Hey sorry I put this on the talk side of your page and am unsure if that was correct so Im throwing it on here just to be sure!
Anyway here it is! So overall I think that this article is very hard to read and difficult to follow and very short. I think you could completely transform this article if you just focus on a few points. Here are the overall points from each of the sections of the peer review:
Lead evaluation: The lead is lacking in many aspects, while the entire article is underwhelming the lead is overly detailed causing it to be hard to read, I would recommend doing other updating and then coming back to the lead so you don't need to backtrack after making other edits.
Content evaluation: Overall there is tons of room for improvement on this articles content, I think if you were too add a background, and current context sections to the article you would greatly improve it.
Tone and balance evaluation: As long as nothing that you add has a bias and is well balances you shouldn't have any issues regarding the tone/balance.
Sources and references evaluation: The sources and references are one of the worst parts of the article, many of the in article links just take you right back to this page which is useless. I would recommend finding sources for some of the information but more importantly either fix or eliminate the links that bring you to this page.
Organization evaluation: I really think that the article is not well organized at all, it is very difficult to read and is only a lead, a table, and then a section dedicated to other topics. I think that the organization would be greatly improved just by rewriting to make it readable and then making the other sections mentioned before.
Images and media evaluation: Article needs media, without any its easy to lose interest and hard to convey information.
Overall Evaluation: I think that this article is totally lacking in every way possible, while this is a harsh critique, this is great news for you! I think that if you focus on getting a background section and, current conditions/current events on the page you would greatly improve the article. Once that is done and some media like photos is added I think you could simply update the lead to reflect the new sections and it would be a million times better and make the page much more readable by changing the lead from the "fact presenting" it is to a readable summary of itself. As long as you do these things without a bias and also update the links of the page you will have completely changed the article and made it so much more usable. GOOD LUCK!!
This user is a student editor in University_of_Pittsburgh/The_Archaeologist_Looks_at_Death_(Fall_2020). |