you did to me that night in 2007? THE CITATION WAS GOOD! EVERYONE KNOWS MY CITE WAS GOOD! THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE GRIND SLOW BUT EXCEEDINGLY SMALL MAN!! [[Irondome talk) 13:59, 1 April 2015 (UTC)|00.00000.00.0000.0.]] Blocked sock puppet of me. Zeke Essiestudy (talk) 14:01, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Hey can I nominate someone else, too?

I think I'm going to.