Liziming99
Hey sorry its a little past midnight, I had a presentation that went until 11pm and then had issues with WIKI letting me do my peer review. Anyway here it is! So overall I think that this article is very hard to read and difficult to follow and very short. I think you could completely transform this article if you just focus on a few points. Here are the overall points from each of the sections of the peer review:
Lead evaluation: The lead is lacking in many aspects, while the entire article is underwhelming the lead is overly detailed causing it to be hard to read, I would recommend doing other updating and then coming back to the lead so you don't need to backtrack after making other edits.
Content evaluation: Overall there is tons of room for improvement on this articles content, I think if you were too add a background, and current context sections to the article you would greatly improve it.
Tone and balance evaluation: As long as nothing that you add has a bias and is well balances you shouldn't have any issues regarding the tone/balance.
Sources and references evaluation: The sources and references are one of the worst parts of the article, many of the in article links just take you right back to this page which is useless. I would recommend finding sources for some of the information but more importantly either fix or eliminate the links that bring you to this page.
Organization evaluation: I really think that the article is not well organized at all, it is very difficult to read and is only a lead, a table, and then a section dedicated to other topics. I think that the organization would be greatly improved just by rewriting to make it readable and then making the other sections mentioned before.
Images and media evaluation: Article needs media, without any its easy to lose interest and hard to convey information.
Overall Evaluation: I think that this article is totally lacking in every way possible, while this is a harsh critique, this is great news for you! I think that if you focus on getting a background section and, current conditions/current events on the page you would greatly improve the article. Once that is done and some media like photos is added I think you could simply update the lead to reflect the new sections and it would be a million times better and make the page much more readable by changing the lead from the "fact presenting" it is to a readable summary of itself. As long as you do these things without a bias and also update the links of the page you will have completely changed the article and made it so much more usable. GOOD LUCK!!
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Pittsburgh/The_Archaeologist_Looks_at_Death_(Fall_2020) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Liziming99, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:11, 28 August 2020 (UTC)